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Originally Posted By: iwantittowork
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Hopefully we will have a package put together soon so we can move forward and cash my W out of the house.


Good luck BJ, I am pulling for you. Now that I am out, I have found an extra measure of peace. I believe you will find the same after, so keep that in mind as you progress. You'll get an even more objective view of things without her around all the time 'in your space' so to speak.

That brings a whole new set of questions. Would you even want to save the MR if she comes back around? And many more, although you man already be contemplating those.. smile



IWITW,

I'm pulling for you too. Yes, I do believe that once my W moves out I will develop even more objectivity regarding my sitch.

Regarding saving the MR, my W at this point would have to do A LOT of changing herself for that to even be a possibility. I don't see my W cleaning up her act anytime soon though. That would require accepting PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY shocked along with HARD WORK sick which according to her, perfect Rs (i.e. her and OM) should not require. So, she remains confused and obsessively devoted to OM who she is STILL talking to on a regular basis. But that is her problem, not mine.

Have a great week and thanks for checking in.


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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I'm so sorry to hear about this. We all hope to DB our way back into our M's but so often we support each other through D. We're still here.

And keep on sailin'...


Me: 42
Him: 43

Two divorcees in a relationship
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Quote:
That would require accepting PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY shocked along with HARD WORK sick which according to her, perfect Rs (i.e. her and OM) should not require.


I agree with you 100 percent here, and have heard the exact same things, perfect R's require no work, etc. Doesn't even seem based in reality at all does it?

Thanks for your thoughts BJ!


M: 41
STBXW: 41
D: 9
Bomb: 4/26/09

On board the D train now..

"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
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BigJohn Offline OP
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Hope/IWITW,

Thanks for the feedback guys. Just another day in the Twilight Zone for me....crazy


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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Quote:
Just another day in the Twilight Zone for me


I have that music now stuck in my head as I am reading your posts...

Seems appropriate...


M: 41
STBXW: 41
D: 9
Bomb: 4/26/09

On board the D train now..

"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
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Posts: 444
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BigJohn Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: iwantittowork
Quote:
Just another day in the Twilight Zone for me


I have that music now stuck in my head as I am reading your posts...

Seems appropriate...


IWITW,

I know how that goes...someone mentions a song and it just sticks in your head for awhile playing over and over. Now that you've played The Twilight Zone over in your head a zillion times, here's a new one for you: "Another One Bites The Dust". See how long it takes to get that one out of your noggin! laugh

I'm heading out to the gym. Have a good one.


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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Oh great. Now I have "Another One Bites the Dust" dubbed over the "Twilight Zone" theme in my head. Thanks guys!


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BigJohn Offline OP
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What a perfect soundtrack to play in my head right now! Shall we add Bohemian Rhapsody to mix while were at it? laugh crazy

I'm feeling evil today... grin


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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Quote:
Doesn't even seem based in reality at all does it?


That's just it......they are not living in reality.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Originally Posted By: BigJohn
Regarding saving the MR, my W at this point would have to do A LOT of changing herself for that to even be a possibility. I don't see my W cleaning up her act anytime soon though. That would require accepting PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY shocked along with HARD WORK sick which according to her, perfect Rs (i.e. her and OM) should not require.


BJ - You would NOT believe how many times I have heard "it shouldn't be this hard" when discussing MR. All of her divorced friends say the same thing (no wonder...).

And of course, personal accountability should be avoided at all costs as that might make it seem as if one had made a bad decision. And we ALL know any decisions made purely based on how you are feeling can't be wrong...

We are both meeting with D lawyers this week, and like you seem to have already done, I am beginning to think it's time to just cut her loose and let her live with her choices...

Oh, and one more song to add to the mix: "Your Time is Gonna Come" by Led Zepplin. Fits nicely....


Me 47
W 44
D16, D13
T 23yrs
M 20yrs
WAW/MLC + Male EA "BFF from H.S." = Misery

My Sitch
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