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Jman, my XW filed back in June and it was done by August 28th.
That was after a year of reading this board and D'bing hard-core.

dday, you are spot on, brother. I think she suspects because I got an email today with all sorts of questions about my life.
Oh well, in 10 years of marriage I never so much as looked at another woman, but I'm free now and I know she could not stand the thought of me seeing another woman.


Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08
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Quote:
Well, I'm doing good. I think I'm really finally to the point where I have almost completely detached- or is it resignation(?)-


Hummm, well I would think that the resignation would have to come before "true" detachment. As we say here on the board, "It is what it is". A whole lot of detaching the folks on the board do.....is really faking it till they make it. But don't tell them I said that....(lol).


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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BigJohn Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
Quote:
Well, I'm doing good. I think I'm really finally to the point where I have almost completely detached- or is it resignation(?)-


Hummm, well I would think that the resignation would have to come before "true" detachment. As we say here on the board, "It is what it is". A whole lot of detaching the folks on the board do.....is really faking it till they make it. But don't tell them I said that....(lol).


Sandi,

Agreed wink. I think it is a little bit of both right now. My sitch is crazy and I'm just exhausted. I could tell you about the fight she picked with me over custody of the kids tonight but I won't even bother. It's just crazy.

I've come to accept the fact that my W "feels what she feels" and needs to believe and think certain things so everything "tracks" with her feelings. She needs to follow a certain path no matter what the consequences. The kids and I just need to get out of the way, hang on tight and do our best to survive.

Consider the rope dropped!


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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((((Big John)))), you are a big man!


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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BigJohn Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
((((Big John)))), you are a big man!


Thank you Sandi. (((Sandi)))


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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Way to take care of yourself, BJ. If you drop the rope she can't pull your strings. I'm so glad you focus on your children - they are precious. do the best by them and you'll be fine.


Me: 42
Him: 43

Two divorcees in a relationship
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BJ, great attitude! I can say first hand that dropping the rope did wonders for me. My XW no longer had power over me; it was liberating. Almost immediately, I felt impowered. I began to get happy again and I found women in general were attracted to this new postive outlook. It became who I am.

I reconnected with my friends and made lots of new ones. I had a new life and I was happy again, while my XW continued in turmoil. Now she's been emailing wanting to know how my life is and missing some of the good things we had.


Formerly SGfan
M:38
W:33
M:8 yrs
T:10 yrs
Bomb: Dec '08
Separated: 4/18/09
Divorce: 8/28/09
XW Affair began: April 08
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 444
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Hope/SG,

After 6+ months of major turmoil, it is a weird feeling to be where I am. It's like a weight being lifted off my shoulders and I'm feeling more nimble emotionally and intellectually. I'm definitely starting to look at my sitch and my W with a more critical eye. I guess you could say I'm starting to get my game back and it feels pretty damn good.

Thank you for the support and feedback!


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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Posts: 1,836
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I'm proud of you. I'm inspired!


Me: 42
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Posts: 444
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Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I'm proud of you. I'm inspired!


Hope,

Thank you. I just posted you back on your thread. Time for Hope to get her game back too. Have a great weekend!


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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