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she doesnt say it to me...i think she is starting to say it to the family member because the family member is telling her how it is, isnt sugar coating what h did and is not just accepting it like mil and fil seem to do.

she is getting angry because the holidays are coming up and the rest of the family refuses to come to her house if psycho is there (not that he would show up for the holiday anyway)... i think my in laws are twisted in that they may have wanted us to be together, may not like the girl, but think it is ok to see her this whole time because its their son.

they enable him!

so now when someone close to her tells her like it is, tells her they dont agree with situation and like me too much to be around the girl, she doesnt get it.

so she is trying to spin me in a bad light, which is so unsual for her that she is being called out on it!

it is so nice to see and hear his extended family standing up for me when im not even around, when they dont need to. they are nice, good people.

and i will continue to go to their kids' birthday parties and holidays that they invite me to.

its amazing - they like me and trust me enough to tell me what is being said to protect me. the cousin told me she just wanted me to know what was being said so that i limit my conversations with mil so that nothing i say can be somehow used against me.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Hey Mdoodles...miss you over on MLC.....My MIL told me once that I should consider myself lucky that my H left me while I was young and could start over...that it would have sucked if he left me when I was old and it was harder to find someone else!!! She should talk!!!

But of course most of the time parents are going to defend their children and take their side in the end....They may never like what they did, but there is really nothing they can do about it.

Glad to see you are doing well though.

Take Care!


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
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hey kissak, sorry i havent been around much! im starting fall back into routine and checking the boards again! hope all is well with you...

im shocked and not at my mil. ive always been a trusting and slightly naive person so i just assumed that since ive never done wrong, there shouldnt be wrong to say about me!

to think, ive raised son all by myself, took care of him, did everything with him! make dinner just about every night, i dont buy frozen food, always cooking and doing right by him. and doing right by everyone in their family.

the nerve! total nerve! i didnt even call her today. im sure she noticed.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 182
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I can relate with the mil problem.

A few years back when my H and I was going through a hard time and she knew what he had been doing, she would defend him to me. Give me all the reasons why he would do these things because I was do this or not do that.

Anyway, like they have said blood is thicker than water. I have an ok relationship with mil right now but I don't say htings that are too indept about myself and my feelings. I know that my H still tells her his side of the story and that she hardly ever ask my side of it. He probably paints me in a bad light most of the time but I guess I don't care that much anymore.

I hope that your mil gets past this stage soon. I do not blame the in laws for not wanting to go to the holidays if the OW is going. Right now you are still married to the H and he really has no right to bring her around liek that.

I hope things get better with this soon


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
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I think that eventually she will get past taking sides. Especially if you arent putting her in a position where feels like she has to defend her son, I just try to think how would you react if your son had done this? While you would be very disappointed, and would probably tell him so, you probably would feel like you had to defend him just a little.

I think that you are now (and have been all along) doing a great job, and you know it! Dont let her smack talking get you down!


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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its an awkward situation because she never says anything directly to me, i only know she has said a few things to her sister (h's aunt)...it is so nice to know that his extended family will speak up for me when it is necessary and justified even when i would never know what is being said about me.

i have pulled back from talking to mil as much and she notices im sure. i spoke a few times yesterday and will see them today at a cousin's birthday party.

i know i never wronged anyone and that im a great mother. its just hurtful to hear she can have what to say about me after everything, after us being best friends and next door neighbors. whatever.

otherwise im doing well, far removed from h, as he is from me. i have to sign some paperwork this week at my lawyer to start the ball rolling on the motion for support. i need money already! and health insurance from his new job.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 476
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Doodles, how have you been? I take it no news is GREAT news. Hope you're well and having a good time GALing and that son is getting adjusted to his new neighborhood. Write back when you get a chance.

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Hi Doodles, Just checking in on you, hows everything going?


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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Haven't seen you on here lately? How are things going?

Did this link get locked out finally at 87 pages? How do you find doodles again if it did?


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,501
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Just click on her name and look at view posts.


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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