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im sorry u are so upset, i so know how u feel.

believe me, im not in a "thrilled" position, but i am much better not caring about h anymore.

u will be ok, i promise. if i made it, anyone can!

i think u will wake up one of these days soon and be completely detached and removed. i think for us it just happens that way.

i think towards the end we hang on because we are used to it, but deep down dont really want to.

i think that is why it was so easy for me to really like this new guy and be so ready and comfortable to go out and be with him.

now he is my new project! i really have a post it with a date on it to email him if i still want to.

did i mention he lives across the street from me, when u pull out of my community? its crazy.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 182
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Just wanted to say I am glad to see you where you are today. You have come along way and I hope the strength and the courage continues through all the things to come.


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
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Posts: 1,011
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so h has a job, finally. or finally admitting to it.

get this - he tells son sunday night he has this job, gives some details. son tells me, the details seemed made up so i thought son was telling me a story or something (since son always thinks daddy is at work, why would i think now he is really at work)...anyway, waited outside for h yesterday to pick son up. never came. we called and called and called.

i sent a text. no answer. he finally answered the phone and said, oh, im not coming im working. i was like, dont u think u should tell me something like that?

he said, i told son. i was like, he is 5, u dont make a schedule with him, u go through me. we are waiting outside for u.

he was like, im working. and hung up.

so son was crying, i felt so bad for him, not to mention he was sick...

i was so angry. i make my appts and plans for the few hours that he actually comes. my dad ended up coming to watch son for an hour so i could get my things done.

i called my lawyer, told him to call h's lawyer and tell him we know about the job and im looking for my health insurance (and money).

i sent an email to h (i like to put things in writing) saying u cannot communicate your schedule through our child. i copied my lawyer.

went to my lawyer today to drop off all of my paperwork that documents everything over the past year. so many papers, i couldnt even fax them.

he really has alot of nerve but atleast im not upset about him anymore. just upset with how he behaves with our son.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
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Hopefully he will come to realize sooner or later the mistakes he is making with his son.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
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I like your style, Doodles. Mamabear!! mad

Puppy

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glad u like it puppy! took me long enough, huh?

i was always preparing for when i need to be tough, to protect myself. i gave him plenty of opportunity. now he can get what he deserves.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,992
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Just be prepared that when things start getting tough for him on the legal part that he might try to weasel his way back.

You sound like you are doing well. I am amazed that you have not had your thread get locked after 84 pages.

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I will have to say that telling a 5 year old instead of the mama was a low down trick by your H.

Seems to me that playing games with you is still your H's favorite past time.

I sure hope your H does not make it a habit to disappoint your son.

What kind of job did your H get? A respectable one or McD's? hope this means that you and son will get support soon.

Thinking of you.


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
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Posts: 1,011
he has not seen son since last monday. u would think he lived in another state or something. total loser. i just feel bad for my son, i keep him busy so he doesnt notice too much.

his job? not sure what he is making, hopefully more than mcdonalds!

im not worried, it should all be revealed, just hope there is no cash involved.

doesnt look like he is weaseling his way back any time soon....he even heard i was dating alittle, he doesnt seem to care.

im surprised my thread hasnt locked!


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 182
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Posts: 182
sounds like things are looking up for you. YOu should read some of the other forums about 'seperated, now what', and 'the divorce is happening' type of forums. (If you haven't already) It may give you some insight on what has happened to people that are in the same place in their M as you are.

hope the good news and quiet times keep happening for you


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
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