he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

so h came today to see son. met him outside, he took him for a few hours. this was the first time he ever took him out the entire time, now that we dont have "our" house, there is no where for him to hang out. good, makes him have to entertain son without relying on staying in the house and letting him watch tv.

i let him come in when he dropped him off, son wanted him to. we didnt even so much as look at eachother.

its better this way. atleast for now.

[lost-n-Iowa]

Sometimes I think silence speaks louder than words about certain situations.

I think you did good cuz it ended up being a pleasent pick up and drop off. That is what your son is seeing too. No fighting.

I am proud of you for that.

[Sanderika]

Hi Mdoodles,

I haven't posted much over the past two weeks. I have these spells where I have to back off.

You have been a very busy girl.

I am very happy for you and little son that the move went so well. I am excited for you that he loves his room, it makes everything so much easier on you to see him so happy.

I was very sorry to hear that your jewelry came up missing. Have you ever figured out what H really has done with it all? I am sorry I assume that H is the one who took it, especially if it was not him. It could be the person who he brought over who helped him out that night he borrowed his fathers vehicle.

I think the silence between you and H will run it's course and there will be friendly conversation between the two of you again with time. You both have some healing to do over what has happened in your lives in the past couple of months. Once things look brighter for each of you in your own ways the conversation will follow. For you, you have aready made brighter choices, for H they will come much harder.

I think you sound strong and absolutely wonderful. You have grown so much even in just a couple of weeks, I can speak for everyone here....We are proud of you!!!!

Keep your head high and keep moving forward....your H can already see his mistakes, just leave him to live his choices. One day he will realize they aren't working out very well for him.

(((((Hugs to you and little son)))))

Sanderika

[mdoodles]

thanks sanderika, i appreciate your kind words. i have made alot of progress huh ? lol...it feels like it happened over night but i think it was a long process where i knew i was done but didnt want to be. and then one day, i just had enough and have yet to look back. its rather freeing actually!

im busy preparing all of my information for the lawyer for my pendente lite. i have documented well and it has helped! i typed up all my informaton over the past year so i wouldnt forget anything.

and now he will be hit hard with everything he has done. he has no one to blame but himself.

i read your thread, im sorry u arent seeing any changes in your h. maybe u still will. is there anything u can change to spark the change in him?

[Sanderika]

Hi Mdoodles,

I have to say it again.....I am so proud of you!!!!

You have done everything right. You and little son will be fine and your future will be wonderful. You have strength and beauty and independence, good things will come to you both.

Thanks for asking about me. At this point in time, H has to do the work if he wants us. I am at the end of the road for what I can do. All I can do is maintain current attitudes and behaviors. I don't even have to try anymore since it's who I am now.

I did get a positive on Sunday. I hate to write about my sitch now, I can't explain it. Is that wierd or what?

I will write about it on my thread when I return from work.

I hope you keep posting, it will be fun to read good things about you both. I am anxious to read how the first day of school goes for little son. Are there any little kids in your complex for him to play with?

Are you actively seeking employment now that the move is behind you? If you are, patience will pay off. I am a self employed individual. I started to put the word out about 8 months ago that I wanted to pick up another job. It was about a month ago now that someone called me with an offer. I have now had a second job for 4 weeks. It will be a good job, I hope. The boss is a challenge. I find him a bit arrogant and his tone and words are condescending. I am a bit afraid of him. I want to give it a real chance before I say something.

I have to get to work, I wish you a very happy day.....

Sanderika

[mdoodles]

i am thinking about jobs but not actively pursuing the topic on a daily basis. my son will be off from camp for 2 weeks after this week before school starts. once that has past and he settles in to school, i will focus more on it.

son is very adjusted to our new place, im so glad. i love it too. he is enjoying the pool and likes to play tennis here. it really is a nice place, im very glad it worked out that i was able to move here.

we didnt meet the other kids but he is so social im not concerned. we know one boy in the new school and i could have requested for son to be in his class. my son said, "nah"...too funny.

i will keep posting as much as possible. hope things are well with u sanderika.

[lost-n-Iowa]

Glad to see that things are coming together for you on a personal level. When will you have to go to court? Has the OW been served yet? When you go to court what are you going to be going for?

Just wondering all of this stuff to keep up with your stitch.

Thinking of you

[mdoodles]

i dont know when i will have to go to court. i am going to review the documents for the pendente lite tomorow. i will be going for child and spousal support. my attorney sent the motion for the restraining of our assets as well as notified h's attorney that i have not received any form of support while h still pays for his cars and that we are taking action.

ow was not served the order yet! i was on the phone with the sheriff yesterday. would u believe i have to fax the precinct a copy of the order? makes no sense.

[mdoodles]

so im busy giving my attorney all of the remaining information needed for my case to get support. it has alot to do with him claiming he has no job and how they will impute his income. i dont even think he realizes what he is in store for him.

i dont feel bad.

im so happy i have gotten to this point where i am capable of doing the right thing and not worrying what he will think.

we spend so much time worrying what our WAS might think, do u think they thought about us at all, what we might have thought of their affairs or their spending of our marital money?

[vickyd]

spending of our marital money?

True true true!!!!!