Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 80 of 100 1 2 78 79 80 81 82 99 100
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
K
K4D Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
I have been following your thread for a while. I certainly don't blame you for feeling the way you do. It is pretty nuts. I just hate to see any stander lose faith and move on to someone else.

It is not an easy road to stand for 3 years. I have only been at it for 11 months and still continued to make every mistake in the book.

You sound like you have done very well in your stand. It would be nice for your H to see how lucky he is and wake up. I hope when he finally does that you are still available. He knows not what he is doing.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
K
K4D Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
A friend of mine said I need to sign up and do this. He said I would benefit greatly from it. And it is really cheap compared to other programs. He said it would really give me direction in my life.

http://www.theroadadventure.org/

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
K
K4D Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
Oops. I meant to post that on my thread. lol.

Oh well, take a look at it anyways

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
one day he will wake up. im so not even thinking about it though, ive had enough. the person he has become is not the person i married. its too ugly now, been too long, and after the whole business thing and going back to psycho, well, its enough.

im so thinking about this other guy, which tells me and everyone else that im done with h.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 182
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 182
The return that some posters are talking about is once your H realizes that you have 'moved' on, whether is to a new man or just 'moved' on without him, he is going to want you back.

He will more than likely beg, plead, tell you he will dump the OW, tell you he will do anything to save M, tell you he will change if you will give him another chance.

This usually happens when the one who thinks they have the cake and can eat it too suddenly sees that the cake has left for a different party.

I think everyone is wanting you to be aware of the possible (more than likely) return that the H will do. And want you to think about it before it happens.

Thinking of you.


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
thanks. but i dont think he is going to be begging me any time soon.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 819
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 819
As far as your "crush" goes -- did you see the movie "He's Just Not That Into You"?

If a man wants to see/talk to you -- he will make it happen.

Don't call him -- if he doesn't like you, or is interested enough to call -- he's just not that into you.

And a little mystery on your part won't hurt.


Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,501
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,501
It seemed so funny to me that when I broke it off with the first guy I dated, he made all of the mistakes! He didnt know about DBing at all obviously! Pursued, pestered, all of it. I actually saw what I had done to H first hand, and how obnoxious it was. It made me feel pretty icky, but was a heck of a wake up call!

Even if you never hear from the new guy again, I think that this whole interlude has healed you some more, and let you detach even more!


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
definitely healed me but left me confused!

im thinking this guy has issues or something, to behave how he did and then pull away.

i left it on a nice note, never got psycho on him, or did the how could to him.

im sure i will see him around and if/when i do, i have nothing to be ashamed of. he might, but not me.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
cant believe i am moving tomorrow, still so much to pack and go through, its crazy. guess i will tell h that im moving tomorrow and that he can get his things after that.

so weird that this is what its come to, where i wont even let him in the house until im gone...never thought it would be this way. im ok with it.

its amazing how almost overnight i went from wanting him back to leaving my wedding band off and wanting to meet someone else.

im thinking it wasnt so overnight. im thinking it was such a process that didnt hit me until i was finally at the fully moved on point.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Page 80 of 100 1 2 78 79 80 81 82 99 100

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard