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"afraid....."

People sure spend a lot of valuable time being "afraid." Afraid of what? Of scummy WAS's and ex-FIL's reactions to......what, exactly?? Unbelievable!

Also, how come the OP's are always "psycho?" I mean really, they have cast a spell on poor, unsuspecting WAS's? Who are these oh-so-powerful "psychos" anyway, Yoko Ono?

And what is so attractive about someone who would choose a "psycho" over their loving spouse and child? Just exactly who is the "psycho" in all of these scenarios?

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im so nervous for him to be home today...of course i look great but im nervous for the interaction if he demands money. im prepared to say, you put us in the position of retaining lawyers, therefore i am doing as i am told and if u have any questions, contact your lawyer.

im still fuming about last night. fuming in general. my shingles pain is acting up of course, which doesnt help any. atleast i dont have the blisters, just the pain. im too young for shingles!

hopefully, he wont even come in the house today and any interaction will be slim to none.

i keep reminding myself just not to engage, not to defend, as much as i would really like to!


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Hi mdoodles,

I am back from work. I will be with you in thought this afternoon.

Try and maintain calm, "fake it til you make it", you will be fine. Keep thoughts in logical and solution based terms, save the emotions for after he leaves.

We are all here for you....

(((((Hugs)))))

Sanderika


ME48/H48MLC
T 33y
M 28y
S16
OW 8/7/05
Bomb 8/16/05
Sep 9/05
H f'd D 10/3/08
D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09
D dismissed 2/5/10
H served me D papers again 9/4/10
D dismissed 9/26/11
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things are extremely ugly. he came, knocked, i unlocked door. he played ball outside, then came in. son said they are going to dave and busters. then h came upstairs and asked for money. with son standing there, i tried to deflect and not answer and focus on son.

he didnt let me. he asked again, i said i do not have any money. he kept pushing. i said, u are here for son, take him and have fun.

he went on and on and on and i didnt engage. he said, u think u can just keep everything and sell what u want and keep the money. i didnt answer.

poor son was hearing everything, i kept saying, go play with him and have fun.

then i did answer and say, im paying bills. he said, give me money and i will pay bills. i said, i gave u that chance and u didnt do it.

he told me he will give me no maintenance because he doesnt have to and will work at mcdonalds and u will get $40 in child support.

i said, enjoy your career at mcdonalds. then he told me im not getting anything from his pension, that he isnt signing the stipulation. i simply said ok.

then he turned around and said, i hate you several times.

i said, no, u hate what u have done to your life.

i said to son, have a good time. and h said quietly, directed at me, yeah son, hope u have your clothes for overnight.

i looked at him and said im calling the police. he said, oh im just kidding idiot.

do u love it? he is totally nuts. i called my attorney and left a message.

psycho hasnt been served with order of protection yet so im afraid he is taking son to meet her.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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the good thing is that im stronger than i used to be and know the ny laws and courts are behind me.

atleast he cant scare me that way. i know he cant get away with what he has done and i know i have done everything within my rights to do.

i hate this.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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so i called to see the status of his porsche, he somehow made a payment last week. hmmm, no money for child support?


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Doodles,

Why did more than even one SENTENCE of this happen in front of your son? mad mad That's simply UNACCEPTABLE, and you BOTH have the responsibility for protecting him. You should have cut off the conversation right there, and said "If you'd like to discuss it in private with me, I'd be happy to, but this is not a topic we should be discussing in front of our son," -- AND ENDED IT.

btw, he's clueless about "working at McDonald's" thing. A judge can IMPUTE A REASONABLE INCOME to him, based on what he's qualified to do and what jobs are available in your area. A parent can't just intentionally "under-employ" themselves, to avoid paying either child or marital support.

Puppy

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Originally Posted By: mdoodles
so i called to see the status of his porsche, he somehow made a payment last week. hmmm, no money for child support?


DOCUMENT IT.

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already emailed my lawyer regarding the car payment.

i did my best not to engage h in front of son, kept interupting and cutting him off and saying, ok, have a good time at dave and busters. i did it as often as i could.

the "i hate you" and other stuff at the end, son was outside and didnt hear. but i do not want him even in an evironment where he hears h yelling. and ive told him this.

i know about the imputing of the income. seems like h doesnt, i wonder what kind of a kook lawyer he got himself.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 761
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 761
Hang in there mdoodles you are doing good.

I understand how hard it was to be confronted in that manner.

Perhaps next time (if there is a next time), tell little son to go outside immdeiately. My guess he will mind you and do it on the spot.

On your other thread we have suggested to arrange for a meet up place separate from your home. Another thought is you could simply have son at the door the next visit. Upon knocking, son is ready to go and H is not allowed inside.

It will be in your best interest right now to avoid any/all available moments to have a discussion on money, bills, furniture, support, OW, etc. (all the stressful gritty subjects).

The court system will base child and spousal support on an amount H is capable of making based on prior employment records. Mickey D's is a smoke screen H is using to avoid and evade. He is getting money from somewhere to pay a $527/month Porsche Payment. Even under the table employment will not get him off the hook. Most/All States now have zero tolerance policies for deadbeats.

Take care mdoodles, we are on your side and wish things for you to be better soon. Try and have a pleasant evening.

Sanderika


ME48/H48MLC
T 33y
M 28y
S16
OW 8/7/05
Bomb 8/16/05
Sep 9/05
H f'd D 10/3/08
D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09
D dismissed 2/5/10
H served me D papers again 9/4/10
D dismissed 9/26/11
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