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i just want to move already. i want out of this house, as much as i love it and will miss it, im ready to go.

i cant be next door anymore to my in laws. i love them and they love me, but its too much for me now...h took his father's truck yesterday and still hasnt brought it back. im tired of knowing i can look out the window and wonder if he will be pulling up.

i dont want to know from it anymore. if i didnt live next door, i wouldnt even know that someone drove him out here to take the truck. i have no clue why he took it and it doesnt even matter! its just that im here to witness things and dont want to be.

oh and did i mention that since he is angry at me for selling things, he hasnt called son...

its amazing how right i am that he ties me and son together. its not right. he is a crummy father. one day he will wake up, right? one day he will so see the damage he has done. i think on some level he sees it already and then buries those feelings under his ugliness.

but one day he will feel bad and want his family back. one day.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Someday maybe, but you will drive yourself crazy waiting for the day he gets it. You need to save yourself and your son from this chaos. I truly believe it will help when you move and you will know even less of his coming and going. You are right, it is painful to watch...so pull the blinds until you can go.

kat


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I think that he buries it under shame. Tells himself that your S deserves better maybe. No, what your S deserves is for his father to want to be a better man.

And yes, he will wake up one day. I beleive that he will deeply regret what he has done. Maybe he will come around in time to still salvage some of his R with you, and his son. Thats why you have to do these things for you and your S. Just move on, maybe he will be lucky enough to pull his head out before you have truly had enough. Maybe not?

Kats right, pull the blinds until you can go.

Last edited by bluerain; 08/01/09 11:49 PM.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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u guys are right. so right.

i hate that i miss him. i hate that he is angry. why dont i ever stay angry with him? its not fair lol.

i hate that even when im angry it gets nowhere, no reaction, doesnt matter. it doesnt pay to get angry.

i cant believe he didnt call. well, i guess i can believe.

i hope they are fighting. i really hope so. its time she leaves him. or he leaves her.

it stinks that i have one single friend. if 50% of marriages end in divorce, why do i not know anyone divorced?


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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I only have one single friend too, I know what your talking about. It can get awkward sometimes.

The statistic I kept thinking of was, if 80% of marriages survive infidelity, how am I in the minority here? I am middle class, white, average everything! I have never been in the minority for anything, why does this have to be the time I end up in the losing 20%?!

Last edited by bluerain; 08/02/09 02:59 AM. Reason: bad grammar!

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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puppy, how do i handle the money discussion that will come tomorrow? he is going to be here and will demand money for what i have sold. i do not want to argue or engage him, i do not want to start a battle where i need to defend myself.

what do i do?


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Originally Posted By: bluerain
I only have one single friend too, I know what your talking about. It can get awkward sometimes.

The statistic I kept thinking of was, if 80% of marriages survive infidelity, how am I in the minority here? I am middle class, white, average everything! I have never been in the minority for anything, why does this have to be the time I end up in the losing 20%?!


I've never heard that 80% figure. That sounds a little high to me. It's CERTAINLY possible for a marriage to survive infidelity, with both partners willing to work at it and with the help of a good MC and some systems in place to make sure it doesn't happen again, but 80% seems awfully high to me. I'd estimate more like 50/50, but I have nothing to base that on other than my gut.

Puppy

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Originally Posted By: mdoodles
puppy, how do i handle the money discussion that will come tomorrow? he is going to be here and will demand money for what i have sold. i do not want to argue or engage him, i do not want to start a battle where i need to defend myself.

what do i do?



You say "I'll have to ask my attorney about that. It's my understanding that if I need to sell things in order to pay off our marital debt, that I'm perfectly within my rights to do so. I'll get back with you."

You also may want to point out to him that YOU have documentation to show what it was you spent the money on (paying off joint marital debts); can HE say the same thing about the items he took? If you pursue a financial settlement, EVERY DOLLAR is going to have to be accounted for, by both sides, in your financial disclosures.

Puppy

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thanks. i have a receipt for the credit card i paid. do u think its wise to put the rest of the cash i made in my checking account to show what i will be using it for? i would be using it for supermarket debits, target debits and apt expenses...


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Yes.

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