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I agree, you spent long enough hoping that she would stop. She didnt, so you ended it, and I absolutely think that you made the right choice.

I was just wondering, do you think that when she said dont hurt our baby she could have meant your H? As in your and her baby, I know thats a really yucky idea, but is it possible?


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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bluerain, my friend thought of that too! she might have, who knows. i think its possible it was related to the other texts she had sent me in the past that i deleted. she may have made references to a "baby" in them. but she might have meant my husband. or my son. who knows.

i just know she is nutso. and i bet its eating her up that she cant lash out and call me.

i might have left it alone if it was just hang ups. it was the texts, the pictures and the constant spoofing of my number and pranking herself and my husband that bothered me.

i also found out she said i called her last week and she heard my son in the background. a total liar!!

so my house is being sold at auction tomorrow, the bank didnt accept short sale. what a joke. i think my house is bad karma. the original owners went through a divorce and foreclosure too. hopefully i will only be the foreclosure part.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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so she turned herself in last night. the officer called me alittle before 11 to tell me he made the arrest and she posted bail. he said my husband was there too (of course, but it makes me sick)...

officer said i wont be hearing from her again, they had a long talk. she did not come out and admit to it but realized with evidence against her is she guilty.

i asked the officer if it was mentioned that she is a mistress. he told me he gets the impression that she just doesnt care. officer gave me the impression that he found her disgusting, he kept saying, she just doesnt care, it doesnt matter to her.

her court date is sept 28. i wonder how h will act today now that this part is over.

im still worried that is she g-d forbid pregnant. i keep thinking the officer knew and didnt tell me.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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im so nervous to see him. so nervous. he called son back before, i was in the shower, didnt answer and son didnt answer either.

maybe he wont be as bitter as im expecting if he keeps calling the house.

i know i shouldnt care, but i do. isnt that my problem overall?

i dont know how to not care.

this is the hardest thing i have ever been through and i hope the hardest thing i ever have to face.

my home was sold at auction today. who ever thinks this will happen them? no one. atleast not me. not people like us who were always in top financial standing.

its becoming too much, i can feel it. but, im smart enough to say, dont lose it now, because even if u lose it now, the problems are still there to be dealt with.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Sorry to hear about the home.

I am impressed that you are still holding strong.

It seems like your H has taken a wrecking ball to your life together. The fact that he went with the crazy woman to the police station shows which side he is on.

He is no right to be bitter. You are the one that should be angry. Dont allow him to try and get the upper hand psychologically.

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so he is here. im shocked he came in the house, shocked.

he played with son in the back, i saw him on his cell so i just had to yell at to son to see if he wanted a drink. im sure he was talking to psycho and im sure psycho heard me.

i did not talk to him yet. i am staying away. he just took son next door to his parents house.

im hoping for an uneventful visit and perhaps break the silence over the phone in the next few days.

i hate that i care what he is thinking or how he feels. what about me? or maybe i care that he isnt caring what im thinking or feeling. maybe i have shown him in the past nothing im feeling matters because i always forgive him.

not sure that im making sense.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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i lost my confidence. i hate this. hate when he has this power over me. when does karma kick in? when does he get to be alone and hit rock bottom?


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,501
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Im sorry doodles. I know how it is to have all the resolve in the world until they come around and you lose it all.

Im sure that hes not having the time of his life, can you imagine what living with someone like her is like?

Have you gotten your apt yet?


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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doodles, I am so sorry to hear that your house got sold. I was really pulling that the bank would come through for you.

You can read up of my thread if you want to. I guess I am not handling things as good as you are because you seem so very strong about it. You have stood up for what you believe in and you have not let your H (or his OW) walk all over you. I still let my H walk all over me. When I start to stand up for myself, I fell like I end up crumbling. You have prevailed through all of this and are still trudging along. I feel like giving up hope and running the other way.

By the way, I love the fact that you asked your son if he wanted a drink while your H may have been on the phone with the OW. That made me laugh!! smile


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
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i seem strong? not to me...lol

i have been dealing with this situation for a very long time, with lots of ups and downs...

im doing alittle better this morning, realizing that husband's behavior is more a product of her going to jail than our relationship. and i expected it, just hurts when i see it.

like everything else, it will pass.

i have to go file for child support though, im done letting him get away with things. he will be angry about that too, but he has not a leg to stand on anymore.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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