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NO, YOU'RE NOT. He is just SAYING you are, and he is DELUSIONAL.

You know this. Doodles, of all the really difficult decisions you've had to make, and things that others of us on this board split and disagree on, this is ONE thing where EVERYONE is saying you did the right thing.

Strength and honor.

Puppy

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thanks puppy. i wish i didnt feel so in knots. i want this feeling to pass.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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One day at a time doodles. Maybe your goal for tomorrow could be to feel better. To do what it takes to feel better. You could go to the store and pick up some of those cheap little spa things, you know the foot scrub and peel off masque or whatnot, take a bath, and laze around in your robe watching crap tv with a thick blue clay mask on your face, gee, guess what I do when Im down?

I agree with puppy, this is maybe one of the most unified fronts that we have presented on this board. This is HIS fault, and just like a teenage boy (which is what the WAS's always seem to become) hes going to try to make it your fault.

Well, let me ask you this: if in 11 years your son, IDK, gets bad grades on his report card, and you wont let him have the car keys, is it your fault if he sneaks out? No matter how much he tried to convince you it was, you would know, absolutely unequivocally know, that he was wrong and in his passionate fit throwing was hurling blame at you, instead of being accountable for what he had done.

So, next time your H sticks his little lip out and pouts because you never let him hang out with homewrecking crazy polish skanks! just remember to not let his poor actions influence what you know is the right thing to do.


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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thanks. wish i could do something nice tomorrow but im going to court for the order of protection. maybe this weekend i can get my nails and toes done, as well as a massage.

son is still sick, took him to the dr. i feel like im trapped in a time warp, i havent gotten nothing done. its always worse when im trapped at home. i need more boxes to pack. i need to finish planning my garage sale, havent even had a chance to get signs made.

i miss my husband, the man he used to be. and im too stubborn to fully see that he isnt around. i mean i see it, but im too stubborn to stop wondering how it could be that he is so different now. i need to accept it.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Dec 2008
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Doodles, just caught up on your thread. All I have to say is: GO DOODLES GO DOODLES GO!!!!! You are so doing the right thing and I am proud of you. Of course, I can relate, when my H's crazy OW attacked me, I processed the case and H was pissed off. He wanted me to stop but I didn't. when the district attorney needed his testimony and he didn't want to, I had them subpoena him. Again he was pissed - but you know what - I WAS RIGHT and I would do it again. You will see very soon how so right you are. Girl, be the strong one here. Your H is weak right now and whacked out - why should you be. I know it feels hard right now and it hurts. It was hurting when she was harassassing you too. It's one thing that she has your H, why rub it in. Show her who's boss her. I'm proud of you!!!!

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thanks vicky, i appreciate it. how are u doing these days? i wish we could exchange numbers considering how muchu can relate and how close u are to me....

i still dont know if she surrendered last night, im hoping the officer on my case will call me. im supposed to go tomorrow for my order of protection. what happens after that? do u know?


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 476
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Well, to be honest the legal system is terribly frustrating as well. The prolong the case forever which adds to the stress. OW in my case had to keep going to court every couple months and the good thing is that they kept renewing my restraining order. But my case ended on being settled by putting her on probation and then they closed the case. I actually did kinda drop the case once it became a nucense for me - I was taking several days off for work for it to go to trial and it never would. The police officer even came several times to testify and the case kept being put off. Then my district attorney that I already had a rapport with changed and I was traveling for work and it would interfere and after a year adn half I was sick and tired of it. And I just gave in and told the new DA to just settled. I couldn't be bothered anymore, but I got my RO in place.

So I'm guessing in your case, if she didn't turn herself in, they will put the warrent out and make an arrest or a lazy detective may drop it but be on his case so that doesn't happen. After that she will deal with the legal system and to be honest the system may consider it a petty crime considering all that they deal with and may just issue a warning with the restraining order. But I can tell you she will be running to court like crazy. That's all I know for now.

But again, do what you have to do to protect your and your peace. Actions speak louder than words!! Your H and her will now understand that you mean the harrassment must end.

Yea I gotta write an update on my sitch. Will do later on.

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havent heard from the officer so i stil dont know if she turned herself in. and honestly, i am so tired, so exhausted, i cant even call to check on it. i assume i will know tomorrow when i apply for the order of protection.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,501
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Do you have an aunt that lives out of town or something? Maybe it would be good for you to spend a day or two out of town, away from all of this craziness


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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Doodles....

WHOOHOO for you girl!!! You have done the right thing and deep down you know it.

Your H's attack on you maybe because before you filed the papers against her he felt like he had control of the situation and that he could come and go and could do whatever he wanted to you, your son, AND with the OW. Now that the tables have turned and you are the one with control, he has suddenly lost all that he thought he had control over.

I hope that all made sence!!!

I know that when I feel like I have lost control of whatever the situation is with my H or my kid's dads, I feel anger right away and want to lash out. It takes all I have not to do it. Your H just plainly lashed out at you.

The pregnancy thing....I would be upset too and I would be nervous too but like some others have said, even if she is there is nothing you can do about it right now. It is another mess that your H has made for himself and HE has to deal with it not YOU!!!

I pray that she isn't, I pray for strength for you, and I pray all stuff gets ironed out for you soon.


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
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