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lol....yeah, wouldnt that be nice...

i am finally at the mindset of they will self-destruct themselves, and deporting her wont help me.

she may be here illegally, may not be, not my business.

atleast not right now lol....im laying low.

its always better to lay low and remain the innocent party that way no one can blame me or hold me responsible for anything.

i dont need this. i have been working really really hard lately at keeping busy and doing fun things with my son and with friends.

i may not have detached or moved on, but i have been staying busy and enjoying myself...


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 182
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I think that you are doing the right thing for you and for your son.

Take it one day at a time. Deal with things as they come up and not the 'what if this or that happens'. The what if's is what gets me all down and depressed.

Glad to hear that you had a good weekend. Your H probably knew where you were at and that may have caused him to act differently around the OW so she probably thought that if she texted you then it would ruin your good time. You did the right thing by deleting it without looking. Even I would have had a very hard time not reading it. Kudoos to you for that!!!!

I admire your strength throughtout this and I am proud of your progress. Keep going...you're moving in a positive direction!!


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
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its always pleasant to be reading the morning paper and spot your home, with your name listed, as a pending foreclosure.

its always nice to be eating your breakfast and drinking coffee to see your home will be sold at auction later this month.

UM, NOT SO NICE, NOT SO NICE!

my lawyer told me the short sale package we submitted to stop the foreclosure hasnt been accepted yet, so they will run the ads that the home will be sold at auction.

these banks are so hard to work with. we gave them a buyer with a decent offer and they cant just stop the foreclosure process?

what a mess. have i mentioned i do not know where i will be moving to, and the biggest problem is that h doesnt have a job yet?

what a big mess. to go from so much money to now nothing but my nice-sized 401k, its so hard to imagine that this is real.

the only thing i can control right now is the packing and organizing of the house.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,992
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Mdoodles -

I am so sorry about the financial problems you face right now. I am hoping something positive comes your way soon.

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Thanks, im hoping so too.

my attorney sent me a follow-up letter from h's attorney.

im assuming its routine for the attorney to send out the follow-up.

i have instructed my attorney not to respond to the letter since it is not a legal document.

i do not think my husband actually called his attorney to do the follow up on that letter. but who knows.

things are just too weird these days...


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,501
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Hi doodles, I cant imagine how that would feel. Did you ever get an answer about the cell phone block not working?


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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the phone company told me i needed to program an update into my phone, that its possible because my phone wasnt updated, the text was able to get through.

honestly, im not trusting the cell phone block, it seems to weird that she has gotten through when she shouldnt have.

one time, the block expired, one time it was turned off by a computer glich and now the update thing.

i dont trust it.

if it werent for not wanting to receive texts from her, i wouldnt even block her, im curious to see how often she tries to call. i just dont want to get messages...

im feeling down, and i havent felt down in a few weeks. i hope to snap out of it shortly.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
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i feel like i need to do something different, like another 180...

i have been doing really really well with the gal and taking care of myself and enjoying myself...

i stopped texting h, its been over 2 weeks.

i changed up my behaviors with him and he really took notice, but then i think he gets used to those behaviors and adjusts.

i mixed it up alittle this weekend and called him to say hi, rather than only let him do the calling.

i dont nag, push or question and hardly even made a situation out of psycho ow's latest behaviors.

what else can i do now? do i send a random text or keep that off limits? do i call him or just wait for him to call?

im looking for something alittle different for him to take notice of...all while he isnt living here. its hard when i dont see him for a few days to really get a 180 in.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 986
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Posts: 986
Have you read in DR the last last resort?


M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy
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yes, i have. that would do nothing for us....i know what works and doesnt work with him and im not particularly comfortable with that technique either.

i believe i even gave it in try in the winter but it made me too unhappy.

showing him absolutely no relationship between us would not be good right now. i think it did wonders when i said i wouldnt have sex with him but i would like to build on that.

some other kind of 180 or something different, something to mix it up. no idea what though.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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