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Joined: Mar 2008
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You will know when you are ready. Sometimes I would get a book regarding my situation. I could read it and for whatever reason it just didn't sink in. I would wait a month or so, pick up the book again and now it made sense. You can have the best advice given to, but until you are ready, you want have a clue on how to proceed.

I am not familiar with your situation but notice that you post quite a bit. What you need to focus on is you. Become the best you that you know how to be. If that means taking classes or picking up a hobby or just starting to go out with friends do it. You do this as a gift to yourself now but later it will be helpful for your current realtionship or your next. Then you can drop the rope and you won't need to be asking how to drop it. It is liberating. (oh and FYI, that doesn't equate to giving up). It is peace for you.

kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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mdoodles, you know my sitch too well and I know yours and I can tell you like kat said, it takes time and we all progress at our own pace. But strange enough you get there. I know my sitch is unresolved and I'm thinking that this whole db or none-db thing is probably a process rather than an achievement. Meaning is not that we are reaching to get something but that its always work n progress. With time you will get there. Really try to occupy yourself and you will get there quicker. Work on developing what you want your life to be life no matter who is a part of it. That's whtI'm trying.

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thanks everyone. i have been doing more things, scheduling more thing, getting out more and getting together with friends more...my friend actually just left, i invited her with her baby for dinner, her husband travels alot for work so we agreed to do our dinner weekly.

and it is true that the busier u are, the better all around.

this is a process and i have many setbacks.

im juggling so many things that sometimes it feels like our actual marriage is on the backburner due to the financial problems with the house, the store, his lack of a job and his debt.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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ok, so i was sleeping, my phone keeps ringing, i see its private, calling my cell and home. i know its her.

i called my mil, too make sure it wasnt her, it was not.

while i was on the phone with her, phone ringing more.

then h calls, i answer. he seemed ok and then tells me he is getting messages from me every 10 minutes on his cell phone through yahoo? and i should stop?

i was like, what are u talking about? i was sleeping, i have no idea what u mean.

he said, then if its your friends tell them to stop, i see its from your number etc.

THAT PSYCHO IS IMPERSONATING MY PHONE NUMBER!

i cant even deal with this, i could so call the police for using my phone number false pretenses


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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i googled it, u can make your number look like someone elses, or send messages from a computer with someone elses number.

im sick. i didnt do anything.

ok, so i should be "happy" that clearly they are in trouble if she is resorting to doing this.

but im not happy, she is playing games and using me and my phone number.

h called my mil, he mentioned the messages to her, and she told him it was not me, that we were on the phone together and that it must be the crazy ow.

i hate this. i never did anything to anyone.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Mdoodles...
Just finshed readingup on your stitch. My only advise for you is to keep doing what you are doing. It seems to me that the things that you have been doing is working. Your busy, your focused on you, your focused on what you and your son need, your looking towards the future in ways of a new place to live and a job. You are doing everything right. Keep it up. As for your H and the OW, it seems to me that even though you are stilling dealing with it all that it has taken a 'backburner' to everything else that you are dealing with. Maybe that is the best for you at this time. You are not exactly letting go as much as you might be letting loose of it all. I know exactly where you are coming from about not wanting to let go. I have not been able to let go either of my stitch but I have been letting loose of certain things. Keep doing what you are doing. It is working.

P.S. About the calls....you can always see if it is on your phone bill that you did not make those calls if it really comes down to having to prove it to him that it was not you.


Me-31
Him-28
D1-9
D2-6
Married 5-06
Seperated 12-07
He filed 1-08
Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08
Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09
Filed for D 4-28-09
Trying to make a go of it 6-09
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You are right - you do not deserve this harassment and impersonation from this crazy woman. Ideally, she should be found in violation of some law and deported (to Antarctica). She kind of reminds me of Glenn Close in the movie "Fatal Attraction".

If she keeps it up, I am sure there are ways to trace it back to her computer.

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oh, i am so ready to have to traced to her computer, or her friend's computers.

perhaps her behavior would warrant deportation, considering i think she is here illegally.

but u know what? why stoop to her level? the best thing i can do, as long as she doesnt start playing dirtier, is do nothing.

he has to know this wasnt me.

she knows it wasnt me.

clearly they are falling apart and she is doing things to get him angry with me to get rid of me


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
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i called my cell phone provider. they said people are "spoofing" phone numbers, nothing i can really do except consider harassment.

then it showed that someone removed her cell phone from my blocked list.

i didnt do that! so they investigated it, cant show how it happened.

im convinced she had something to do with it.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
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Blow it off, Doodles. This whacko isn't worth the time and mental energy you're giving her. She's only trying to get a reaction out of the both of you.

Lock up your bunnies, but other than that . . . wink

Puppy

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