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i try not to think about her, not to focus on her.

sometimes i am good at it, sometimes not so good.

my friends tell me her days are numbered. i hope they are right.

if he isnt with me, let him meet someone else, but not her.

not the one he left for, not the one that has harassed me and said mean awful things.

and yes, i know, who cares if she gets him, he isnt the man i married, he isnt a prize now.

it all sounds nice, all sounds caring, but we all know it doesnt make it easier.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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i always thought that because our middle names were adam and eve, that we were meant to be.

maybe it sounds corny, but i found it so odd and amazing that our middle names went together like that.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,432
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When I think about ow I actually feel sorry for her because I know that she is not getting the best of H. He can't be here at our house and being a friend to me and at the same time be in a true relationship with her. She is not part of his children's life or his parent's life. It's taken me a long time to realise that.

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u are so right, i always think about that. and guess what? so does ow, she knows what she isnt a part of.

i have reminded her of these things as well.

the sun is out, going to the gym this morning and hoping to take my son to the beach and then h will be home.

camp is only 3 days a week so i am looking to keep us busy on the off days.

im not much of a homebody, like to keep busy. even though we have a nice size backyard and swingset, i like to be out and about, not home more than i have to be.

im wondering where and when h will get a job. im giving it 2 more weeks before i start thinking does he have one off the books and isnt saying.

i like to think of course not, but hey, cant be naive anymore.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2009
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why don't you just ask him what his work plans are?


M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy
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i have asked him. a world known place here in ny is a strong possibility, h is friends with the owner, but he can be flighty. i think he is waiting to hear back from him.

otherwise, there arent many options in his field, i dont think he has much planned.

i think he is all over the place in terms of where he wants to work, where he wants to be located.

this wasnt planned this way, he was supposed to be owning a business. its all alittle overwelming.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 986
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then give him some time and let it all play out.


M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
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the beach was awesome today! son and i had a great relaxing time.

its nice now that he is older, i dont have to worry about him wandering off, exploring things. its really nice to hang out with him.

its funny how little kids u fear will plunge into the ocean, because they are fearless. now i have to convince my son it is ok to put his feet in!

anyway, when i pulled up to the house i saw h was already home, how nice of him to let himself in...

nothing too new to report, same nonsense.

i took a shower and hung out, the sun always tires me. h sat with me watching tv in our room. he goes out of his way to hang with me, i was nice, although did not discuss much of anything.

he took son out and called me to see if what son wanted to bring in for dinner was ok with me (as if it ever mattered?lol)

when he went to leave, i did the same as last week, just a simple ok, bye!

im doing well. could be doing better, but it is baby steps for me.

the best thing for me, and anyone, is to get out of the house, keep busy as much as possible.

i did really well with that, kept our schedule packed for 3 solid days....even late yesterday afternoon, did food shopping at a speciality market 20 minutes away, just to get out.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
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Just stay busy, doodles. Stay busy.

Puppy

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Good for you! It sounds like you are keeping busy and letting him know that his moving back out hasn't shut your life down and left you miserable. Keep up those busy schedules!!

Cas

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