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Glad to hear the good news :-)


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Well, looking at patterns, being away from the boards usually means that things are getting much better for each of us. Seems that's the way it's going for me, anyway. Things HAVE been much better. Lot of good stuff in my life, and too busy to post it all.

But now, just as I was going to go to bed, I contemplate what today is.

May 31st.
5/31/86

Must have written that date thousands of times. It was our special day, the most revered on my calendar. The day we met, then our wedding anniversary in 1992.

23 years today...or I guess more truthfully, would have been 23 years today. I'm not sure when to stop counting. Would it be the anniversary of the divorce? The first time he slept with the ow? The bomb?

So, a little grief. Similar to thoughts of my mom or dad on their birthdays, or the anniversary of their deaths.

He emailed me tonight about Father's Day and wanting to have the kids most of the weekend; just business. Can't help but wonder if he feels anything on this day, or on any day. Not that it matters.
This is the third year that we haven't been together on this day, that we didn't recognize it together. And the year before that, our anniversary was only a week or two after they started the PA.
I didn't look up to the night sky, hoping that he would feel me, hear me from across the miles, realize that we were both under the same moon.

I think, for me, this passing sadness is just in honor of what had been - recognizing it. My own little Memorial Day. Thankful for all the good that was, and for the good and growth that has come out of it.

So, now for some Thought Changing:

Sunroom / studio is 90% done. It is open to my bedroom, now, having taken a double-set of sliders out to replace a bad, outer set. I can't wait to paint!

This has been a glorious weekend! I can't remember the last time that we actually had a real Spring with normal temps in the 70s. Yesterday, my district hosted a celebration of the Arts at the local college, and it was fantastic! I worked hard for 11 hours with like-minded people, made new contacts for my networks in local art studios, and hob-knobbed with the Superintendent, Asst Spt., a few other principals, saw many of my students, and made art things with kids out in the sunshine!
Church was great today, and I bought the flowers off the altar to bring home. The scent is wafting through the whole house. Afterwards, went out to lunch with some friends, planted flowers, read the Sunday paper, went shopping for homegoods. And then the kiddos were home!

Lots of things coming, and things are looking up.

Heard a great quote today:

If you live with one foot in the past and the other in the future, you end up pissing on the present eventually!

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Nightmare last night: X being executed by electrocution for the sh!tty things he did to me and our family. No one went to support him. He died alone, with no mention of gf in the obit the next day. I was really upset and sad for him - didn't want it to happen. Woke just weirded out.

Tired from work - it's going to be a crazy week. No one volunteered to help hang their own kids' artwork, so I stayed and worked for 3 hours alone. One volunteer set for tomorrow; my kids will come help, too.
And a fourth grader stole a confiscated iPod right off my desk today. Then lied and cried that it was so unfair that he was being blamed - he was innocent!
Well, 2 other kids saw him. The iPod was found in his shoe after getting permission from his parents to search him. WTH?!

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Such a weird dream!!!!!! That had to be really unsettling.

Sorry about work. That doesn't surprise me that no one volunteered to help. Parents don't get very involved in their kid's schooling anymore. I wish I could be more involved but unfortunately I work full-time plus plus plus. smile

The 4th grader doesn't surprise me at all. Happens all the time. It's the entitlement thing these kids have now.


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bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Originally Posted By: Donna...Found

If you live with one foot in the past and the other in the future, you end up pissing on the present eventually!


Great quote , one I need to take to heart a bit more , Great to read that you are doing well , I have not had time to read the 30 odd previous threads though !

smile

Dave


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Hey Ms. Donna..

*hugs*

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((((((((((((Donna))))))))))))))

I see you are sans voice again huh? Sorry! That stinks. frown


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Donna! Talk to me! What's up lady-friend!!!!!


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FA!!! (and all smile )

Things are doing pretty well. Yesterday was a year post-D, and it wasn't terrible. Wrapped up the day with students, cleaned my room, went to my women's group to talk about "the ground where you sow your seeds." Just got back from a trip into NYC for a play my cousin was in.

I am SO looking forward to this summer!! I can't emphasize that enough. I put in long hours in the last month or two of work, and can't wait for things to ease (only one or two days over the summer of work).

My studio is DONE!!! The painting is complete, and it looks incredible. I picked a warm beige that matches with everything, and can't wait to decorate. I'm not worrying about the floor right away, so I can paint and make a mess to my heart's content this summer while I think about what I want.
Other work on the house is coming along, too. I'm having a deck built around the studio into the garden (which is also being completely renovated), and trying to decide on what to do with the pool. The garbage dump was removed, remember, and now I have to see if I should either 1) fill it in, 2) gunite, 3) liner, 4) fiberglass drop-in form, or 5) fill it in part-way and sit an above-ground pool partially into the hole.

X is set to complete the A/C work on 7/11, almost a year past the agreement date, but at least it will get done. There has still been some drama that I do my best to stay above about the holiday schedule, him thinking there are still things here at the house that belong to him, him getting the kids excited about stuff before he asks me about it, but it goes through email for the large part. Had a rather decent phone convo of about 15 minutes with him last week, though. I know now that he will never apologize for anything that happened, that he will blame me for any inconvenience or hardship that he experiences in his life (did you know I am the cause of all the east coast rain?), and I just don't care anymore. It's just the way it is. I still frustrate the he!! out of him when I just don't roll on what he wants, anymore (like trading a leaky 96 pop-up camper for the $12,000 hot tub! Um, NOT!)
He wants to take S13 to a Yankee game on 7/1, and I said that instead of driving all the way north only to have to drive all the way back, maybe I would take the kids to the Bronx Zoo during the day and he could pick him up from there. He said that he'd like to spend some time with us at the zoo, too (!), and I said that we might as well, that it would be good for the kids if we could work a way to be around each other with and for the kids, so we'll see what comes of that.

I still have to say, I can't believe the rabbit hole this whole thing has been. And I finally feel like I have come back to being me, again. I can't explain it, except to say that I am at peace, feeling normal, getting excited about things in my life again.

Tired, so off to bed. Tomorrow is looking promising...

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I need some advice on the following email exchange:

X: i heard back from someone about the tub. he is very interested wants to meet me there to see it on tuesday afternoon on my way home. we should be there by 4. he was the most serious offer and most interested. it should sell for $1600. if he wants it it should be out this week. i will let you know as soon as i do. please, please let me know you received this. thanks

Me: I want to put an offer in for the tub; I think the kids would get a lot of use of it since we don't have a pool. I have to stretch, but can offer $400 (which would be equivalent to $1200 since I will also not get the 1/2 profit from a sale). Looks like the season of the "staycation." Please let me know by tomorrow, so I know if someone else would be coming by the house.


X: i understand that the kids may use it, but i am also sure it would only be a couple of times. there is no room to swim they will get bored very quickly. also, if i have an offer on the table for 1600 why would 400 be resonable. you say you wouldn't be getting half the profit but you would be getting the tub. if this guy calls me we will be there tomorrow afternoon.

Me: So, you are looking at getting $800, instead of $400, and not letting the kids have the use of it. You can't be "sure" that the kids would only use it a few times - I'm not getting the lake pass this year. Both of them have said that they would use it - ask them. What do you think would be a reasonable offer?


This all after him saying he was listing the $13,000-original-cost hot tub for $5000. This other guy certainly talked him down quite a bit. Can't believe I am haggling with the kids' FATHER for something that the kids would use! So bizarre that he would even take money for it, since it is for them. (I tried to be good and not mention this fact). I think he has taken up permanent residence on the other planet.

So, I am out $1200 but get to keep the tub.
Or, I get $800, and no tub.

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