No need to worry about high jacking a thread. You both have great points that I find really interesting.
I just don't get the thought that he still cares...is that what this statement is supposed to mean?
My son spent the entire weekend with him (his visitation weekend) and came home in a bummed out mood. Dad was out of the driveway before my son even got to the front door. He said STBX was on the cell phone all weekend...either texting someone or talking to someone, or he was on the computer. My son said it was the most boring weekend ever.
I suppose since he's on two 'hook up' websites that most of the time he spends is looking for his 'long term relationship'. How insane is he? My counselor said he just doesn't get it....work on the past issues that brought about your divorce (we both had a part in it) and then move on. Yet my STBX is at the gym working on his body, but not his emotions.
I had acknowledged my part in the breakdown of this marriage...not to him per se, but to God and in my journal, plus I'm working with a counselor who encourages me to 'do life differently'. I didn't want to reach out and admit to my STBX because in my mind it would just validate his leaving...because quite honestly, he has never validated his part and is in the blame stage.
What do you guys think?
Hugs,
Bliss
P.S. This was my very first weekend alone on Easter. I got up, went to church, and then spent the day working in the house. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was invited to come to dinner with my family and other friends, but I thought I'd just spend the day alone, not in thought, but working on an upcoming garage sale. Probably should have spent time with family? Heck, I never know what to do. LOL
Me:46 H: 46 DD:22, DS:12 Together since age 16. Married: 26 years 10-9-08...H filed for D same week as our anniversary.
Dear Lord....Please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
I haven't read the rest of the situation. Forgive me for asking that question prior to reading it.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
All I can say at this pont is maybe he still deos in fact care, but I wouldn't waste my breath in asking for it, nor set expectations to later be crushed when he'll 'say' he doesn't.
AJM has a firmer belief that they do. As I said in my case, she's stated she does, prefusely, and at the moments I believed her an put trust in her once again, time after time, but after reality sank in and she ran right back to her OM, I was crushed. Now, I just have zero faith at all of anything she says in that regard.
Simple fact, I let my feelings be known, and she knew where my door was for 8 long grueling months. A person can only take so much heartache before it's time to just let go. Furthermore, she says she "loves me so much it hurts" yet lives with OM, is "engaged" to him and filed for divorce on me? That's love?
I will say there must be some kind of feeling left or some kind of remorse. Our house she wanted back so badly is still a 'rental property' 2 months after I left it. She says she's only been in it twice since.
I don't know, I just don't know.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
thx sg for checking on her because it enabled me to see that she is still semi-around. I hadn't know of this threads existence. I don't think bliss & i have posted to each other for like 9 months or so.
come around miss bliss. I sure would be interested in knowing how you are.
