Oh I do too. Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I know that there have been times when I thought of going to see someone and would say abc can't help me fix this, only I can. So I think you are right that I am on my own as far as getting through it. However nowhere does it say that I can't ask for help along the way.
Oh and some good news...S16 got his first job. He may only work 2 or 3 shifts a week but free movie passes! Yippee.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yeah, did you read dancequeen's recent post about affairs? Thought that was good. One thing I don't mind about the D taking so long is I can't even imagine dating right now!!!
Congrats to your S on the job!!! I think it will be the perfect first job and can't beat free movies!!! I'm so jealous!!! Karen
Yeah, I got the QDRO order today. It has been signed and filed!! What that means is that those funds are protected from the B. What a relief!!
At lunch I ran out and got some book on fixing things and a book for basements so that I can start working on making that an actual usable space. We use the larger room sometimes but the carpet got ruined with the flooding of the basement a couple of years ago.
I thanked flirt guy for "listening' to me the other night and he responded to that. I know that our "time" isn't now because I need to heal some more, but maybe in a block or so, I can turn the corner.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
AARRGG, Ex just called asking me if I got an e-mail from him. I hadn't that I noticed but refreshed it and there it was. He said he took the kids aside one by one last night and asked if they wanted more time with him. He asked me not to discuss it but took it upon himself to do it.
D8 misses Daddy, D10 is indifferent and S13 is a definetly not. So he gets in this discussion with me. I want this, I want that. I said not once did the kids say they wanted to spend the night tonight to me. I was mad that he went ahead and brought this stuff up. Then he said you always criticize my parenting, what about you? You spend a lot of time on the computer, what about that? What about you being emotional in front of the kids?
I told him for someone that said he didn't want to fight, you sure sound like you do. I said you killed a part of me when you left and I am trying to get back to me. He said well I am too. Really, how did part of you die?
I asked him not to call or e-mail me. I just don't need it. I did tell him that I was upset about the B that I was going in to resign papers for. He said his was really easy piece, of cake. Well goody for you. I told him I was stressed and don't need to think about what he is asking me right now because this isn't about him anymore.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I see that!! Part of me is still saying if I were nice I would let him have this extra time but geez...HE did this. These are his choices and he feels he made a mistake and wants to change stuff, just so HE can be happy.
I did tell him you didn't care what anyone else thought or wanted when you did this but you want me to think about YOU now??? This is about the kids and what they want. If D8 wants to spend the night I guess I will let her but this will no way be a regular event and never a forced issue. Once and a while ok. I haven't told him that. I want to talk with d8 first.
Then the snake that he is says there is no need to get the Lawyers/court involved as long as we both agree and no one tattles. WTH??
No wonder today is just a little crazy!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well, your kids come first. Only YOU know what is best. You have something already set with the kids' schedule. Do you believe that is the best for them right now? You have the court behind you in keeping them in this schedule so if that is the best for them, then stick to it. If not, then you get to make that call.
I talked to D8 about it and she said she didn't know. I guess Daddy had told her I said it was okay. WTF!! I had emailed him back and said that I appreciated him trying to listen to the kids and that I am not perfect as a parent but I am trying. I said right now I was at work and getting ready to see the B lawyer and I didn't need to be thinking about this at work but I would talk to D8 when I got home.
I don't know where he gets this stuff from. When I got home she said she didn't know if she wanted to go but he hopped in and said that she could spend the night tomorrow. I quickly added that this was not anything that was going to happen on a regular basis.
I see already that he is going to try and push this and if he tries to go around me again the answer will be NO.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I guess discuss with your kids and see what D8 really wants? Kids come first. But I also think if you don't stick to the schedule already set up, I mean at least roughly, I do switch Frid. and Sat. nights with H when he or I have stuff, but he just gets the 2 nights a week, and prob. stick to that.
I think consistency is good for kids, and it seems like this could be a long-term ongoing problem if you are too loose with the schedule. I have to say I don't have that problem, so I know that's tough. (((((kat)))))) Oh, yeah, and I also don't like the kind of sneaky, underhanded way your H handled that!!!
Oh I forgot to say after I talked to B lawyer and my telling him how stressed I am, that Friday is the day. Have to spend as much of the money I have left in my checking account. The grocery store is going to LOVE me!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
