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How is the weekend shaping up, FLTC? When does D18 go back to school? I gather the issue with D16 staying with you is more about her sister than you. I am curious.....did your wife come pick up the car in the parking garage???

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Thanks. D18 does like to push buttons, and STBX is right at the edge of the cliff.

Another episode last night. D16 went to the gym. When she came out, the bumper of the legendary "SmarmybossprovidedJeep" was damaged. STBX flipped out! She immediately called me and rants "D16 needs a ride to therapy tomorrow". I unquestionably said yes. I didn't bite and ask "Where's the Jeep". STBX took the Jeep away from D16 and ranted about her "not being honest about what happened, and how she has been honest from the beginning with D16 about SmarmyLawyerBoss"....WTF???????????

She took the Jeep away, and then called me to tell me to take D16 to therapy. Another power play because "I'm an awful father". I CONINUE TO RESPOND TO NONE OF HER EMAILS WHERE SHE RANTS. ONLY THOSE INVOLVING ME PROVIDING HER WITH INFORMATION. NO SLAMS, DIGS, COMEBACKS. IT MUST BE DRIVING HER CRAZY AS THE MASTER CONTROL FREAK.


She then refused to accompany D16 to the police station to file a report. She said "You're a big girl". D16 called me and I thought STBX was being ridiculous, so I took D16 to the police station.

D16 then shared how Smarmy came to the house the other night and they all watched the movie "Sex in the City" together, and how she was uncomfortable. Nothing to add to that one.....

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Hey FL..

Did you ever find out why you're paying such an inordinately high percentage of your income to your wife, especially since she works? The idea is that BOTH parents have a place that's suitable for the children. Any patterns of payments you perform now may be seen as the norm when the final settlement draws near.

It is way out of whack. Ask your lawyer about the implications of your wife speaking directly to the mediator, her adulterous relationship with her boss, who is also an attorney. Make sure you lawyer has your back and that you are protected.

I talked to Donna over the weekend. We should meet for tea or whatever in the know Fairfield County-ites do.

*hugs*

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Gyps,

I began paying it because I gave her what I didn't need to barely survive. Now that I am back on my feet, I want to do more than survive. I NEVER planned on D18 living with me when she wasn't in school. She's 18, but no less expensive, and in many ways more expensive. I sent my attorney an email telling him point blank, I am tired of paying ehr 62% of my income, and want to stop. I want to give her more like 30-40%. She just bought S10 a new snowboarding helmet and goggles. I have a hard tie taking him to Mikey D's!

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Don't you just have to pay child support on the two kids?


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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...and isn't there a standard percentage for child support in your state? In my state it's only 20% for one child.

Is the current amount you're paying in writing or just what you've been doing???

I love how cool, calm, and collected you have become, FLTC!

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sandy, Mattie,

The amount I am paying is just what I decided on out of fear of the wrath of STBX. I would not pay for D18, but her living with me is an expense I never budgeted for. I got the green light from my attorney yesterday telling me since there is no court order, I can unilaterally reduce the amount of money I give her. She's able to buy the kids tons of Christmas presents, and I scrape by. D18 is on a pull out sofa bed, and S10 sleeps with me. NOT RIGHT!

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I have set learning more about finances as my goal for this year. Since financial stuff isn't your top priority maybe you'd be interested in the Suze Orman book, Action Plan for 2009. It's available on Oprah.com. (or proably easier to buy than to download the 200 pages).

You started thinking of yourself a bit in Iraq when you started your savings account. You can do it again! You'll get the wrath of your STBX no matter what you do, so you might as well put yourself at the top of your list for a change!!!!!

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not fair at all! I wouldn't give her one red cent more than you have to by state laws. Or at least make it so you are comfortable enough with the money YOU earned the hard way!


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
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survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
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FLTC.. I'll tell you what my L said about how much my H was giving me which was just about everything too. She said to stay doing that as long as I could stand it because it presented Status Quo.... meaning he was paying for my schooling and mortgage and everything and the judge would probably rule for a higher amount because he had been paying it for awhile...The longer the better. I personally thought it was unfair to the H but I dont' know if that's how it works where you live.

My H wanted me to finish school so I could make more money there for taking more burden later on and I would be more financially indepedent. I am still going back to school because I don't ever want to be caught with my pants down again...(being financially dependant on someone)


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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