It was spectacular. She is a wonderful woman. It doesn't hurt that we both went through the same thing. Her husband had an affiar with a co-worker and then asked for a divorce. She's been alone for 8 years, and has lost herself in school and work. She is an ER nurse who loves the adrenaline. I love that. We are going to NYC this week with our two D16 who were good friends in middle school and S10. Her suggestion! It has been great. She has told me she is very excited to have me in her life, and that when she saw me for the first time at the gym in October, she realized immediately why she moved back to the old town. Weird, but true. She told me on Christmas Eve that she would always protect my heart. Pretty sweet, huh? I looked up and saw her and thought "How did THIS happen.?" As you recall, I told you all that I thought about her a lot over the past two years, and I even told her that.
I see her with a clear conscience. I did everything I could and more to try and save my marriage. I was loyal to my own detriment. It got me nothing.
OK, you wrote "when she saw me for the first time at the gym in October, she realized immediately why she moved back to the old town. Weird, but true. She told me on Christmas Eve that she would always protect my heart. Pretty sweet, huh?" I'll say it, hate me if you must...be friggin careful here FLTC! It all seems very intense and a little too fast for my liking, as someone who is sitting in the background without any endorphines pumping (well, almost none!). Please take your time, OK?
Thanks. I get it. You've had some bad experiences and that has tempered you. I certainly understand your advice, and will be careful, but proceed on course. Thanks, Michelle. It is GAL on steroids.
Thanks. I get it. You've had some bad experiences and that has tempered you. I certainly understand your advice, and will be careful, but proceed on course. Thanks, Michelle. It is GAL on steroids.
FLTC, the worst experience I suffered was because I let my endorphines rule my brain! I convinced myself that even though it was a risk I could handle it. I didn't count on the hurt and pain I felt when my little dream world collapsed. Now, you are NOT in a situation like I was but you have convinced yourself that you are over your W, you aren't because that takes longer than a few months. I can hear those endorphines pumping in everything you write about this new lady and that's OK, it's an amazing feeling to be validated by a great lady, you and I have lived through years of being crapped on day in and day out so I'm with you here. My point is just NOT to let this R stop you from GALing or keep you from activities that you may already have established. Don't put all your confidence and available time into this woman right now. Go slow and make sure you aren't expecting more from her than she can really give. I'm tempered for a reason and I don't want you to learn as I did. Fair enough?
Years ago while I was severely depressed my friends and family would emphasize how much I had.. my children, my husband, my extended family, my friends.. everything I should be grateful for. Something to focus on while I was stuck in a well of darkness. My internal response was that they had no idea what I was going through.
With this divorce, they say the same thing.. and I do to. I focus on what I have, what I am grateful for.
Folks who have been where you are tell it like it is. But this is your ball of wax that you can shape into any form you want.
How goes the divorce process? Is it moving along faster now that you have someone in your life? Do you find you're letting go of the anger you felt at your wife so that you can close this deal? Have you consulted a lawyer so you know what the traditional settlement is?
Just as anger can cloud your vision in dealing with the divorce, so can lightning in a bottle. When you sign the papers, that's it... no changes. Make sure you know what you're agreeing to.. and that you are at peace.
Thanks, guys. We'll the wicked witch of the easat is still not done. I am spending this evening with D16, and she's going to NYC with me on Tuesday. Apparently, her bulimia is still an issue. STBX called this morning to talk to S10, and told me D16 "needs constant supervision", which I'm sure she does. She then adds "This is a terrible burden on me"! Mommy dearest. A burden to make sure your child is OK. I did not say, but of course felt like saying: "Hey bi&ch. This is what you signed us all up for". Had I been at home, this "terrible burden" would be shared, but of course, I wouldn't be able to meet her standards for any kind of "constant supervision".
Hi FLTC. The constant supervision from D16's mother may be needed, but I am sure it is a burden for your D16 as well. It is such a difficult disease! What do upi have planned? Have you seen any of the new movies?
Could she have meant to say this was a heavy weight on her shoulders as opposed to burden?
I was anorexic as a teenager.I'm sure it was a burden on my family.As in a heavy weight on their shoulders.It has to be frustrating to watch your child slowly starve herself.I'm not sure I could handle it as well as you have.
Later Friend Briget
The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck
Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
