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Aw shucks FL.

Thanks for metioning me. I want nothing but the best for you. No more or less.

I know exactly how you feel. I too met someone after my marriage failed who made me feel the way you feel. I know how special that is. AND it is special. So you go and feel special. We have such heartbreak that the special feelings we get from someone who understands our plight is really something that we never expected. So enjoy it.

Three of my kids were here tonight. I love those kids so much. But having someone to share my life is gravy. So go and share. And if I don't get back here before next week, FL I wish you a very merry Christmas. Nobody deserves that as much as you. Happy Holidays to you.

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Reading your thread is great for me.
Originally Posted By: FLTC
My STBX is WHACKED.

For one reason, my ex seems pretty tame so I feel blessed.

The second reason, I feel hopeful that someday I might meet someone special. Right now that seems so impossible. It is good to hear you sound so happy. I am pleased that this Christmas will probably be better than you ever dreamed. Enjoy the moment!

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FLTC, you wrote: "we've know each other for 20 years, and have always had fun. I know a lot about her already. The breaking point for me was in 2007, leaving for Iraq, my kids wrapped around me crying, my STBXW, DID NOT even say goodbye. She just sat in the car. THAT'S when I moved on. Another factor with "gym woman" is the mutual feeling of this. We spent a whole day just talking (and other stuff!) about where we were in life, and what we wanted and what was important. You're right, though, YOU NEVER KNOW, but my moving on, has been going on for a long time, even without finding someone else."
Now, as you know, during the last days of my M I met someone who "blew my socks off", yes we too sat and talked for hours and I thought that maybe despite all this Hell there really was a light at the end of the tunnel. I told myself that my M had been over for years and connecting with someone else was just the ticket, especially a real beauty with brains and a load of empathy. It made me realize what it was like to spend time with a woman who actually enjoyed talking with me! She listened to me, cried for me and then shared her story just to show me that "no matter how bad it gets, it will always get better". I was sure that eventually we would be an item. Everyone else on the planet thought we'd end up together, even my STBX who said "why don't you two cut the crap and start dating like normal people, you're not just coffee pals"! Now, that all said, I put myself in a situation that is certainly different than you have and also dug my own grave BUT when my friend ditched my ass without warning I was pretty unhinged about it. I was still nursing my wounds from a 17 year M that went down the toilet, I was hurting and was in no place to handle another rejection no matter how reasonable and understandable it may have been. Don't overestimate your healing right now, newly separated guys on this board are notorious for seeing reality a little differently than it really is. We want so badly to be validated, to feel like men again that we convince ourselves that we are ready to move on. I've seen it over and over again and I include myself in that observation. The more you share and connect the more vulnerable you are. I'm not saying don't do it, I hate to always sound like the wet blanket but just be real careful and don't overestimate what you can handle right now, OK? Otherwise, have a great time! \:\)


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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Originally Posted By: FLTC
cf,

Welcome back! Dam*, I knew when I listed all those who responded to me, I'd leave someone out. Sorry! ...


Hey buddy no need to apologize. I should apologize to plenty of folks here because I just disappeared for a good while. But I needed to go focus on me and all too often hanging around too much kept me from moving forward in a way I needed. So I had to step back from the forums for a while.

Now back to subject at hand, your friends here want to help make sure you don't rebound and actually take a step or two backwards. If you haven't read this thread. Lots of good advice and insight here.

I will also offer this advice. If it is a rebound relationship, it's best to recognize it early on then use it as a step in the right direction for you both. Take it slow, take it easy, be sure to maintain your own life and don't get physical because that just muddies up the water WAY TO MUCH. No need to go play in minefields when you don't have to. Lastly, enjoy each moment first and don't pressure yourself or her about the future.


If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa

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Merry Christmas, FLTC! Hope you're having a blast!!! We just want to make sure you protect your heart!!!

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Thanks. S10 went with me to meet "gym woman" (I feel bad calling her that, but how else do you respond?). We had a great time! She came with me today when I addressed a local business group about my Iraq experience, and she told me she loved every minute of it. Her middle daughter made sure that she invited me to a party involving the parents at her private HS yesterday, which I went to. Gym Woman assured me her D16 had never asked any one to do this before, so it's all good. Our Ds18 and Ds16 know each other and like each other. They went to school together. She told me that if I had left my STBXW, she probably would have never dated me, based on what happened to her.

Have faith DBers! I NEVER expected to be happy this Christmas. It literally fell out of the sky when I least expected it. Go back and read how I met htis woman, and all the shi* that had to fall into place for it to happen. Read the book "The Secret".....think WAY positive. You WILL all find your own "Lightning in a Bottle"

Last edited by FLTC; 12/24/08 04:27 AM.
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F, it has been quite over here, but I see that you have been busy, in a positive way \:\) I do hope that you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Remember to live in the moment and not get too far ahead of yourself.

We love ya!
--D

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I'm so happy to see you happy, FTLC.

Merry Christmas.

poet

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Thanks, poet, Donna, Mattie and cf,

Things are really going well. She is joining me tonight for dinner. She has her kids tomorrow and I have mine. It is indeed a GREAT Christmas. The Lord does work in strange ways!

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Hope dinner was grand and you both had a very Merry Christmas!


Michelle - Proud DR Rockette
S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09
http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
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