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A Message from Michele
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Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Puppy Dog Tails] #1678058
12/21/08 01:17 AM
12/21/08 01:17 AM
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karen43 Offline
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Quote:
But she must have some carefree-single lifestyle fantasy in her head right now, and it's put her in a good mood, which makes me 1/3 sad and 2/3 ANGRY.
But eventually everyone has to encounter reality don't they? I know when H moved out that day he was the happiest I'd seen him in a while, and then I really haven't seen him seem happy since that day. He still seems messed up to me.


Quote:
My "life" is going to SUCK financially. If I could afford to get my own place, and fix it up the way I always wanted (we said when we moved into this house, with its big game room upstairs, that I would FINALLY get that pool table I've always wanted .... yeah, right...), then I might be able to get into this.

Me too. But I'm hoping the next little place I get will be "transitional" and maybe in a few years I can upgrade; something to work towards anyway.


Quote:
NOT very attractive, and NOT where I wanted to be at this stage in my life.

I should have done this a long time ago; at least I'd be further along by now.
Of course, I always wanted to grow old with H can't remember why exactly, but I did. I've thought that too. It would have been better if we never married, or this had happened 10 years earlier. But I mean at least it didn't happen in 10 or 15 years when I'm almost ready to retire or whatever. We still can meet someone and have a good long life with them...and we're kind of the perfect age now really. Still young enough to have fun, but mature enough that we don't have too much fun??? Karen


Me 53
D18, S24
Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Puppy Dog Tails] #1678061
12/21/08 01:20 AM
12/21/08 01:20 AM
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Posts: 610
kansas
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yenko69 Offline
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Puppy,

Sorry to hear the turn of events in your life. You have helped so many people on here, me included. Thanks for all your advice. You are a great guy and will make a appreciative woman really happy someday. Take care of yourself and my prayers are with you.


A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1554666
Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Puppy Dog Tails] #1678064
12/21/08 01:29 AM
12/21/08 01:29 AM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 550
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Silver Fox Offline
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Thanks Puppy for your support on my thread. I've been meaning to post to you - so sorry for what you're going through.

I've learned so much from you and you seem like a really neat guy. Heck, I would even go out with you, but wait, I'm married, and that would be WRONG wouldn't it! \:D


Me 56
H 47
Married 21 years
No children
Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself".
Ow Bomb 8/07
H filed 6/08
D final 2/05/10




Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Silver Fox] #1678245
12/21/08 01:23 PM
12/21/08 01:23 PM
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Posts: 1,628
Ohio
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Hope4us Offline
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Pup, Haven't had a chance to post, but wanted to say THANK YOU for all your support, both for me and everyone here.

I know there are times you've been frustrated with me and my somewhat less than firm stands (except way back in Feb/Mar), but we each have to live out our sitch's our own way.

I understand completely when you talk about the financial situation sucking. IF my W and I end up splitting, my standard of living will go WAY down. But ya know what? I grew up having nothing and early in our marriage we had nothing and those were the happiest times of my life. Early in our marriage, W and I took a trip to the Smoky Mtn's camping on $40. Yep, three nights camping on $40. And we had a BLAST. Cooked all our meals on a Coleman stove. Sat around the campfire drinking some beer we brought with us, marveling at the stars and talking about our future.

I think back to when I was young and the thing I remember most about Christmas/Thanksgiving was that my dad would take my brothers and me hunting in the morning, we'd return around lunch and mom would have cooked a big meal and we'd sit down as a FAMILY and eat, laugh and LOVE. I can remember only one Christmas present I got when I was young and that was because it was the best present EVER. A rubber ball. Yep, that's it. We were so poor that that was the only present I got that year. But I spent countless hours throwing that ball off the garage wall, pretending I was going to be a MLB player. And life was GOOD.

I think about those times and those early in our marriage and I/we were HAPPY.

You will be too. Money isn't what makes us happy. It's family and friends and all the little things that don't cost a dime to do. Like spending a day just talking with your kids. Watching a movie together. Camping in a National Park for $7 a night while sitting by the fire KNOWING that life is good.

Honestly, some times I almost think I'd rather have it that way then to have a nice big house and all the CRAP that goes with it.

Thank you for being a friend. To me and everyone else here you help every day.

I know you've told me you pray a lot. Do you think when you get to talk to St Pete he's going to ask you how much money you made in your life? Nope, don't see that happening. I think we'll all get asked the question, "Were you loved and did YOU love"?

If you can answer those two questions with a YES, then that's all that really matters isn't it? And I think I can say for you, that yes, you are loved (everyone here loves you as well as your kids love you) and have loved (just the support you give everyone here is evidence of that).

I'd tell you to stay strong, but I know you will.

Take care.


Hope4us

Me - 49, W 49
S22 & S18
Dday 9/4/07
W claims NC 4/7/08
8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Hope4us] #1678258
12/21/08 02:23 PM
12/21/08 02:23 PM
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Puppy Dog Tails Offline OP
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Hope,

You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. THANK YOU.

Of course, you are right. My wife and I started out in a little 1120 sq. ft. house, and those WERE the happiest of times. Just days spent gardening together, or ML or hanging out. And when I was a kid, we were middle-class, but the memories are of our family camping trips, playing Nerf football with my little brother, or playing board games with my brothers and sister or friends.

Somewhere along the line, I've lost sight of all of that. That you for reminding me of what's TRULY important.

Last nite, all S12 wanted to do was play whiskey poker with me, and for me to teach him some magic tricks. He must have thanked me three or four times for playing with him.

Puppy


"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen






Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Puppy Dog Tails] #1678272
12/21/08 02:44 PM
12/21/08 02:44 PM
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Hope4us Offline
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Heck Pup. My W and I started out in a frickin mobile home. No offense to anyone who lives in one, but Taj Mahal it wasn't. But we were HAPPY.

Now we live in a great home on a hill with a great view, EXPENSIVE vacations mulitple times a year, shopping trip yesterday to pick up 4 frickin cheeseballs for our party and ended up spending close to $700.

Am I happier now than I was back then? Not by a long shot.

I wonder sometimes when you have less, if you aren't closer because you have to invent ways to have fun, and that's fun in itself. We still laugh and laugh about that $40 weekend. And I can honestly say, it was probably the BEST vacation we ever took together. The first time my mom, brothers and I went on a vacation, we went to Atlanta to visit some relatives for a week, on $100 bucks. That's it. We packed sandwiches in a cooler to save money. We skipped the motels with a pool because the ones without the pools were a couple bucks cheaper. But we had a BLAST! I remember us laughing because my one brother stuck his feet out the window and one of us said he was probably making the truck driver behind us sick to his stomach with feet smell. How much did that cost? NOTHING. But I remember it like it was yesterday. And that was 1966 and I was 5 years old.

Last night my kids and I shared a couple of looks during the party when W was talking about last Christmas. She was telling people stuff like there was nothing wrong. Frickin amazing. But you know what? It's brought my boys and I closer together. And if my W and I don't make it, the boys and I will be ok.

I suspect the same for you.

You're a good man Pup. You help so many others without asking anything in return. That's a REAL MAN.


Hope4us

Me - 49, W 49
S22 & S18
Dday 9/4/07
W claims NC 4/7/08
8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Hope4us] #1678299
12/21/08 03:42 PM
12/21/08 03:42 PM
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LL44 Offline
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You are a good man, Puppy, a very good man.

You will not be Costanza (or Kramer for that matter...."I'm out!" ;\) ) for very long. When you are ready for a relationship, physical and emotional, you will be snatched up. I am just sorry your wife isn't the one snatching you up anymore.

Her being happy-go-lucky? You know the drill. The relief they feel is false, but they don't see that.

I am sorry that you have to tell your children. That's the hardest part, and actually makes me the most upset when it comes to this divorce.

Take care.

Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: LL44] #1678317
12/21/08 04:28 PM
12/21/08 04:28 PM
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Puppy Dog Tails Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: lwb
You are a good man, Puppy, a very good man.

You will not be Costanza (or Kramer for that matter...."I'm out!" ;\) ) for very long. When you are ready for a relationship, physical and emotional, you will be snatched up. I am just sorry your wife isn't the one snatching you up anymore.

Her being happy-go-lucky? You know the drill. The relief they feel is false, but they don't see that.

I am sorry that you have to tell your children. That's the hardest part, and actually makes me the most upset when it comes to this divorce.

Take care.


LWB,

Thanks much -- your entire post makes a lot of sense. I DO know the drill, but it always still hurts when you're in it. I try to learn to laugh at it as best I can when I see the "St. S_____" behavior from the fetching Mrs. Puppy. (This morning she's scrubbing our floors, doing a TON of laundry, and cleaning the bathrooms ... she never does ANY of this / our house is a sty).

I really don't think I'll be LTRing anytime soon, if at all. But I'm really looking forward to some dates and just some good-old-fashioned AFFECTION.

Puppy


"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen






Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: Puppy Dog Tails] #1678339
12/21/08 06:13 PM
12/21/08 06:13 PM
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karen43 Offline
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Quote:
I try to learn to laugh at it as best I can when I see the "St. S_____" behavior from the fetching Mrs. Puppy. (This morning she's scrubbing our floors, doing a TON of laundry, and cleaning the bathrooms ... she never does ANY of this / our house is a sty).

I really don't think I'll be LTRing anytime soon, if at all. But I'm really looking forward to some dates and just some good-old-fashioned AFFECTION.

Puppy
Yeah, you know my H has been in "superDad" mode the past couple months. All of a sudden interested in the kids, wanting overnights with them, and being around way more than he ever was the past 15 years with the kids. I'm guessing 99.9% of this is motivated by the D and trying to look good to others. Not wanting to face that he's been an absent dad or whatever and admit that in court. What makes it easier for me is that I think his weird behavior will change after the D and he doesn't feel like he has to pretend or whatever they are doing.

Yeah, well, I'm not looking forward to dates at all!!! I haven't dated in about 23 years, and even then I was friends with my 1st boyfriend and H first, so it was no big deal. But yeah, affection sounds wonderful. I never thought I would missing hugging and hand-holding so much! Until you can't have them anymore (well I do with the kids you know but not the same). And all of it! I think I'm going to scare anyone I date, b/c I'm going to want to do so much PDA (private and public)!!! Karen


Me 53
D18, S24
Re: Even Puppies Need a Pat [Re: karen43] #1678344
12/21/08 06:20 PM
12/21/08 06:20 PM
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Puppy Dog Tails Offline OP
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I miss kissing the most. \:\(


"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen






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