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I need to just get this out somewhere and this is the only place I have that no one knows me, the real me, the face to face me. I don't want to hear anyone's thoughts, opinions or whatever else.

BF and I have a mutual friend. He was BF's friend and became one of my best friends. This is the same person that was our roommate for anyone following the story.
Well, they went Xmas shopping a couple weeks ago. best friend made 1 comment about BF that seemed off. Well, today i found out why.
best friend asked bf about getting me a ring for christmas. especially since bf has my engagement ring to use for $600 credit at sears. BF told best friend I don't deserve it. he immediately asked best friend not to say anything. he wasn't going to, then it started eating at him. he almost told me several times, but hesitated and today just let loose.
i have no words. i can't even look at bf.

my heart hurts.
everyone was right.
i've been so stupid.

again - i really don't want to hear anything. no feedback, encouragement, i told you so's or otherwise. i just needed to get this out


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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well...

i'm sad that you're sad.. but, watching you over the years, you are so strong that you can get past this... it's what you do, heck, it's what most of us here do.

hang in there... feel sad for a while, then shake it off and figure out what's next, okay, honey?

((((hugs))))

take care of you now!

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Thanks Frosty. I'm lucky to have loyal friends who love me, support me and want the best for me. Friends and family who would fight for me.

For one of the first times I can't find words to say. I'm THAT hurt. Even in my divorce I always had words, too many words in fact - thus my user name. But now, with him saying this... let's just say it will probably be put in some hole of my heart where my XH's words about not seeing me as mother of his children are.
And I know that I'll get to a place where I can talk about him saying this without getting choked up - that time just isn't now.

But sooner rather than later it has to be brought up somehow. I don't want him to feel betrayed by his friend, but I don't even think his friend cares.
Thing is, I knew something was up - I knew something was said on their shopping trip that triggered something. Because his friend has had a different attitude towards BF and because he mentioned something about BF being selfish or something to that effect. I figured it was because BF bought himself something or didn't want to spend X amount of dollars. But now I know. I understand all too clearly...because somehow even though I've cooked,cleaned, laughed, cried, advised, gone for broke for BF he thinks I don't deserve a ring.
He doesn't deserve me, he doesn't deserve the THOUGHT of putting a ring on my finger.

I'm fighting the revenge urge that is running through me, trying to find someway to hurt him just as deeply. But I know I won't. I can't do that do someone.
For now, I'll just ignore him as much as possible until I can formulate an educated, civilized way to talk to him, if there is any. And in the mean time I have to put on an act so that no one around me knows anything is wrong.

Anyways - focusing on good instead of bad, I am spending time seeing my nephew this weekend!!! Saturday and Sunday \:\)


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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TMW the best revenge would be finally getting on with your life and being happy! Get rid of him already... he is a drain on you. You are so much more than him! Please please please kick him to the curb! Do not be living my life in another 20 years... I beg of you.


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well, i think it's great that you don't know what to say and haven't said anything... i don't think it deserves a response. what you said is the truth... you have given, he has taken, now he can't even give you that...

in truth, i have at least one daughter that is a giver. she had a boyfriend that was a taker in high school. for whatever reason, it's attractive and i have lived some of that. but, hopefully, you will find someone that appreciates your giving and not just let it get you. i read your posts about how resourceful you are and how even your xh's family still loves you, not to mention all your friends, even the guy that told you this. this bf has been riding on your coattails.

i think you thought you "needed" (and yes, you love him) for a while, but i read too much strength in these last two posts. i feel sorry for him that the just doesn't know what he "had"... well, wait, not too sorry, stupidity is just that.

the really good thing is that you can still get away before it's too late. the worst case would be for him to get anxious and give you a ring, just because you want one. please don't get caught in that trap.

uou only have one life, find that guy that sees the real you and can't wait to spend his life with you. the one that knows that you are going to be a great mom. these last two guys just aren't worth it.

take care and post here for support... ((((hugs))))

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Thanks, really - thanks.

It's funny you said that about stupidity Frosty. We were watching the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" a couple days ago and there is a scene with her and her exboyfriend talking about their relationship and she tells him - she tried EVERYTHING and he was too stupid to notice.
Aaaaa the irony.

Still haven't said anything. 1 word answers to questions and such. Gearing up i guess


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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TMW,

This is a war against an adversary. You don't need revenge, but you need what's fair. Before you say anything, try to get as much as you are owed from him. If not in cash, then somehow. and then just tell him to get lost.

Yes, the pain will be tremendous. But you live and not only that but you will thrive.

TMW, I have seen you win so many contests, be such a great supporter, get yourself into job after promotion after paying off a debt, to a job. You are strong and a hard worker.
The only thing that holds you back is this loser.

Don't take this personal, him saying that. He's just a LOSER.
He's a user. He would use anyone who would let him. Cut him out and move forward.
Good days are on their way. Pick out your inspirational songs - I know you love music and get on with it!

God has decided you have had enough! God doesn't want you to marry this user that is why you have been told this great information! You have been lucky once again. You have just saved yourself years of heartache and trouble.

Good RIDDANCE!

I guess those are my thoughts and opinions that you said you didn't want to hear...hm...sorry about that. Just trying to give you a spoon full of sugar...a spoon full of hope...a spoon full of encouragement. I wish you could see yourself as strong and amazing as I see you.

;\)

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TMW

Just checking up on you. I know you love holidays. I hope you are spending time with your beautiful new niece/nephew!

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Thanks -holidays were fun. Things with BF are just sort of there. Not talking much, we celebrated Xmas and he was very nice.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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Throw him out. Geez.

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