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thats where i live it feels like, i saw it on tv last nite, and man, thats where I live alright! its cold again, least its not snowing. freezing rain tomorrow I think. yuck. means we should have a white christmas for sure.

smw my sis lol, you crack me up! i said that to my D16 yesterday!! tomato sure got you on that, make sure you read what he said hehehe.

sandi, babygirl is the nickname my H gave me when we first got together, and one year on xmas, he did the star registry and had one named that for me. it was awesome. and the last month i have never felt more literally like a babygirl than i have. I have not been outside since sunday, will have to brave it up real soon tho, HAVE to get shopping done.

Crissy, the after xmas comment, H and I sat down and went thru EVERYthing that I have recieved over the past year, and saw all the comments made, and how so many of them WERE the truth, and that is one that was in one of the messages. it just makes me think, ya know? and yes, on my blog, she used her maiden name, if i knew that about her, i would have told one of you that i talk to regularly about it, as i do when i find out anything lol!

ok onto last nite. H had to work late, so i had timed dinner down to the perfect time, to have it out of the oven as he walked in the door. he walks in and says wow that looks great, but i may have to wait to eat it. ok, i say why? off he goes, well see S has the runs bad, and OW doesnt have any babywipes. ok and this is your problem why? she was out and about earlier, she lives a mile from the dang walmart!! we live about 12!! its late and we had waited to eat dinner for him! he went on and gave me the details about it she was nervous about maybe having to take him to the er. i walked into my bedroom for a moment, kicked my boots and walked back out and said, ok, this is what YOU are going to do, you are going to call her right now right here, and TELL her, you and D16 will go pick them up from the store and bring them. then i turned the oven down to warm and put dinner back in. he said he was sorry, and said thank you. I said this isnt about you, or ow, its about your S and his bad bottom. and dont you DARE leave D out in the cold while you see your S. off they go. ok you know I was frustrated, but hid it from H. he has said many times she jumps the gun on health things. so what did I do? I called her. yep I did, told her I was sorry S was sick, and that I had worked in peds for 7 years for our kids pediatric dr (her boys go there too) and asked if I could help in any way. she actually TALKED to me no bad tone from either of us, then I called H and told him I had called her and he needed to pick up more than babywipes, and gave him a few more things to get. he sounded really mad at first, and i said in my best calm voice, I said H, I cant do anything about this whole sitch, I get left out of his life, but this is about S, and this is something that I am dang good with, and very smart about. and he needs whats on that list, or he will become dehyrdated and sicker. (which I told her also) i added unless he wantd to get up in a few hours to have to go back and get it then lol. he said oh well thank you then i guess. i said very welcome.
I was really nervous of course for him to get home, and find out how mad he was going to be at me. but he didnt say anything about it. I didnt do it to make either of them upset or mad, and i know I did the right thing, she didnt know alot of what we talked about. and my intention was only for the well being of thier S.
D told me when H was out with the dogs, she memorized the address lol. and that they talked on the drive home. and she told him in an answer to something he had said, that she was glad she finally got to meet him, she hoped it wouldnt be a one time thing.
so that was my night. and i actually slept last nite!!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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WOW {{{BG}}} YOU are a strong woman my friend!

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hmmmmmmmmmmmmm maybe more stupid than strong lol!!! but I do feel good about being the bigger person last nite.


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you did great. and i'm glad he let you help. don't worry about him being mad. he was probably more worried about what she would say to him about it than anything else. Lot's of work to do my friend. take it day by day.

Love you.


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Quote:
then i turned the oven down to warm and put dinner back in.


Well that's the only part of that I disagreed with... ;\) I'da had my dinner nice and fresh. lol


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LOL breakaway!!! seriously? i would have expected to be reemed by someone for sure. well, it was only dinner. it could wait a bit. also made sure he hurried up, as he knew i wouldnt eat without him.


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Wow, Wow, Wow!!!! And, that's all I can say.

I love you, BG!!!!

Amy


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BG, that was VERY big of you for sure. You definately came out the bigger/better person for that!

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Originally Posted By: Babygirl
LOL breakaway!!! seriously? i would have expected to be reemed by someone for sure. well, it was only dinner. it could wait a bit.


Oh no no no no.....he can wait.

Quote:
also made sure he hurried up, as he knew i wouldnt eat without him.


Wrong!!! Consider yourself reamed then...LOL

When he got back I'd have had my feet up on the couch, wiping my lips, and letting him know it was his turn to do the dishes, LOL.

I'm also a big talker... ;\)


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wow girl. calling her up to give her advice?? that would take some guts. I'm not sure that I would have done that, but if God told us to kill our enemies with kindness, then your sure doing a good job.

on your comment "ok you know I was frustrated, but hid it from H."

you did not hide that from H silly! BUT, what was good though, is that H didn't get mad, and he apologized and actually did what you told him to do. That is the important part, is figuring out if what you do, gets you what you are wanting.


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DB 5/2006
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well the dinner thing, i had other plans for dinner. he had an awful day at work, not home wrecking whore related, and did all my outside animal and wood chores before going to work because of the cold and snow and said something about how good something sounded. so i made it. when he called D answered the phone, and he left earlier than he planned cause he was looking fwd to dinner so much. D and her friends were outside putting up sleds when he pulled in and the phone rang. D said he looked to cry. I guess i felt like, if I am really trying to prove that I want this marriage, even with the S, that I had to show him I wouldnt punish him for normal things that are going to come up S related. thats why i waited. PLUS if i said i had already eaten, he probably wouldnt have believed me. he is shoving food at me constantly as my weight dropped again.
THAT said. the ow so played him. i mean, come on, she has a walmart a mile away, a dillons half a mile away, she could have done it herself, instead of waiting all the time it took H to drive and get it done. last nite, I won. and i made it a no fight win. i didnt like it, but i was big. finally. i proved myself. to them both, and S was a happy healthier camper lol!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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YOU are an amazing woman, [[[[[[BG]]]]]]!!


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Okay okay okay...BG, you win. It was nice of you to wait on dinner.

I think the good thing about what you did vis a vis the baby...is it showed OW that you know everything that's going on, if she calls H with baby problems, you are right there in the big ole middle of the sitch, and know more than EITHER of them about how to take care of one. So it sort of takes her edge away there. If she thought she was in control of the situation that way...she found out she wasn't last night. ;\)

And S got properly taken care of so that's important too.

Maybe buy her a case of baby wipes and then she won't run out at dinner time again... \:\/


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Hey bg \:\)

Peace to you.


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Babygirl you are awesome. Even through the pain you came through, loud and clear, the better woman.


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S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
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Hi Sis

You are smiling, ...right?

many ((( hugs )))!


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Morning to you BG! Hope you have a nice day!


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Bg are you there

I'm gonna call soon


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morning all, cold with ice fog or let me share what i learned today, hoarfrost, or whorefrost lmao! thanks le, that made my whole day! Kel you braved to talk to me right after waking up, that takes a brave woman lol!

sad nite last nite. I was hit with the realization of the blame my H put on me for the reason of the A, is exactly what he is doing to me right now. oh buts its ok for him to be that way? i realize he is just making excuses, but still. it really hurts. and he is so caught up in is the grass going to be so much greener over there.......well, I cant sleep with a man who constantly waivers like that. it hurts to bad.


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Bg, you are nails! Great job on being the bigger person. Proud of you!


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Morning, you!!! Hope you are doing okay. And, you know, sleeping with him or not has always been your choice to make! You hang tough...still not too late to hop on a plane...let me know if you want me to wait for you at the airport!!!

Love you!
Amy


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thanks le, sure dont feel like i am that strong, maybe that stubborn and insane lol! i am still laughing at what you taught me this morning!

amy, H and i just got thru fighting about that exact thing! He wants me to! he is mad I am not! and why? cause he doesnt get his break away from me, to do what he wants to with no boundaries while I would be gone, and he says that is why i am not going. laura and i had plans in place for that for me. UH HELLO? money worked, kids were busy but it was gonna work, I was gonna get to see my sis's and get away from this snow! and what puts the nail in I cant go? this lupus flare i am in. its really effecting me, especially cognitively. I hate talking out loud, and cant even drive myself right now. my dr f who has been with me for over 17 years is the one who says as much as i need a break, this break is not the one for me to have. So now after all the times he isnt involved with my health, he actually wants to go to the dr, so he can argue them into making it ok. I have to have a card thing to carry which i dont have for me to get thru airport security, from all my hardware in my bionic shoulder, they give it to me. I tried talkin to them this morning. and as much as i want to go, i have to listen to Dr F. all she is gonna do is bash him for making me have so much stress. if it had just been the baby bomb, and not the ones after that, I probably wouldnt be in a flare, or it wouldnt be this bad. he wants involved finally with my drs for his benefit of a free weekend. not seeing the benefits that i had to see of me not going for my health. in all honesty, I could have gone to be with ya'll and come home and been strong enuff to divorce him. THAT is how I felt about this trip, aside from the bonding fun with ya'll and the break from the land of misfit toys. and i get punished again, for the flare, which HE caused. I am mad!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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To call your husband selfish would be an insult to selfish people.


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thanks breakaway. that is the reason he was such a jerk last nite. he is mad at ME for this. seriously, I didnt do this crap! I have half a notion to let him plead to my drs, and watch them eat his arse up!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Now I know why you didn't answer the phone. Ok. Let him be mad, let the doctors tell him what they need to and then after the new year, not until sping, I will make sure you get out of there for a few days. We will start planning cuz baby, I need a break too. And I drive! Except over bridges Sorry. LOL


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hey girl if you call, leave a message when you do. i dont know otherwise who called.
i need that break. omg Kel that makes everything from last nite, make total sense! dont you think?


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Yes it sort of does make sense. I won't tell you how stupid i think he is. could have just gone with it and you never would have been wiser.


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thats what makes me so angry, let me hurt once, not like a zillion times. AND dont lie to protect me to only let HER tell me the truth to just hurt me!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
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BG...I think I might be missing something. But, I just want to say that visit with us or not, you are already strong enough to do what you have to do. You are amazing!!! Decide and move forward. Stop wasting energy on those that don't deserve it...save some for me. Cause you can always come down and teach me to cook whenever you want!

Hugs and love to you!!!
Amy


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ok amy you can be in on the weekend too. Actually about half way between me and BG.

Yes Amy is right. You know what you have to do so now you have to decide. Save your energy for your health. And your kids.


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Thanks, Kel! BTW, I drive even over bridges...just not in the snow!!! But, since we are waiting a few months...that shouldn't be a problem!


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this hurts you guys. the reality of my life. WHY couldnt he just hurt me once and let me go, why do i have to go over and over? like i dont know the truth? i have said this to kel so many times, he wants me to make him leave. thats why he does this. the way our weather is here, i have now talkd to all my kids. yes i told the younger two, like he would? and they want me to fight, yet i fear he wants banishment. and to make it my choice. PDT fought. YES he didnt win, but he fought. and i am so flippen tired of being last. of my kids being last. where the hell are his balls that he can knock her up TWICE with, but will lie to my fact with?


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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BG...what's he lied about now? Is there something new, or are we still dealing with the same stuff?


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Originally Posted By: Babygirl
this hurts you guys. the reality of my life. WHY couldnt he just hurt me once and let me go, why do i have to go over and over? like i dont know the truth? i have said this to kel so many times, he wants me to make him leave. thats why he does this. the way our weather is here, i have now talkd to all my kids. yes i told the younger two, like he would? and they want me to fight, yet i fear he wants banishment. and to make it my choice. PDT fought. YES he didnt win, but he fought. and i am so flippen tired of being last. of my kids being last. where the hell are his balls that he can knock her up TWICE with, but will lie to my fact with?


bg. You are super! Fight what ever battles you want to fight and when you are not then hit relax mode and try like hell to completely disengage. Go 'joy hunting' as it were. Start with the Lord who is your rock and will bring you a kind of joy you will find nowhere else. Then mix in other things that will cause you to smile. I am sure you have a pretty smile, don't let it allude you. Relax, breath and cherish what God gives you by His grace and mercy.

He gave me a friendship with you and vice-versa and I am glad for it \:\) !

Peace & love of Christ,

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T- minus 7 days til we mark the glory of the birth of our Lord and Savior. *SMILING ear 2 ear*


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LoL tomato, shhhhhhhhhhhhhh on the christmas countdown. thank you for reminding me where to go.

Amy, WHaT hasnt he lied about? every word out of his mouth since he emailed me the bomb has been a lie. EXCEPT he loves her and i am making him choose...............


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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On what planet would he not have to choose?

Ask him that.


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I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no

I hate myself for losing you
(I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything you said
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every day you shout
"Don't ever bring him back again?"
I hate myself for loving you


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Bg--What significance do these lyrics hold?


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Bomb 2 7/11/08
Bomb 3 7/31/08
W Filed 8/1/08
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BG..Knock her up twice..did I totally miss something?

Tawnya


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you sure did ..

as you can see ..i am answering for her ..I am her spokesperson, afterall she is a star to us.

first one was terminated (for lack of a better language), then son Tawnya.

maybe that makes it slightly easier for bg ..me the spokesperson


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Originally Posted By: Little Engine
Bg--What significance do these lyrics hold?


I nearly echo this question from LE. Except I sorta half know what they mean to you. You are letting the devil tear into you and pull you down. For short spurts that's ok. With emphasis on the short ..make that very short spurts part.

Ok, now time to end that grip of bluesyness. The Lord your God is right over you with arm extended to pull to out of your lil abyss. He will remain there just waiting for you to meet Him.

"And His kingdom shall have no end ...."


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Oh no Babygirl. Don't read that poem.....please. It is sooo depressing. Don't hate yourself like the poem says. Don't blame yourself like it says. Don't do any of that stuff like it says.

Who are you going to believe? All of us here that have learned to love you for who you are or some "poem" that would nearly kill somebody to read it.....BTW I pray to God you did not write that b/c if you did.....I am very worried and afraid. You listen to us, those that love you and tell you the truth. Don't listen to the lies....don't read the lies. Stay away from that.

You are sick and this weather is so hard on you. You have tried to keep us all in good humor, but now you need us. So, lean on us. Vent on us, get mad as hell if you need to....but don't listen to him or that poem or anything else like that, sweetie. It is bad for you, honey. It is not what you need to read or listen to or be writing things like that yourself. Please tell me that you are not that person in that poem, b/c I will fight you on that point sweetheart! You are not her! Don't do that to yourself.

Oh yeah, I know I am trying to sound real tough here, huh? But the truth is, my heart hurts b/c I know you are feeling so tired, so weary, and so fragile. You can't carry this alone. You know what to do. You are smart. Too smart to let this get the best of someone who has the right stuff like you do. For a girl that has helped so many on this board and has lifted so many others......and especially given more hugs than any human being I have ever known.......don't you think you deserve that too?

Please talk to us and let us be here from you. We love you Babygirl. I can't tell you enough how special everyone thinks you are. I have read that all over this board. You have touched many, many people. That says a lot about you as far as I am concerned.

As for Puppy.... Man, we all just want to cry our hearts out don't we? But you know him......and he is okay. He didn't want to lead the people on by them thinking his M was surviving when the truth was that the attraction was gone. I think he discovered that he had detached himself to the point that he had lost his attraction for his W and if I remember correctly, he said he had even prayed that if she could not feel that for him, that God would take Puppy's attraction for his wife away. So, now, I think he will have peace even though they will get a D. That is possible, and several are in the process of finding that out. But that is not to say it doesn't have its painful moments, for sure. He did what he knew was right. I still see him as a success story. The M did not make it....but Puppy Dog Tails did make it. That is the difference and that is what I am believing more and more that this is what this board is about. Survival. He first said that he was going to take some time off, but I think so many protested that we about have him talked him into staying. As I tried to explain to him, it isn't whether his M survived or not, it is that he knows what works and what doesn't work and that is what the people need to know. Don't let that stitch get you down, Babygirl. He will be okay. Pup is a tough old dog, in spite of his name!

Okay, I will hush. But that poem scared me. Please let us hear from you. Please don't fold on us. We need you and most of all we still want to keep you around us.

You are loved, sweetie.

Sandi


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Sandi,

First I would like to say to you that yes SURVIVAL is exactly what this board is about. There are many of us who would not be anywhere near where we are without it. I understand Puppy's peace and BG's song lyrics. It is actually as song by Kelly Clarkson. And unfortunately Bg has shared that that is exactly how she feels.

She is strong and she will survive all of this and it will be because of the love and support she has found here. She knows and appreciates all of that.


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I want to share with everyone, that I spoke with BG about min ago and she is ok, but in Kansas without power. Hopefully not for too long, but it is just a wait and see thing from what she says.

I will check on her tomorrow if she hasn't posted by then and keep everyone up to date.

And Tomato, she will appreciate you speaking for her.


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kelaaron, thank you so much for telling us that. It shows you how little I listen to modern songs. I wasn't sure where she got the words, but I felt like she was seeing herself in that and it worried me.

I take it that you see her often. I don't know the connection between the two of you......I will try to catch up on some things when I get time. I have actually just started posting more one on one with BG, but I have read things she would say on other people's thread and she always is so loving and kind.

It must be awful to be without power and it so cold, b/c I know the cold wheather hurts her so badly. When you check on her, please give her my love and tell her that she is on my heart big time. I realize the emotional pain she feels is great and all the other stuff just adds to the stress. I wished I could do something to help, but my greatest resouce is God, and I have already been talking to Him about my girls, but BG......well, I was concerned when I read that song and she didn't say anymore.

So, please let us hear how she is doing. I appreciate it.

Sandi


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Tomato..gotcha..thank you for that clarification..I am sure I missed reading that somewhere \:\)

Kel..thanks for letting us know about BG..let her know we are thinking of her and sending her warm thoughts \:\)

Tawnya


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morning all. got power back late last nite, then had to go out and prime the well, need to have someone out to see why its losing its prime! came in and fell asleep in the chair by the fire.
its sunny today, yay. gonna get real cold tomorrow again. Tomato thank you for being my spokesman!! lol tawnya, wish I had missed that part of my own life too.
thank you kel for letting them know i was ok, just no power. and Sandi, thanks for adopting me, I could feel your mommy love last nite.
YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNN time for another cup of coffee!


M 36
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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
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I will tell her when I call in a bit. No we actually live far apart but we have been talking a lot lately on phone. It is ok to be scared, she scared me with it too and our friend LE actually is the one who told me where those words came from.

Keep posting and praying. It is so good for her and all of us to see it and know we aren't alone through all of this.


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forgot to mention, my step mom called and woke me up early this morning, asking if I could watch my little brother while they shopped. I figured he was already out of school for xmas break. they get here, and guess what? He has the flu!! OHHHHH that made me mad! they only time I really get to see them, or my dad is when SHE needs something. and the last thing I need right now is to get the flu. he better not puke while he is here, I cant deal with that!
didnt realize the pics of H's Son he finally dug out of hiding at work, were on the table. and she proceeds to lecture me about how that will NEVER be her grandson. I gave my dad a look that he best get her outta here like NOW! dont need her negative crap at all!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Originally Posted By: Babygirl
forgot to mention, my step mom called and woke me up early this morning, asking if I could watch my little brother while they shopped. I figured he was already out of school for xmas break. they get here, and guess what? He has the flu!! OHHHHH that made me mad! they only time I really get to see them, or my dad is when SHE needs something. and the last thing I need right now is to get the flu. he better not puke while he is here, I cant deal with that!
didnt realize the pics of H's Son he finally dug out of hiding at work, were on the table. and she proceeds to lecture me about how that will NEVER be her grandson. I gave my dad a look that he best get her outta here like NOW! dont need her negative crap at all!


Wow, some people really know how to spread around some sunshine. Are you sure these aren't H's relatives? ;\)

My prescription for you today is to wear cool boots. Works for me...and I think you need to listen to the Kelly with attitude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI7YKUnrJSA

(I hope this doesn't come across as negative...just a venting song...;))


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LOL breakaway! i got some cool boots (well my d's think so anyways) from my mom for xmas. maybe when i get out later, i will wear them.
sigh my daddy is great, she is younger than I and lets say has no tact lol!!
I love that song thanks for reminding me of it!! will blare it when little bro leaves. he is making me nervous fidgeting, I so cant clean up puke!
oh my little calf is coming today!! he is really special colored, like a deer almost. His big brother made me nervous during deer season, i was afraid he would get shot on accident! anyways, he will be my pet moo!!!!

Last edited by Babygirl; 12/19/08 05:33 PM.

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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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BG...Lord girl I don't know how you do it.

Originally Posted By: Babygirl
EXCEPT he loves her and i am making him choose...............


My response to this comes from one of my favorite Christmas books of ALL TIME. (Please insert Boris Karloff's voice here)

"They're just waking up, I know just what they'll do. Their mouths will hang open a minute or two and the Who's down in Whoville will all cry BOO HOO!"

You are making him choose? WTF? He created this situation, not you. Don't let him make this about you and you making him choose. Its about time he reclaimed his balls and started acting like a man. A man that has a W that is sick and being made sicker by the constant stress that he is placing her under.

You did a wonderful thing and gave him a priceless gift when you were a big enough woman to call her when the S was sick. You are an amazing person and such a better person then either your H or the OW, it radiates off of the page.

Please take care of yourself and worry about your health and getting yourself to a place of wellness and wholeness for YOUR beautiful children. Let H clean up or wallow in his mess on his own. Its what I finally have had to do. It sucks and I don't like it, but this back and forth and boo hoo, woe is me. Your mean because I can't have both of you. Its a lose/lose situation, blah, blah blah...is tiresome. I'm over it. Here, let me call 911 and have them send a Wambulance to pick up your sorry ass because you have to be an adult.

I'm just fed up with people who refuse to be responsible for the messes that they have made, not only in their own lives but the lives of those that didn't have a choice in it. They go merrily along, cutting a swath of devastation and then cry because they might have to take responsibility for it. It pisses me off.

Sorry for the TJ and the rant, but your health really worries me and he is just not getting it....

Love you sis, apparently the antibiotics have made me even shinier and happier than ususal...LOL.

Take care of you and I'm here if you need me.


M:39
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K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
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(((((BG))))

Hi sweetheart! Thanks for checking in on me. I am sending love to you....you sent me SNOW! We've got 8" and it's still coming!

Just want to get home safely, have a couple of beers and work on the tree.

Keep warm. I love you!


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Hey BG- the Sun in Kansas is beautiful today. I was really missing the sun! I know you were too. It makes the world seem like a better place anyway! I know it going to get cold tomorrow! Take care of yourself!


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hey, was tryin to tell you on the phone, I think you should quit worrying about what H is doing, and go on the darn trip. I think it would be really good for you. It would give you a good break from all the madness, and you'd be with people who love you and are fighting for the same things.

I know your dr said you shouldn't, but what would hurt? If you could get someone to take you to the airport and pick you up, and you didn't have to drive at all. I really think this would be great for you to do.

that's just my O.

I wish I could go!!!! \:\(


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EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
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Hey Sweetie, I am so glad to here something from you. Had me really, really concerned and I didn't know what was going on. Yeah, I do act like an ole mother hen and want to gather my chicks up under my wings. (BTW, I actually use to see that when I was a kid and would be at my grandparent's farm.....it was neat to watch that mother hen when a storm came or she thought those babies were in the path of danger....she could get every one of them up under those wings of hers.) Anyway, that's okay cause you know how I feel about you now. So, I am on that long, long list of people that care and love you. If love could heal what ales you......you would have a miracle b/c you are certainly loved by a lot of people around here.

I sure hope you get to feeling better real soon, Babygirl.

Love,
Sandi


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ahhhhhhh thanks sandi, i need to be the the chick under your wing, i like it there, its safe. didnt mean to make you worry. I am still laughing at sugar and spice up there, she sure says it like it is!

wish my coffee would hurry up and brew! S and I are waiting on it! the cold fronts on its way, ugh!!!!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Originally Posted By: Sugar and Spice
Here, let me call 911 and have them send a Wambulance to pick up your sorry ass because you have to be an adult.



ROTFL...


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omg i know! isnt that some funny chit?? well today should be interesting. have to get the kids completed on the telling of the S, please please pray


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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well H called, dont have the details, but i guess they have been arguing all morning because again, she has backed out of us seeing S this weekend.

anyone got some bail money and gas to come to ks and get me out? LOL!


M 36
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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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What is the status of the paternity test? Has that happened? I missed a bunch because of my own mess this week, but that will answer a bunch of questions and also give H the legal right to have unfettered access to S. She cannot do this if he is the legal father!


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Bomb 1 3/22/06
Bomb 2 7/11/08
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hey LE, check your email, I sent it to you.

H and OW are still battling. sigh, I so wanna battle, hmmm cant i pretty please? this is the part of being big that isnt fun lol!


M 36
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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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hey bg that email was adorable


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Hi kel

how are ya?


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hey Baby,

you know, I believe you definitely should NOT be in the fight. You just need to be the cheerleader. Most of the time, I think the man wants to fix things himself, and do it his way of course, and if you try to step in, it will just allow him to think that you feel he is incapable of fixing it, therefore instead of building him up, you end up tearing him down. I did this a lot with my H over the years. Now of course if your usually the one who does not try to take control of things, or tries to fix things, and it is a 180 for you, then I'd be for it... but I just know that you are the type to step in...so it would not be a 180. I think for you, the 180 is to step aside. right?

plus, it will sometimes feel relieving to let it go, and realize you don't have to take control of it.

Now, I do think that you can be creative to help guide your H, for instance on the paternity test.

so, are you getting thru the cold? it wasn't too aweful here today. I drove the kids to see xmas lights which was cool. woulda liked H to have gone, but he watched football of course...

and speaking of football! Go Steelers!!! boo Titans!


Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

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Hey Sis. Hope today was better than it sounds like it was.

Originally Posted By: Babygirl
well H called, dont have the details, but i guess they have been arguing all morning because again, she has backed out of us seeing S this weekend.


Get used to this I'm afraid...he is her bargaining chip. Emotional blackmail has been a very powerful tool so far. Its going to be a hard habit for her to break, if ever.
Don't get sucked in, just take care of you.

Glad I could make you laugh a little...


M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
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Morning Namesake,
I agree with the very good advice of everyone above. The OW will yo-yo all of you until you have some legal standing that says she can't. Encourage your H to start working on that.

Now, speaking of sports....did anyone watch the Spartans yesterday? Great basketball! Go green!!

Well, I have a Christmas celebration with my parents today. I have nothing ready, so I have to start doing something.

Everyone stay warm and safe. Keep breathing and let the Lord bring you peace.


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Hey BG- Well the Chiefs lose again! Glad I wasn't there this week. TOOOO DANG COLD!!!!! BRRRRR! I hope you are having a peaceful day today. Take care of yourself, and don't get dragged in anymore than you have to be!


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Ok lady, haven't heard from you. What's going on other than the normal stuff. Are you ready for Christmas?


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Ok lady, haven't heard from you. What's going on other than the normal stuff. Are you ready for Christmas?


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Ok lady, haven't heard from you. What's going on other than the normal stuff. Are you ready for Christmas?


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darn. well, at least they lost THIS game, it was probably a good wake-up call. we practically gave that game to them.

anyways, I'll be in town again! So maybe this time I'll get to see ya, we'll be there till new years, so I'll have lots more time...I think!?!

take care, see ya soon


Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
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lol kel, a 3 post? sorry i worried you, crissy, that will be great, probably will need you soon as xmas os over.
my M really may be over, tonite after filling in the rest of our kids, my kids, and h, went after she canceled our plans AGAIN and i had to be here alone, while they were all together.

that feeling, was worse than the bomb. happy family times, without me.


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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BG, I know how badly that must hurt. I cannot believe the evil in that woman. Take some comfort from the fact that it is not a true family, without you. She is keeping you out because she is afraid of you. Your position is the one of true love and commitment. Hers on the other hand, is only scheming and manipulation.

If you want some comfort, read what the Bible says about the adulteress. It clearly spells out how evil she is.

I know that you are keeping things together for all of the kids that are involved. Be good to yoursel and know that we love you.


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Yes BG be good to yourself. Only you know what you can truly handle.

I do agree with Hope that she is scheming and manipulating.

I only hit the damn button once. Sometimes I don't know what this thing does LOL


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Morning BG- Too cold out this morning, 2 here. This cold hurts. Take care of yourself. I am thinking about you. Sending prayers your way.


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yes, hope is totally right.

So did he take anyone with him? I know that you made him take your D with him the last time.

This is really so ridiculous. I think I will be praying for OW because she is very very very (I can't say very enough times) messed up. She is the source of all this now, before your H was in control, and granted he does have some control now, but he is allowing her all of it. She needs to be convicted of her sins or have some distraction in her life. That is what I will be praying. As well as a sickening in your H's stomach when he is with her. ;\)


Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
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EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
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Sorry, but I'm going to lay most of it back on him. The scheming OW is going entirely by what the H has told her. You don't think he's manipulated and lied and set himself up as the poor victim? Can you imagine the bullsh!t he's fed his "other family." I think the OW is awful too, BTW...but good ole H has been playing both sides against the middle this entire time and the only person he really feels sorry for is himself. I sometimes think the name of this website should be Narcissism Unveiled instead of DB.

((((Babygirl))))


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thanks all. ok hope i will have to read it. Crissy, it was my 3 kids and H, OW thier S and her S. oh and his stomach is sick because of all this STRESS, oh that was not the thing to say to me!!
Breakaway, yes my dear I total agree and I told him that last nite matter of fact! they are both liars!!


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Bg-have to say i agree with breakaway. This is on him and until he finds his balls, it isn't gonna change much.


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uh kel. she has his balls that is obvious lol!!


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Originally Posted By: Babygirl
uh kel. she has his balls that is obvious lol!!


UUHHHMMM I believe I made this comment couple weeks ago.

{{{{{BG}}}}}

Hope you are feeling better. We would have loved to have had you here with us, but I want you healthy more.

SMW


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Hello bg

You are the best. I like bein your friend and your bro'.

Feel good today and I hope it spreads into many more.

We're only days away from the birth that forever changed and continues to change the world!

Love ya Sis

T


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Yes she has his balls, and it looks like his brain too!

I did not mean to imply that he was without fault for what he is allowing to happen here, only that you cannot make any sense or try to make rational one as evil as she.


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oh don't get me wrong, I said he has given her control. And at this time she's got it until he can step up and do something legally.

I can't 100% agree that this is just all him. I believe a lot of his lies were to protect BG from it all, both for himself and for her. I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt, as I cannot read his mind, only God can. no one knows if he truly knows what he wants, or if he does just want baby, or what. I know actions speak louder than words, but he still suprises me sometimes, like when he takes these other people with him when he could just say no, or when he stays and he could just be with OW. He has confused me. Of course he could just be manipulating just so he can in the end be with OW, but I really don't believe that. I feel he is confused and he's mostly scared of OW. I think he's afraid of doing anything major because of what she might do to him. shoot, I'd be afraid of her she is a psycho!!! lol



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its both of them. he lied about some things to protect me, and she used them to hurt me. she has a double standard i pointed out today, when he said he wasnt playing games. he is by playing along with her. she said SHE had to be there for her kids when they met my kids, uh duh I should have been there when my kids met her and her kids!!! he actually used the words it was good for HER and HER kids. ok and what about me? that pain i felt watching MY kids with H to go to HER house (the love shack eww)was worse pain than when it was the bomb. I am done being last. I totally feel LE's pain about his divorce, and the loss of the kids time.
Crissy i too along with Kel, wonder about the whatever for now, so he can end up there. If he lied to my face for all those years about her, and lied to my face about not staying for my health, then he could be lying now, putting on an act so he can say see i tried it didnt work, and it isnt because ow is making sure it doesnt.
we were supposed to go to arkansas after xmas, H is trying to back out of that now too. fine he can stay, if mil goes, i am still going. dr permitted, and maybe not permitted since its just driving. and its out there in nowhere land, beautiful country.


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Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
I think he's afraid of doing anything major because of what she might do to him. shoot, I'd be afraid of her she is a psycho!!!
I think I agree with you. What other description is there for a person that sends the type of emails that she does?


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I must've missed this email. HOpe you're doing well though BG!

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Hey, BG!

I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this sh**! I feel your pain at being "last". If I recall correctly, Yellowrose once told me that she at one time told her H to go back to the OW because she didn't want him anymore! Their sitch didn't have a kid in the mix, but he was being wishy-washy, and she finally got sick of it and put her foot down. Didn't answer his calls for several days after that. And then when she finally did answer his call, he asked her what she needed him to do to make things right, so she told him, and he did them.

I'm not saying you should do that, but I am saying that I think it's OK to stand up for yourself. I don't think you are obligated to allow your kids to go with him to the OW's house. I don't even think you would be out of bounds to insist that he pursue the legalities of visitation, and avoid contact with OW at all, if he really wants to work on your M.

And I think it's a great idea for you to go on the trip if you want to even if he stays home. I think that shows strength and independence (so long as it doesn't endanger your health).

In short, take care of you and let him figure himself and this crud out! You've shown that you can be supportive and accepting of the situation even in helping the OW when the child was sick! (Talk about above and beyond the call). Your H has seen it. Now he needs to wake up and appreciate it for the value it is!

You are amazing, and don't your forget it!!

((((((hugs))))))


TJ

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you know, I am thinking having the kids go with him is a bad idea. I don't think THEY should be there without YOU. I know your wanting to keep tabs on him, but I think you need to let that go. If he wants to have a secret R with her, he'll find a way, so having "bodyguards" I don't think is really the answer. I understand the boundary, but using the kids is just not sounding good to me.

I think you should use a boundary of him getting something legal started. I think I would say, "Are you comfortable with this arrangement with your son that OW has forced on you? What would you like for the arrangement to be? While I appreciate the fact that you are respecting my wish to take someone with you to OW's house, this can't be something that can continue. If you are interested in working on our M, then this arrangement that OW has control over needs to be changed. It is causing stress on all of us and it is detrimental to our relationship. I would love for you to file something legally so that you can take back some control. If not, I need to tell you that I will not be okay with this arrangement much longer."

that's just mho.


Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
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(((Babygirl)))....just have you on my heart sweetie. Wish I could give you a Christmas miracle, but we know in real life that is not how it works. Think about yourself and put yourself first. He isn't going to, so BG has to.

We all love you and want you to be a surviver. Just get through Christmas. I have never heard of so many families spliting apart as I have this time.

You are in my heart and in my prayers.

Love,
Sandi


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St-like Bg said we have wondered why he is doing what he is doing and I too have presented her with the same questions and thoughts you did. So glad i'm not the only one sticking up for him a little.

BG-I also agree with ST's later comment about the kids and the legal stuff. If nothing else, it may make him make his choice obvious to you one way or the other.

You know that my biggest concern is you and YOUR kids and your health, so only you can decide what is right for you. I will support you however you choose to handle it.


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Hey, BG!

The alt is finally up again! You can search for yours truly (SChrldr) and hopefully we can hook up?


TJ

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Originally Posted By: kelaaron
St-like Bg said we have wondered why he is doing what he is doing and I too have presented her with the same questions and thoughts you did. So glad i'm not the only one sticking up for him a little.
I agree too Kel, but I don't think it is "sticking up for" as much as it is offering understanding. And forgiveness. Breakaway, I don't think it will do anyone any good to try to "imagine" the whys and wherefores of the things that H has done and said. If BG wants her marriage restored it will never happen by harboring anger and bitterness. Only God's total forgiveness will work.

That being said, it's all about what BG wants. In no way should she offer herself as a doormat. She knows what boundary she has to put out, and then follow through.

She also knows that we are here to support her. She is the wife, and she is the real family. Just because H's coworker got nocked up - does not a family make.


Last edited by 1hope; 12/23/08 01:46 PM.

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Morning BG- Very good observation Hope, BG you are the wife and she is a coworker!

Take care of yourself!


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good morning bg

I am thinking about you and praying for you my dear.

Try to relax. You are a blessing to many people sweetie.

His faithful love endures forever!


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I'll be back to read up and post, just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about you.


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morning all. man its windy here. great tomorrow is xmas eve, and guess what? we have nothing done. talk about last minute stress. oh well, it shouldnt be to hard. I am going to talk to him about us not exchanging gifts to eachother. it feels really weird to me right now.
sometimes i defend my h, mostly not lol, but I do appreciate the insight and any understanding I can have. H emailed me some pics of this summer, of course, 2 of them have GAG me in them, she looks OLDer than I do! I will try and see if I can put them up on the alt!! Guess we shall see how today goes. i didnt see him yesterday cause of work til after 8. after today he will be off pretty much til Jan.


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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I agree with ST. You need to set the boundaries. You need to figure out what is going to work for you, too. You're amazingly strong.


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Originally Posted By: 1hope
Breakaway, I don't think it will do anyone any good to try to "imagine" the whys and wherefores of the things that H has done and said. If BG wants her marriage restored it will never happen by harboring anger and bitterness. Only God's total forgiveness will work.



Well, I wasn't really saying I wanted her to spend time imagining it. You took that over literally. My point was just that it is easy for everyone to pile a lot of blame on the OW, in a way making excuses for what H is doing, when he created that sitch.

In no way would I recommend harboring anger or bitterness.


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okay, you said H emailed YOU pictures of him and OW????? is that right? and why on earth would have promted him to do that? did you ask him?

on the gifts, I think not doing presents is okay. Are you planning to give a card? I think it would be good to do that


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BG, do you have the same name on the alt?

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BG...hey, you! I hope you are staying at least a little bit warm!!!

I hate that you aren't finished with your Christmas prep either. I have a little more to do tonight, but it's only 52 degrees here so not so bad to get out in!!!

Try not to overstress. Take the trip to AR...you know it means a lot to your MIL, and you could use the time away from home and the adventure.

We can deal with all the other BS in your life after the holiday is over!!!

Love you!
Amy


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Hey, BG!

Look me up in the alt....my e-mail and stuff is there....

I've been snowed in for 4 days! That's no biggie to you mid-westerners, but to us in the Pacific Northwest, it's unheard of!! We have the "3 flake rule" here, ya' know? Three flakes and the schools close!! \:D

Hope you are doing OK! ((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))


TJ

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(((((BG)))))

You've got mail!!


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good morning bg

I hope you are doing super Sis!

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It's Christmas Eve! Good morning little girl (((BG)))

Just wanted to stop by and give you a gentle hug and remind you as you venture thru your busy day that you and your family are loved and in my prayers.

I hope that Santa brings you all that you desire dear BG, because you deserve all that, and much more.

Take good care and know that you are very loved.


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love love love

I have an abundance of that stuff stockpiled and its point of intended delivery (in two cases actually) is not receiving any shipments. Reason unknown.

But their loss is your gain my dear.

Merry Christmas!

love,

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Merry Christmas,Sweetie!!

I will try to give you a call today or tomorrow!

Love you, little sis!

SMW


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Merry Christmas BG!!!

Hoping you feel the blessings of the season and wishing you a very Happy New Year!!!


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Morning BG- Happy Christmas Eve. Will be thinking of you through out! Take care!


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Merry Xmas BG...

I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

With love...XOXOXOXO


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merry christmas bg

our savior is to be born \:\)


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MERRY CHRISTMAS, BG!!!! Just wanted to send you hugs and tell you I love you!!!

Amy


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BG- I hope your Christmas as good! Thinking of you.


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Merry Christmas BG. You are in my prayers.


A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does

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Hi Babygirl (sweetie).....thinking about you a lot and praying for you. Sure hope you can get to a warmer place soon. Want to see you feeling better and certainly a lot happier.



Love,
Sandi


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where's she at?

Oh ..lovely, amazing bg!

come out, come out ..wherever you are!



And you probably will after I depart from here in another 5 lol


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Hey BG- Are you warm today? They are calling for low 70's here today! I hope you get the same, and the bad storms are not there for you tonight either!

Take care!


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hey all, sorry for the mia, its been a rough week, thank you all for the xmas wishes, wish I could have been here with you. least its over. the day and nite before xmas eve, didnt get anything done, do to recent developments in the household, so had to do it all xmas eve day. will post about all that after i check in with my friends here.
arkansas trip is canceled. so will be around with you all afterall. thank you again for thinking of me, you were so greatly missed!


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Morning..((((BG))))!!!

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(((((BG)))))))

Hey there sweetie. Chin up - you know we're all here rooting for you.


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(((( bg ))))

I always have hugs to spare for a great sis \:\)

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Merry Belated Christmas!!! I will be calling you sometime this weekend or beginning of next week.

Are you going to church on Sunday? We'll be partying pretty good tonight for H's brother who's in town from hawaii, so hopefully I'll be feeling well to go! If you need a ride let me know.

remember the reason for Christmas. It doesn't matter what we give or what we receive, it is the gift of God that is important, and it's easy to lose focus on that. He is a wonderful and loving God and he is still watching over you BG, he still loves you, for you are his beautiful child and no one can take that away.


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M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
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H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

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Babygirl, honey, I'm hugging you from here. And I am filling a stocking with coal for you-know-who.


Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.

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Hate the trip was cancelled Babygirl. Hope you get warm anyway. Want to hear how things are going. Take care of yourself.






Love,
Sandi


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Hey sweetie,

have a quiet peaceful day and drop us a line if you get a chance


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Good morning BG,

I'm thinking about you and wondering how you are feeling. Hugs to you baby.


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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hello sweetie. \:\)


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hey all. wow its nice today. finally. weather here was all over over xmas.

well, lets see, ow has made our lives impossible, i mean like impossible, it put my H at the point last week, he has decided he probably needs to move out, and then he can date us both and figure things out. WELL I AM NOT DATING MY HUSBAND WHILE HE IS DATING HER! unacceptable. needless to say, xmas was really wierd after that talk. if he wants to be stupid and not stand up for himself, fine, but I wont share anymore. if he moves out, which wont be til after deer season, then we are done. that is my decision. and its not want I want, but I REFUSE to let her control our lives, and i wont share with her anymore. I say that with strength, but you know if he goes, I need you all real bad. so sorry i havent been on much, its been so dang busy here, I miss you all so.


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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we miss you right back.

i hear what you are saying and it is good for you to be clear about what you want and to stand firm about it. You are doing great in the midst of the storm. Make sure you are just as clear if not more so to H as you are with us on here. that is important.

You will be blessed my dear for your convictions and strength founded in the Lord. \:\)


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thanks tomato, i was blessed with, he loves her, me and i wont let him date us both so he left. thats great NOT!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Hey, ((((BG))))!

Date you both???? \:o \:D He actually had the nerve to state that possibility out loud??? \:D

You shouldn't get mad at that, you should be laughing your A** off!!! Freakin' unbelievable. He's definitely off his rocker. Hide all the sharp objects, and call the paddy wagon to come take the man away!

That's almost as bad as the time my best friends husband left her for and OW, and then actually asked if they could still file their taxes jointly and claim the OW as a dependent! \:D

BG, the man's nuts. You deserve better. I hope I don't offend you with my laughter. I know you are hurting. But that crazy suggestion of his does not warrant even one second of your pain. It's just worthless BS, plain and simple.

Take care, and you still haven't looked me up in the alt. Look for "SChrldr"


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Originally Posted By: Babygirl
thanks tomato, i was blessed with, he loves her, me and i wont let him date us both so he left. thats great NOT!


Hey, what's up snappy one. If you must, do like I do and get your emotions out not only on here but also by getting vociferous and revved up at the Lord in prayer. When I ....prayed the other night, I believe the entire neighborhood heard me screaming at the Lord. I was fiery and enraged about stuff and He knew it and He couldn't help but hear it all the way up there in Heaven. I made sure of that. It felt fairly good. And as is so often the case, He 'returned serve' with a clear showing of His awesomeness. He always has this way of bending me back into shape when I get bent out of shape. Just like saying to me "Get a load of this, would ya .....And your concern was what ..again..you doubted me ..you bozo!!"

Oh how truly awesome the Lord we serve is bg!

Keep serving Him dear! \:\)


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I will look you up later today cheerleader, its break so I have been sharing the comp with the kids!
tomato, I have a meeting with my pastor today at 10. he did not come home last nite, that totally sucks!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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I hope your meeting lifts your spirits some bg.

Smile through it all. Find your own happiness. It is closer than you know. \:\) Keep focussed on Christ. You will be feeling better in no time \:\)

I am going to be praying for you. You pray too!!

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{{{{{BG}}}}}

Missed your call the other day. It is nuts here with the kids home and my boys, too. Off from babysitting tomorrow and Thursday and I cannot wait!


Stay strong honey and know that you are doing the right thing. He wants a big ol' slice of cake--serve it to him with kitty litter! Whata butthead! (S3's new favorite word!)

SMW


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Babygirl, hand in there. You are absolutely doing the right thing by telling him NO!!! He needs to see the consequences of his actions.

I know it is hard...we are all here for you.


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Love you BG! I miss you too.

Baby, you don't deserve this. Date you both? Dear Lord! She has his balls and his brains. I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't want a "ball-less wonder."

Get off their roller coaster right now! For your health, that is an order!

I will be here for you no matter what you decide. I am glad that you are talking to your Pastor today, I will keep you in my prayers too.


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(((((BG))))))!

Love to you! I hate that things aren't going well right now, but, as much as you can't see them, better days are just around the corner. I know cause I've already gotten some in my life...better days!

Hang in there! We're all here for you.

Love ya!
Amy


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Hey BG- Sorry that things are boiling down to what she wants. You need to think about you! I know that it is hard, living in the middle of their roller coaster takes too big a toll on you! Step back. I am praying for you!


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thanks all. meeting with pastor was great. I so needed it. i think that will charge my batteries til sunday. He suggested a few things, one to ask H how he sees me, as his wife, his friend, his bed buddy what. that I just tell h that he has to choose her or me. that I have to have a consequence he understands if he breaks the boundaries. and that he really prays that H would see, that OW is the one destroying on purpose what we are trying to rebuild.

I let kelsey hear a couple voicemail messages he had left me last nite, so someone could understand why i believed he wanted to save us so bad. he did say he is confused, how do I let him work thru his confusion?


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Maybe just by letting him go? Dropping the rope, so that OW has enought to hang herself with? If you let go of the rope will she fall on her a$$?

IDK, it's your call, but what would he do if you enforced your boundary and changed the locks?


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Stick to your guns BG. You are a very strong woman. You can do and be anything you set your mind to.


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who knows what he would do with anything. today he has been massively grumpy, he was upset my session with pastor went 30 minutes longer, then mad I let d16 go to the mall again, just plain mad, oh well didnt fall for his bait. I have said nothing to him about anything he has said the past few days, let him worry for once what i am up too lol!

oh hope, she will so be there to pick him up AS SOON as she can be.


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ok hon, i'm gonna say the same thing here that I said on the phone. Maybe someone else will have some input.

First, you know I completly understand all of it. More than anyone else. So I will say this with as much strength as I can cuz I know where you are.

Let him go. Let him have his time to make his choice. I know you know where he will go initially, but he already is going there and you and the kids are suffering for it. Honey, he has/is costing you sooooo much.

He needs to see that you won't keep playing this with him and he needs to see what his REAL other option is. He loves you. I know that. But until he gets to see her for what she is, he will keep doing this to you.

I know you say if he goes, you won't take him back. So many of us have said that. You don't have to date him, that will just keep him in the same place he is now. But if he really thinks he will lose you, it may change his mind. I really think that is the only way he is going to open his eyes. And then maybe if he wants to work on it, you can open your heart enough to give him and you that chance.

He is not able to stand up to her right now. He is not able to see her for what she is. He just isn't there. But if you keep going this way, you are not gonna have anything left of yourself. Your selfesteem, your health, your family. It is time to be strong. Not strong enough to endure more of his bad behavior. Strong enough to say enough is enough. Ok just my opinion. Hope you still love me. \:\)


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sigh yea i guess i still love you, guess i have to after i had us both in tears last nite lol!!!

hmmmmmm i am thinking a haircut and color are in order, dont know what it will look like, but even if i get it styled it might be cool. no more hiding under my dew rags lol!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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well i better get brownie points, i finally figured out the ipod thingy the kids got H for xmas. I am gonna go get a haircut, my adopted daughter is working til nine! she wants to put orange streaks in my hair lol!! do I dare?


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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cool another redhead ..join our club my dear Sis

we count even the altered one's sorta ..lol


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OK BG- Orange streaks! You know me I am all about red! Dorothy you know! A red head from Kansas!


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hey baby,

I'm really glad you haven't been talking about anything. totally let him wallow in confusion. ;\) not that he isn't already confused.

any anger that he puts on you guys is from his own frustration.

hey, I may be able to get out of the house tomorrow late morning, if you need a ride to the VS place..I found a coupon that you could use too. can't stay out too long, but it's a thought. you can call me tomorrow if you want. I'm staying at my moms right now and H is at his, so I don't have to worry about him being upset that I'm busy on the phone. lol ;\)

I wanna see your new hairdo too!!!


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hey all, hair is cut, so dont like it, got the color will put that in later, and britt will come out sometime later in the week to orange streak me.

Cool crissy, I will give you a call tomorrow, havent really slept yet, and am so lost in what VS stands for lol!

went to dinner with H, MIL, BIL and my little 4 month old nephew, it was good. am so full. came home to D and friend jammin out on rock band, hmmmm who's bright idea was that for a gift for the kids lol!? \:o

Last edited by Babygirl; 12/31/08 05:13 AM.

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hey bg

i am pretty down and out

how bout you??


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hey tomato, sorry you are down. think of me with my brunette hair with soon to be orange streaks lol!! whats up bud


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Hey (((((BG)))))) Glad to see you up and about..

Haven't been around much; but have been catching up.

God Bless..

Tom


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Hey, BG!

I love doing funky things with my hair!! And I absolutely adore the reds!! I bet you'll look great!


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the see saw bottomed out once again

more of the same ..just doesn't seem to ever change


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orange is my fav color. espcially texas orange. might as well be funky lol.

so sorry tomato, i know that teeter totter, it sucks, I will pray an extra special prayer for you my dear brother.


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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we spent time together over the last two days.

guess she came back cuz- "she needed some"

in that department we are beyond exceptional for each other

but nothing else ever works. She will find a way to fight with me no matter what words come from my mouth. She is a born fighter. It is what she lives and breathes. ANd once she gets up a head of steam for fighting.. look out..it just escalates. I try to seek the pressure relief valve and there is none to be found. Her needs will never be met. She will not "really" let Jesus in to help meet those needs for her. She turns to me for everything and that is an impossible thing for me to have any chance to fulfill

THAT is WHAT IS WRONG. NO JESUS ..NO PEACE


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she does not get it.

She is chasing the wind ...as are many


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If she shuts out Jesus and fights me every step of the way when I try to challenge her to make her grow and develope as a person with the intention of trying to make her the best she can be. She is doomed to unhappiness. She will spin and spin and spin .

Jesus is real. He is not some statuesque crucifix thing. He is real. He is love and truth and light. All you will ever need.

She is entrapped in the world. So sad. \:\(


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I hear you brother, completely. well I can pray for her tonite when i pray for H and the ow. hang in there bro, WE WILL survive this ride. to bad we cant do the right preflight check before we got married eh lol?


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very funny on the pre-flight ..almost funny


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this time of year ..I would like to put a stick of dynamite to and just blow off the calendar entirely


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LOL! well my exh was a pilot, we flew alot, all over, I can do a great preflight, in fact I can take off, fly and land lol! its just an analogy i use, I obviously didnt do an adequote preflight hehehe.


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it sickens me to no end that we can have passionate times that are beyond compare and then just have a total meltdown when we try and talk

I am so pissed off

I threw a tantrum in the airplane just before doing my last flight. I just about punched a hole in the fuselage I hit it so hard


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Originally Posted By: Babygirl
LOL! well my exh was a pilot, we flew alot, all over, I can do a great preflight, in fact I can take off, fly and land lol! its just an analogy i use, I obviously didnt do an adequote preflight hehehe.


yeah, that's cool...you shared that with me before. I know you worked as a line person at some KS airport in the sticks \:\)


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EXACTLY i feel those words. i totally understand thats what happened here yesterday!

breathe, pray as you tell me. and dont punch that plane!!!!


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yep newton city county airpot. sweet gig, til i got prego. he bro remember my brothers saying, better to be pissed off, instead of pissed on lol!

at this moment, i am shutting down for the nite. retreating to my room far away from the rock band!!

dream well my family here.


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cuz now she has stonewalled the lines of communication.

When any need of her's does not get met that is what she routinely does. I will take my ball and go home then so to speak.

Heads off to her ex's,where she has called home for the last 5 months, who is asexual i think. he is a little odd. and his giving her safe harbor to come live at his place is BS. He considers himself religious. Interfering with the sanctity of a marriage is unacceptable to me. At one time I did respect him. Now he is lucky I don't spit in his face if I were to ever cross paths with him.

Last edited by Tomato; 12/31/08 05:52 AM.

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Originally Posted By: Babygirl
EXACTLY i feel those words. i totally understand thats what happened here yesterday!

breathe, pray as you tell me. and dont punch that plane!!!!


alright ..thanks for being a great Sis

I will try and go pray. I am quite sure it will get loud between me and Him.

good night & thx so much


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Tomato you said;

<<<fights me every step of the way when I try to challenge her to make her grow and develope as a person with the intention of trying to make her the best she can be. She is doomed to unhappiness.

You're trying to make a flower grow by yanking it up & looking at it's roots every few days.

You can't challenge her to grow. You need to love her exactly where she's at, or vote with your feet & walk away.

You can't make her develop as a person. She needs to want that for herself.

You can't choose happiness for her. You can't give her the greatest gift ever, she has to knock on the door herself.

My night totally sucked too. Happy Fricking New Year (sarcasm noted).

Hugs


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wow smartcookie, great wisdom! gonna reread that over and over. i feel ya on the happy new year blah.

its cold here this morning. we awake to babys momma calling to see if H will go help the babysitter move a big tv, ok WTF he sure bettr not. that is crap. i want to break his phone in a zillion peices!!!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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someone please come put a gag in my mouth. for real, explain to me why it is anything to do with my husband, for him to go help his sons babysitter get a tv? it sounds completely fishy to me, just an excuse for him to be around them. OMG and I am trying so hard to not go off, and be calm and I am about to blow up!


M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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baby momma calls and H jumps. Why? Because she is holding all the cards when it comes to contact with his son. When is he going to get the paternity test to establish his rights? He HAS to do this. Even if, God forbid, he were to leave you and go to her she could still deny him his child unless he gets that test and gets his name on the birth certificate. He is completely clueless!!!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Holy cow, what a great picture!

Quote:
You're trying to make a flower grow by yanking it up & looking at it's roots every few days.


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I agree mishka, he said after the new year he will get the pat test, his mom is looking at buying a home one to send in. its to help his sons babysitter i guess with a big tv, but for real, she has a huge family, and i still think it smells fishy. real fishy. and its not h job. so far he hasnt called her back, he can tell i am not a happy camper. of course its a holiday, just like xmas eve, she has to mess with us.


M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,306
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Ok Babygirl. I can understand you being mad and I'm sure he knows you are. NOW - you can't tell him how to choose but you can make a choice. IF he decides to go do this, then you need to find something else to do and NOT BE THERE when he gets back.

I don't care if you have to pay for a taxi. And if you have a cell phone then you aren't going to be available on it.

He has to SHOW you what he is going to do. His words are empty until HE SHOWS YOU.

If I were there I would have to punch him in the groin and then stomp on his head. : ) Good thing I'm at the other end of the keyboard.


Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.

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LOL KJ! I just dont get her. here it is again a holiday, and again she is trying to be in our business. these are the reasons we fight. and it makes me feel like she is trying to cause a fight on purpose. I am thinking about calling crissy and see if she wants to go to victorias secret, I have a 100 gift card there, it would be fun to treat myself there, I havent in a zillion years. and of course crissy would keep my mind off of him.


M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 9,762
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Do it. Call her. Get out of the house and ignore him. Have fun with the pretty, pretty panties. \:\)


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,991
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lmao. pretty panties, now for me that would be hilarious, tmi or I would tell ya lol. they sell sweats and stuff, so maybe i can get some of them instead. waiting to see what D has up, ow dont need h help now, something was up tho, I could tell from overlistening while they were talking. oh well.


M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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