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#1675080 12/16/08 08:24 PM
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Another Thread locked!

Still freezing rain here. One of the Superintendent's from a local school just called in and said, when I decided this morning not to cancel school, it wasn't freezing rain! When he was calling I could hear him scraping his windows!


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I'm first!!??? \:\)

Sub zero and snow here on top of the ice from our 50 degree melt on Sunday. Weeeeeee............


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hey girlie sheesh bout time, i have been trying to tell you for HOURS that kel sends her love and will be here soon!

oh its still snowing here, whereever LE is right now is freezing drizzle, i told him to keep it! we have INCHES of snow, it can quit like NOW!


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Ok miss MT, have to reread the other thread to remember exactly what I had to say to you cuz it took you sooooo long to get here.

Love you


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Sorry guys- busy day here! We have our Christmas party here tomorrow so setting tables, and putting out table cloths, just one of those afternoons, plus weather. Tomorrow I have to go pick up smoked turkeys too, so will be late getting in too, so that will throw me off too!!! I am ready for vacation, that is the good thing, we get Christmas Eve off and don't have to come back until the 5th, so it is worth that!!

Getting ready for my drive home, not looking forward to that,hope everyone has a great night.

Hey Kel- I love you too and have been missing you!!!


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WC- I don't want your weather either!!! My parents lived in Alaska, not sure how they did that. I would have much rather been born in Hawaii I think! LOL!!!


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BG- The freezing drizzle that has what we have had all day, sometimes harder turning into the rain! YUCK!


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MT-good morning girlie. Decided to leave your weekend alone mostly cuz too lazy to go back and read again. I think I've finally caught up with everyone but who knows...

Have a good day, wish I had big christmas break coming up like you...LOL


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Morning MT. Hope you got your turkeys and get in to work ok.

I'm wising you a busy day full of Holiday Cheer!


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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hey girlie. hope you made it to work safely, worried about your weather over there. freezing rain is a coming next, fun fun not lol!!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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ok mt where are you


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Mt for real i am gonna call right now!!!!!!!!!!!


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Sorry Guys, Work was VERY BUSY today, and now I am baking and making for work tomorrow. Sorry, BG- I just got your missed calls on my phone, it is a bit slow! LOL. Sorry, I didn't get on, I also was trying to multitask a bit too much and spilled water on my phone and under my laptop, the laptop sat on it's side for 4 hours finally dried out, so it worked again! Yipee! I was a bit worried for a while, that I was doomed! LOL. My phone still not working, had to change it out. It was a fun day just busy!

Freezing rain for tonight....

have a Peaceful night! Thanks for checking on me! Sorry!


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Hi Sweet MT. Whatcha baking?

Any of my favorite cookies?


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Hey Tomato- Pecan tarts, for my mom for her school party, and for my work tomorrow, French Silk Pie for my mom, tortilla pinwheels, for my work, Enchiladas, for a lady at work who had to have her hip taken out because of infection, so some of us are trying to help her out, peanut butter balls, and frosted soft sugar cookies. I drank some 5 hour energy when I got home and then had a beer, so I am doing pretty well so far! LMAO!!! I am sure I am going to crash soon. How is your night going T? Are the skies friendly tonight?

Take care! I will send some cookies your way!


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bout damn time sheesh lol!


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You have so much energy already and then you added an energy drink? WOW!

It's so great how you use your cooking talents to help people. What's a tart?


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YOU are so grounded!!! me and kel have been so worried! UGH go to your room right now lol!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Sorry guys! I was about to get on this morning, when I dumped the water. So then I was 'puterless for the rest of the morning!And then very busy still in the afternoon. LOL.

Oh WC- I used to have lots more energy, I would vacuum at 4:00 in the morning. Working the 10 hours is great to have Friday off, but makes it hard to get motivated at night. I am much more a morning person. So tonight, I needed a bit more. Don't really know if the 5 hour energy did anything or not, but I figured it was worth a shot!


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WC- A tart is like a little pie, I make them in a tart pan. About 2 inches across or less probably. Very tasty!

Time to take my Mom's stuff to her, in case the weather is bad in the morning, i don't have to stop by her place, I can keep right on trucking!

Last edited by MT35; 12/18/08 03:21 AM.

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you are still grounded!
love me and kel


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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Yes MT grounded! You made us worry.

Glad you had a good day and puter still working.

Love, Kel


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hello and have a spectacular day. I'll pray for yuz.


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Morning all- Got all my food here today! Yeah! Glad to see no freezing rain, just freezing fog, but not nearly as yucky. Supposed to get to 50 today with rain! So it should melt all this yucky stuff.

Last night H was over, went and got his glasses at Wal Mart then came back to have an enchilada when I was making them for the lady at work. I hadn't asked for a while about his looking for a place to live, so I did. H said I haven't looked lately. Then he was quiet for a while. He went and got his glasses then came back, ate and stood in the kitchen with me while I worked on stuff, and left around 8:00. This morning when he called me on his way, he wasn't very perky, I asked how his night was, he said alright. I dropped off some pinwheels with him and two of his friends there at work came over and talked too. I was very upbeat and he was a bit sallom(sp), when his buddies came over he was a bit more upbeat just because I was with them and they were giving me a hard time too.

I did scare him a bit this morning too, I had called him when I pulled up to the gate at his work, but he didn't see it. So I was already a bit late this morning, because of the fog, and talking, I needed gas so I went ahead and filled the truck all the way up, so I am about to turn into work and H was calling. He says where are you? I said almost to work. H said did you call? He thought something had happened and he had missed me calling him. He called work and I wasn't there yet, so he got worried. I told him I was sorry I scared him, that I had called when he wasn't outside yet.

Tonight we are going to do some Christmas shopping for SD and then have dinner with her and my mom and dad for her graduation. Friday night is graduation night.

Hope everyone has a great day! Stay warm.

Last edited by MT35; 12/18/08 01:46 PM.

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enchiladas Yummmmmmm!

I am coming over there to fill my belly. \:\)


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Come on over Tomato! Lots of food for everyone!


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mt i make enchiladas we will have to compare recipies


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Mine, are not very fancy, I don't eat them because the enchilada sauce has tomatoes in them, and tomatoes give me migraines, but H and SD love them, so I hope they are good. H ate two last night, I guess that is a good sign! LOL.


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morning girl, you are still grounded lol. Kel and i are standing firm on that one! omg you so arent getting to 50 today that isnt right! its way cold here, with the freezing crap on its way!
glad you had a good nite last nite. hope today is a great day for you. great its only 10 here and you have me hungry!


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Morning BG- Still freezing fog right now and only 27, but they said we would make 50...we will see.


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Have a good time shopping and at dinner this evening. You are doing so well at this, especially with it being Holiday time.

I'm glad that SD is graduating. I know you were concerned about that.

Haha! I had enchilada's for lunch yesterday.


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Well, I am not convinced yet...that she has, but she is walking through. I hope she has passed everything!

Oh I don't know how well I am doing. I just wish like everyone, my perfect life, that I didn't realize how perfect it was, was back intact. I know that is a dream! I guess you don't know how much you had until you lost it. I think H feels that way sometimes, but not all the time. After all of this stuff is over he is going to have to figure that out, he can't have it both ways.


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Good morning MT. I hope your busy day yesterday and night was a good one.


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Morning Everyone! Hope everyone is have a great day!

Last night was good. H didn't come over much before dinner, hasn't been feeling well. H said the night before he had a headache so bad he almost called me to meet him at the hospital, but he said he finally went to sleep. That is probably why he was not very chipper yesterday morning. I got the lights on the tree, with the help of a few beers last night before he came over! \:\) Dinner was nice, and H and I went and looked around at some stuff for SD before we came home. H said something about SD's BF coming for Christmas eve and Christmas, I said that was fine with me. Something was said and he said they need to be in bed by 8:00, LOL. I said you aren't going to be there at night anyway, are you? So it wouldn't bother you if they were up all night. (SD, most nights doesn't go to bed until 3 or 4.) H said yeah, I said are you going to stay he said I figured I would. I said OK. I didn't figure you wanted to. H said, I thought I would spend the night that night.

So all in all it was a nice dinner, today going to take lunch to my friend Tiff at her work, and then graduation tonight.

A friend from work is getting her Master's Degree tonight too, so they are having a party for her at a bar on Saturday night, same bar H goes to Taco Tuesday at, I think Tiff's H is going to let us drink and drive us! So that should be fun!


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morning girls! yay the snow is gone! and i see sun today! that makes it a better day already!
so glad you got stuff on the tree, and had a good evening. sat nite sounds like a lot of fun. wish I didnt live a couple hours away lol!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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You sound good MT. I'm glad that you are busy and have good things to look forward to.

The snow has stopped here for a minute, but I heard that another 3 is on the way before tomorrow, and we'll get more on Sunday! Supposed to snow on and off until Christmas Eve. I don't have any outside events planned until Sunday, and then we have Christmas with my parents. I just talked to my mom, who is worried because my brother and wife are flying back from the UK and Detroit Metro is a mess. He has a truck, so if they can get to the ground, they'll be ok.

All I have to concentrate on is getting home safely. I think I'll make a pot of soup, have a few beers myself and finally put some decorations on my tree!

Oh, and I'm thinking that Dorothy needs some sexy new p.j.'s for H's sleep-over on Christmas Eve ;\)

Keep warm sunshine!

Last edited by 1hope; 12/19/08 08:28 PM.

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I like the way you think Hope! LOL. Actually I was thinking about one of H's wrangler button up shirts, he has always said that did it for him. Maybe something nice and new for underneath! When I took the pinwheels to H's work, before I went to eat with Tiff, I went ahead and dressed up for graduation, I think H was surprised, Black tights and heels, black skirt, black shirt and grey long backwards cardigan sweater. H noticed, didn't say anything, but he noticed. Tiff said you look so cute! I think Mike the guy the pinwheels were for he noticed, cause he said I thought you didn't work today. I said I didn't.

have a bit of a headache now, going to take some meds, and drink a beer...that should take care of it! LOL.

Be careful going home Hope! Have a great weekend! Stay warm! Soup sounds great!


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I made it home. Had to make a quick stop at the grocery to get some stuff I forgot for my mom & dads party on Sunday. Now I'm all set. Let it Snow!

Ohhh! Meds and beer, I agree. They will either make or break a headache. Hope it goes away for you. You didn't eat any tomatoes did you? I think that this whole MLC issue keeps the beer industry "afloat", IMO anyway. I know that it makes me sleep better anyway.

You outfit sounds really cute. Your H is noticing, and that's a very good thing. It's also good if other guys notice. It builds your self esteem AND lets your H see you as other men will.

I think you are doing wonderful. Haven't heard you mention the dogs in a while. Are they doing ok? I'll bet they miss their "dad". I still catch myself looking around for my little dog at least once a day. My cat is trying to take up the slack, but I still miss Max.

Hope you have a wonderful evening. Be safe!


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Hope, glad you got home safe and sound! The dogs miss him bunches, they are always excited when he is here, he will go out and run around with the boxer, this week he has been in the basement with the dachshund because of the nasty weather, so he is a bit...compacted! LMAO! so he needs to run around some. Both dogs have been sleeping in the bed with me, the dachshund always did, but the boxer had been out on the couch before H left.

Graduation was good. Long, and my butt hurt, it is in the college gymnasium, in December there are not near as many graduates as Spring, 615 this semester graduated, and with all of those family members, once again what are the odds that SD's mom's family would be one row over and down. Well for us pretty good. It was ok, they didn't speak to us at all! YEAH! We yelled loud for my work friend who got her master's and for SD, then two older ladies granddaughter who went to school on a softball scholorship, asked if we would yell when she went across. The rest of their family was at the top of the seats, and they didn't want to go that high! So we yelled for her too.

I was a bit nervous about the exwife and her family and gave myself a headache, it had gone away earlier, it was a tension headache that turned into a migraine. H and I went out to the mexican restaurant afterward, only one margarita, it didn't help my head. We went back home and H left around 10:30, told me to sleep, I needed it. He does too.

We didn't get any shopping done for SD, so I am not sure when we are going to do that, might have to skip the party tonight so we can do it tonight. Starting to run out of time now. We have been procrastinating. I cried a bit after H left last night, I think the tension of the night got to me and my head hurt so much, it helped a bit to relieve some tension, but I think I was worn out.

Since all of this started, I think I have drank more beer than I did when I was underage and in college! You know it was always more fun to drink when it was illegal! But a beer does make me sleep better!

Have a great weekend everyone! Take care!

Last edited by MT35; 12/20/08 02:20 PM.

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Everybody have a super w/e!

Love you all.

T


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hey girl, the wind is picking up here, and the temps are dropping, get ready!
so sorry about your migraine. they totally suck. glad the evening went well tho!!
oh i have to finish shopping to!!
hehehe, more beer now than when you were underage, does it taste better now or did it then lol?


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Morning all-

Last night was a blast. Had a wonderful time with my friends and I felt really good! late night for me didn't get home until 1:00! LOL.

For the first time in probably 14 years, I didn't talk to H at all one day. He never called or anything. Which Tiff said and I was thinking it too, that since he was with me so much during the week, Wed night, Thurs night, and Friday night for graduation, that he wouldn't come see me at all even though football was on the NFL network. Which I knew that too, in the back of my mind, but I would have thought he would have called. Tiff's H was great for driving us so we could drink! We did have a great time! So today off to the wal mart and need to bake a bunch, I guess I am not going to worry about getting SD's stuff, I wonder if H is worrying about it?

Have a great day! Very cold here! BRRRR! Chiefs on today, they should lose to Miami!


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glad you had a good time last nite! i was wondering! wow your h didnt call once? that is interesting. proud of you for not worrying about SD stuff. let him do it.
stay warm!
love ya


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It is weird I don't hear anything from H yesterday at all. H has called 4 times today now. About the Chiefs game and the football pool. H has the sheet didn't bring it out, said he started to last night but didn't. I told him about my night, H said did you have a good time? I said yeah it was great! A guy we work with was there and he was going to the Chiefs today, wasn't looking forward to freezing.
I said something about getting SD's stuff for Christmas, I asked if he went yesterday, H said no. H said I was in a really bad mood all day yesterday. I asked how come, H said I don't know just was.

Which on Friday night before graduation, he was in a foul mood then too. I got him to come out of it by the time we had come home from the bank, but I am not sure what his deal is there. When I had seen him and the guy I made the pinwheels for at noon on Friday, he was fine. I can hope he is figuring out, that things aren't great even when I am not around. I can't be the cause if I am not there.

H said we can go when ever you want. So we are going to go tonight to get most of SD's stuff. I still want to make sure she has a good Christmas, I have always tried to make it nice for her.

Last edited by MT35; 12/21/08 09:44 PM.

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Hey BG- How are you doing? This weather is yucky! At least it is sunny.


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Not really feeling like myself today..really don't know what feeling like myself feels like anymore. It have to work at the happy bubbly MT I used to be.

H and I went and did SD's shopping last night, got everything but the nintendo DS she wanted, found it in town over in MO, so I did the order online pick up at Best Buy store. So tonight we will go get it. I am just sad today, why today don't really know.


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It is ok to be sad MT. Was just talking to friend and got into the whole what is normal for any of us right now thing. So you are not alone in feeling that way.

I guess we just have to find a way to see the good and go with that for now. Smile honey.


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Hi to the happy lil Santa's helpers on here.

Must be pretty busy with all that toy makin'.

Love yuz!

Peace

T


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Morning Tomato! How is all the snow effecting your flights? You would be considered a Santa's helper too...wouldn't you? Flying your cargo!


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Thanks Kel-

I guess I am not used to being sad or not giddy this time of year!


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Originally Posted By: MT35
Morning Tomato! How is all the snow effecting your flights? You would be considered a Santa's helper too...wouldn't you? Flying your cargo!


This is true!

The flights must go on. The kids must get their toys even if I sacrifice myself in the process ...just kidding lol


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MT, my friend, I'm glad that you aren't used to being sad this time of year. One time is forever enough. This year will be it. It will be different, but you are being tested by the fire, and you will be stronger and better when this is done.

I find that it helps to remember that our H's are also sad and in pain. It seems simple that they are causing the pain, so they should "just stop" and things will be good again, but what has happened can't be undone, and there is still pain that comes with each healing little step.

Be still right now, and process. I feel that is what your H is doing. I think that's why he has the "foul" moods. It's pretty obvious that he is starting to process some of this. If he were convinced he was doing the right thing, he would not even be looking back.

Hang in there sunshine. You are very loved!


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Thanks Hope, I am praying that he is making steps. I know I just need to be still. It is very hard. I don't think I can take another holiday season like this one. Thank you for your thoughts! I always appreciate them!

Wish we had some sunshine! Just cold and cloudy!


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Do you keep some sort of a journal MT? Even it only a small "happy" notebook?

It has helped me to look back at the happy steps that H has made, especially when I find myself feeling down.

This time of year is the very hardest, I think, but no matter how things work out, it will never again be the same as this time.

I was wondering, do you think you are worried about what might happen after the Holidays?


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Hi, MT.

Stepping back and being still is the hardest thing, isn't it!! I have always loved Christmas! I love giving really big gifts and seeing those I love open them! I never really care what I get so much. This year, I didn't even do cards. \:\(

I am so ready for this year to be over!


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Hope, I used to keep a gratitude journal. I need to get back to that.

I think I almost feel like I need to tell him after the holidays that you can't keep seeing me if you don't want to be with me I guess. I know my friends want me to Sh*t or get off the pot, You know New Year, New You, stuff. But I just don't know, like today, he was talking to a coworker about us not buying gifts for each other this year, so we can go to Arizona next month. This was something we talked about doing last year, and we have decided we want to still go.

He still makes comments to me that are weird I guess, he has always called me his old lady to his guy friends, and he still does, when he told me about talking to his coworker, H had said me and myold lady when he was referring to us. He has said it other times too, that his friend has said, are you and your old lady going to the casino tonight, and his friend is referring to me. Just is weird to me, H isn't living with me, but I am still his old lady. I never took offense to being called that,the way some do. My Grandpa always used to call my Grandma, Woman, I always hated it when I was younger in Middle school and High School, I was all about women's lib then! As much as you can be at that age, where you think you know it all! LOL. Anyway, H would call me Woman too, just joking because of Grandpa, but it has stuck.

I know all of this takes time, but I just want it over! I guess I worry that our trip to Arizona maybe one of the last things we do together.

It is all just this time of year, with the New Year coming I think.

Last edited by MT35; 12/22/08 10:29 PM.

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SC- I am in the same boat, I have always done Christmas cards, even in Middle School and High School, I sent out the cards for my family. My mom never had time until after Christmas because of school and craft show stuff.
The past two years, H and I did ones with our dogs that I sent out. This year no cards. Just don't have the drive or excitement to do them this year at all! I have lost the spirit!


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When H and I were "dating" again a few months ago, he would make remarks referring to the future like we were going to be together. Then he got cold feet. Then, when PA came out, he agreed to MC. Last week, he said he's doesn't want to continue MC, he just doesn't love me anymore. I've put a down payment on an apt for me and S17, so H can move back into house to get it ready for sale. H has been really friendly and cordial, as have I. I'm feeling more detatched than I have ever felt. That's probably why H is being so friendly. He's happy I finally am "letting him go". Then, today, my H called me "Babe" for the first time in forever. And even though I know it means absolutely nothing, my heart gave a lurch when he said it.

It turly is an f'ing rollercoaster!!


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I understand what you mean. Last week I got I love you's for the first time since August, but then I think he scared himself off again with them! Who knows!


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I haven't gotten an ILY since March. The few times I told it to him, he replied "I know."


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Morning MT,

Hope you had a peaceful evening. Don't let the Christmas cards this year bother you too much. This Christmas will be very different from any others, since your life is different too.

We do all of these things because they are fun and we enjoy them. It's not much fun this year, so take a time out. Other years will be different.


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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SC-it is horrible when you feel like you are moving forward and they pull you back.

Mt-I didn't do the Christmas cards this year either. H took his to work, which he does every year, but he could care less whether I sent them to anyone else and I just didn't feel like it so....

Try to just get through the day. One day and then the next. Don't worry too much about the trip being your last or you won't enjoy it at all. Have a good day. Hope is right other years will be different


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Hi elfins


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Morning all-

Had a nice night shopping last night with H. We played with a keyboard, for about 30 min in Best Buy, it was fun. H seemed to really enjoy it. Then we looked at car lots in town too. H isn't feeling well, has some nasty stuff in his lungs and has shared it with me, I don't have it in my lungs yet, mine is just a cold. He also had a headache, took some stuff, but didn't help. On the way home we were talking about a song, couldn't remember the title, it was Steve Miller Band, The Joker. So when we got home I played some songs on You Tube. I started working on cookies, and H laid down on the couch,I found some other songs for us to listen to. We listened to music and we watched the last Monday night football game. H finally left around 10:15. He still wasn't feeling good, and had to go to work early this morning. Haven't heard anything from him this morning.

Supposed to have freezing rain this morning, so far nothing. Yeah! Today is my last day for work until the 5th, so that is nice! Usually I am so excited about vacation. I am excited but not as much as usual. I guess at this point that is normal. If there is a normal

Some people here have asked where my Christmas spirit is, because I didn't put a tree up in the foyer at work, part of that is we got a fountain with ferns where the tree normally went. It pissed me off a bit when they asked, as they were part of the group that was informed by the coworker by my SIL of H's A. So I really wanted to say to her, You know what is going on in my life, so just F- off. But I didn't. Don't even remember what I said, but I figure what the hell.

I won't worry about the cards, for one year, people will just miss out on the dogs. At family things during the year people would always comment on how much they liked getting my cards to see what the dogs would be doing.

Thanks for your thoughts guys! I really feel better knowing that others have the same feelings I am having.

Have a great day! Stay warm!!


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Morning T-

Happy flying!


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MT, sounds like you have some "mean girls" at work. I'm sure that you did well with your response to them. I do a lot of "response in my head" to the OW these days. It makes me feel better and keeps me out of trouble, lol.


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Oh yeah, If I were to vocalize exactly what I want to say, I doubt I would still be employed! LOL!!!


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Quote:
So I really wanted to say to her, You know what is going on in my life, so just F- off. But I didn't. Don't even remember what I said, but I figure what the hell.


Ah yes, the High Road. Always tough to take but worth it in the end (or so they tell me!)

Hi MT35,
Just wanted to say have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Much Better New Year!


Me 56
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Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself".
Ow Bomb 8/07
H filed 6/08
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Sometimes I think that if the road gets any higher, I will get a nose bleed or throw up! LOL.

Thanks so much SF- I do hope you have a Merry Christmas, the new year will bring us so much! I am praying for the GOOD MUCH!

Take care!


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Morning Sunshine!

It's Christmas Eve!!! So much to do, but wanted to start your day with a warm hug.

I hope that your day brings you love and peace.

Take care and know that you and your family are in my heart.


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Morning to you Hope! Have a wonderful Christmas with your H and family! I am sure it will be magical! I am praying for you!


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Merry Christmas Sunshine!

I hope that you and your family enjoyed all of the blessings that Christmas holds.

You are in my prayers too!


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Merry Christmas everyone. Hope it was wonderful for everyone.
Mine was good. H was here from after work on Wednesday, when we went to his Sister's for Christmas Eve, and he just left here about 5:00.

I didn't speak to the SIL that told my coworker about H's affair, she got a good Go to Hell look too, couldn't help myself. I thought I was doing well not to taker her out, actually! LOL. Sorry not much Christmas Spirit towards her. It was a nice night, I did somethings I wouldn't normally do, I didn't fix H's plate, I got up to get food before him, I didn't have to sit by him. H came over and sat by me to eat, brought me a drink. H got up and went out in the living room to talk to a BIL and nephew and I didn't follow him like I would have in the past. So I hope those are good steps for me. Niece who is about 3rd grade, told us 3 times that she loved us, and gave us both hugs. She has been around when I have talked to H's Sister, and I am sure knows somewhat of what is going on. I know she got to H, because when we left, he said, karley has never said ILY before has she, I said nope, H said the little Sh*t. The way he said it I could tell it got to him.

We stayed up till 1:00 watching Pearl Harbor, had been watching Bond before that, while we wrapped presents. We did have sex, and it was nice to be close to him. It was so nice to have him next to me in the bed last night, if felt right. I miss him terribly, but I tried not to let him know as much as I was feeling it.

Yesterday SD's grades got here, I could see through the envelope, and you have to have 124 hours to graduate, SD only has 118, she had told us before that she had two classes she had to take to graduate, well she had a D in a major class, and they have to be C or above. I left here a note on her bed with them, that I haven't told her Dad yet. I really didn't want him to have to deal with that on Christmas Day. I didn't want to either, but when SD and her BF got here this morning, it just made me a bit unhappy, but I didn't let it show. I just wish she would have not lied about it again, that she was going to graduate. The school will let you walk across to get your empty diploma holder, then send it later, because grades aren't even posted until the Tuesday after graduation.

H said I had to have something to open today, he went shopping on Tuesday night after he had been at the house. I went and got Gift cards for my mom and dad. He got us a together present, what he called it. I have always liked to do the for both of us presents. H got a shotgun. I had bought a clay pigeon thrower for our anniversary in October (ordered before the bomb in August), I didn't realize you had to have a shotgun not a rifle to do the clay pigeons. It was a lot of fun! It does have some good kickback, I am sure I will have a bruise on my shoulder, but I did pretty good, I hit most of them.

I got H a coin counter that counts the money you put in the jar, so Brut and lotion, then I had the guitar tuned too.

We all went to my Mom and Dad's to open gifts there, it was nice also, we were both tired seemed like. LOL. Came home after presents, and SD and her BF went to visit her Grandpa. I made pie, and then we went out and shot the gun some more. My mom and dad had got H a flying helicoper like thing for in the house, but it really didn't fly well, but the dogs and cats liked chasing it. We took a nap, and we were both out, I am glad I set the alarm, for 2:30, dinner at Mom and Dad's was at 3:00. H didn't want to get up at all. I really didn't either. After dinner we came back home and watched more Bond movies on Spike, and H left around 5:00.

He hugged and kissed me a few times before he left. H asked if I was going to be OK, I said yes, I am OK. After he left I cried for a while, but I feel better now. H left all of his stuff here and he said he would see me tomorrow.

It was a great day, and H was wonderful. It felt nice. I miss him so much. I guess I miss my good H, that is what I miss.

I hope everyone's Christmas was Joyous! I hope there are many Christmas Miracles....if not maybe we can have some New Year's Miracles!


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Merry Christmas Sunshine,

Sounds like you had a busy and very nice Christmas. I did too.
I hope that you found a measure of peace and love in the day.

I know that it is tough for you, but I think you are fighting the good fight, and your H would not be cominig back if he did not want to.

So sorry about SD, I think you were afraid that her graduating was an empty promse. I uderstand you did not want to let H know today, that is her problem anyway, so don't worry about it.

You are doing great Dorothy! You are goint to win this fight. You have so much more spirit than that evil other woman.

I love you sister.


Last edited by 1hope; 12/26/08 01:25 AM.

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P.S. I have put in my request for your New Years Miracle.


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Thank you Hope! It was a peaceful day, as the day went on, I tried not to worry about H leaving, but it was a lot like the last day of vacation or a Sunday night, when you dread having to go to work or school the next day. H called last night around 11:00, he was going to town to get Copenhagen. He asked if I was OK, I said yes. He told me he would be out tonight to go to the bank. We didn't talk the entire time, there was some silence, but it was OK. I know he worries about me, I wonder if that is the only reason he calls. I hope not, I hope he thinks about me and misses me. I know I missed him last night. The boxer was back in bed. When H was home he slept out on the couch.

I am praying for many New Year's Miracles for all who need them.

Dorothy may be needed tonight... LOL Supposed to have some nasty storms tonight. They are calling for upper 60's to low 70's today, windy, but a great day to get all the outside stuff down. But a cold front is coming through so will be back to the 50's tomorrow. Much better than teens!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day! Take care!

Love to you Hope!


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Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Hey Hope add me to your New Year's Miracle list. Thanks!!!


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Hey Kel- Good to hear from you. Hope you had a warm peaceful Christmas!


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hello to my buddies \:\)

I hope you are well MT kel & hopester & whoever else is lurking/milling about.

The Lord's peace to you all

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Hello T-

Hope your Christmas was Joyous! Take care!


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It had a morsel of joyousness to it ..thx. how was your's?

probably should read back and I'd probably discover the answer ..too fried right now ..zero sleep today, just running in every direction. \:\(

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MT? How are you sunshine?


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Hey Hope, I am good, actually. I am not sure, but I think H and I are progressing. On Friday night, H worked late and we went out to eat mexican and then on the way home, we were talking about it supposed to storm. H says the tornado can take my jeep and the truck, I tired of both of them. the jeep isn't getting great gas mileage. I said well it can take my car and the house too. H says where you would live? The way H said it pissed me off. I wanted to say, let me find some man off the street and I am sure I can live with him, just like you, but I didn't. But H could tell I was upset. He kept asking what was wrong, I finally said, I didn't like what he had said, he said he was sorry, he didn't mean anything by it. I said Yes you did. I finally said after a couple minutes of silence.

Why do you still want to see me if everything is so great with her, and you are so happy? (I know not good DBing, but I had to ask what he was thinking)
He paused for bit and said, Because I love you. I didn't say anything in response to him. He then said to me, Do you want to get back together? I said only if you want to be with me. H then said, If we do get back together,(I don't remember exactly how he put it) but the gist of it was that I wouldn't bring it up all the time and rehash his A. I said no, what is done is done. We haven't talked about it again since Friday, but he has been with me quite a bit, and I have gotten another I love you this morning.

I know this is the part where I need to be VERY Patient! I don't want to push him away, so I am not acting all excited about anything he says. In my heart I am hopeful, but not expecting anything right now!

I am glad Hope, you and your H got to spend some good time together! For you it will take time too!


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MT, those are big steps. He is finally thinking about things, and wondering if it will be possible to put your M back together. You are so right about the patience. It is so important, but so very hard.

It's funny, but once you aren't so worried about "saving" the marriage anymore, all of your feelings will finally kick into gear. Mostly I have found, the anger. Your H can sense that, and like most betrayers they are worried about if you will ever get past it. By the time they have decided to return, they are beyond it, but they wonder if they will be reliving it in every future fight.

Many times I have felt that I was over the pain and anger, only to have it sneak back up on me at some unsuspecting moment. Movies, music, last night I cried because I thought about my wedding dress hanging in my closet. H didn't see that. Sometimes, besides biting holes thru my tongue, the hardest part of this is finding times and places to cry so that he won't know.

It's a work in process. Something only you will know if you can do. Some days are easier than others. We are having a bit of a rought time right now because we found out that our friend that owns the little Pub that we all hang out in, shot himself Christmas Day. Several things were troubling him, but I guess the final straw was that his wife was leaving him for another man. This couple has been friends of ours for years, and it struck too close to home for H. It has probably made him think about the OW's H (his former friend) and this suicide threat when their EA was discovered. Later we found it was a PA. No one has died in our situation, but I'm sure H is probably thinking about what could have happened.

Oh well. That is all in the past, and I am sooooo ready for 2008 to be over!!

Do you guys have any plans for New Years Eve? I am thinking about you sunshine and you are warmly in my prayers.

We are supposed to get another 3-5 inches of snow this afternoon. Goody, just in time to cause problems for Holiday travel. Come on Summer!!


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yo peeps!

Be well today. Smile the Lord needs to see U happy!

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i responded to ya MT


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hey girl, wow, tread carefully, letting the pain and anger go is hard, and sadly, them letting the ow go is also hard, I just dont want you to hurt like I do right now.

love ya girlie!


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ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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Morning All-

I am being very cautious. Last night H came home right after work, told me about his day, and that one of his coworkers now wants to buy Peanut Butter Balls from me. My dad won the last football pot, so we took the money down to him. H kept saying he was tired. I said why don't you take a nap. H just said no. Then he did some other things, took the dowel out of the shotgun. I laid down on the couch, and said something about the nap we took on Christmas Day, where we were both out for about an hour. H said, I think I slept so well that night and day that my body is craving good sleep again. I just wanted to say, you know if you just stayed here then you could sleep well. H finally left around 5:30. Was only here for about 2 hours. It pissed me off a bit, because why the hell would you not stay, is what I wanted to tell him. But I told him to have a nice night. The dauchshund had a siezure last night and I started crying, because I felt bad that H wasn't here to talk to him too. It just made me madder that he wasn't here. He was fine, but I was already pissed and that didn't help. I fell asleep on the couch and slept until about 10:00. I got up and went to bed. Today going to meet Tiff for lunch so that will be fun.

I was thinking we had two weekends before we got to Arizona, but we don't we will be leaving on 9th or 10th. WOW that seems soon.

Have a great day, supposed to be about 60 today! Yeah!


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Thanks Hope, I know that it won't be easy. Especially since he is still living there. I made the mistake of watching some of my soaps yesterday, and on General Hospital there was a couple getting married, and it made me cry just thinking about it. It is all too hard, and I keep wanting to say, Why are you doing this?

I hope you have a great day at work Hope! I am sending hugs your way too!

Take care!


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Yup, watching weddings, stuff about cheating, divorces, dating memories etc. All very hard to watch or think about right now.


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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MT35,
He is probably going to have moments where fears hit him - he says these things to you, sort of commits himself, and then he's like, "Oh crap, what have I done - just going back to the same old problems."

He is probably very guilty, and very worried about you holding it over him, etc, too, but you self-diagnosed. PATIENCE!


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Hey, MT

You are getting ILYs!!! I so envy you that!! PATIENCE is the key now! I was driving home one day with my S17 in the car and I asked "I need to figure out how to learn patience!!" S17 looked at me and said "It's probably hiding out in the same place my work ethic is!" \:D Boy, do I love that kid!!

((((()))))


TJ

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Thanks JonF and SC-

I know he has to be scared, confused and worried. We were supposed to be there for each other for forever, and that isn't the way things are right now. What makes me mad is that he is the one who couldn't let the feelings go that I had an affair, when I didn't. I have forgave him many times over, really every times he leaves. I am not doing very good with the patience part right now.

The ILY's are nice, but hurt too when I know he hasn't decided I am the one. Tonight he didn't get come by until almost 6:00. Had gone and changed for Taco Tuesday, at the bar. To me that means he made it so he didn't have to be here very long. There was an ad on the TV about the casino's for tomorrow night, and we had talked before Christmas about going to a casino on New Year's eve. Some friends of his from work were talking about going and he had told them, that is what I wanted to do. So I asked him which casino we were going to? H asked if I had any money? Joking.

I said yeah money from my mom and dad for Christmas. H said I don't know if the other guys are going, then he said, I would rather go by ourselves anyway, but I really didn't know if we were going or not.

It was like he started back peddling so fast. He said some other things and I said, well I thought maybe we could go see the movie The Spirit and then go to a casino. H didn't say anything, so I said. If you don't want to. H never said anything.

We talked about football stuff and I so wanted to say to him, why don't you just go, why did you even bother to come over.

I am not sure how to handle New Year's. If he doesn't want to be with me then, I am not sure I want to spend time with him after that, but that is so hard for me right now.

Do I say, you don't spend New Year's with me, don't bother calling or seeing me? I know I won't be good at enforcing it though. I am sure I will just cave. I would like to think I won't...but.

I am just so tired right now. I feel rode hard and put up wet.
I cried after he left and yelled hit the pillows, not the wall this time.

I want to go to Arizona, so I think do I just wait and see what happens with our trip, or say I am not going to go. I don't know. Is it patience to sit and not do anything? I hate this!

Last edited by MT35; 12/31/08 01:05 AM.

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Hi MT

how the heck are ya?


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Hey T-

I am floating along I guess. Not the best tonight, but I know I am thankful for many things and blessings that I have!

Including my great dogs! I cry and they both comfort me. It is a good thing they are here, I am not sure what I would be like without them here.

Thanks for stopping by T! How is everything in the friendly skies?


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What is The Spirit about? As I am with all movies ...I am unfamiliar. In most cases they suck anyway and are a major waste of $ IMO.


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One of those where a cop comes back as a superhero, and fights against evil. Or something to that affect.

LOL!!


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I know the feeling of being comforted by the dog all too well. Though I did have my darling come by to relieve the dog of her duties of keeping me cheery.

The skies are what I have for comfort when I leave the dog to head to work. So I gues I am pretty well covered.

Spent yesterday and today with my darling before things fell apart a bit and she bailed after trying so feverishly to get me to agree to her way of thinking on something that means a bunch to her. She just can't let me hold my own view on something that may not match hers without getting all torn up over it. So we had another blow out cuz she could not leave well enough alone and then started cussing like a sailor a little bit (actually she is doing better in that dept), so I asked her to lease leave since she couldn't accept my views and be respectful and felt the need to be so insistent on wanting to concince me of her 'right' way.

Oh well, guess it has to get worse before it gets better.


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Sometimes I wish my H would be mad or upset now. Does that make since if he was mean or hateful, sometimes I think it would be easier to tell him to stop coming by. I know I am lucky in that regards, but I sometimes think that makes it harder too.

I didn't start the night out the best either, I had asked him for the past 3 days to bring home some bacon...I know cliche but he works at a bacon plant. LOL! He has forgotten every night, I was going to make little smokies wrapped in bacon with brown sugar to use up my last package, and take them to him for the guys at his work to eat. Well he forgot again today, going through my head was...If you needed this for OW you would have not forgotten. I did contain myself enough to not say that, but he knew I was pissed, and said if you want it so bad I can go buy some at the store. I said I am not mad, it was something for you. Yeah I was a bit pissed, but not because of the bacon I guess.

I am glad that when you are at work you do find peace, that must be a wonderful feeling. I love having time off this week, but I also have too much time to think. Today I just wasn't myself even with my friend Tiff. I just felt "off". One of those days I guess, I think one of those times of year!

Take care T, and have a wonderful night of work!


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If she is going to persist with the 'ice woman' routine right through and into the New Year then a thought just came over me.

I really would not be averse to finding some female company to spend some time with on New Years eve. Not looking to build anything new or inappropraite (though earthly folks would encourage me to do so since by the letter of the law I am D'd now for the last 6 months).

Darling continued to reiterate that she still refers to me as her H around others just as recent as yesterday. Almost a complete and full admission that the $$ spent on the D was nonsensical. Which it surely was.

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Thanks you have a great night also MT

I will pray that you will be able to do even better than just containing those thought about would he do this and that for OW. I will pray that they don't come over you at all and therefore they will not have to be contained. Work on that.

No sense wasting time thinking about her, she will be gone before you know it!


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Yes, I understand T. My friends want me to make this a brand new year, and tell H take a hike. But all know that I can't do that yet. I wish I could be a bit stronger, but I am not at that point yet.

You know my H lives with OW, not sure exactly to what extent live with, but he still refers to me as his old lady, and his friends do too. I don't even know if we did really go separate ways that we would D right away. H and I have talked about him dropping his Insurance at work and just be on mine, because they want his to be primary and it isn't near as good, but he still sees us as being married to drop his insurance to be on mine. It just doesn't make any sense. I really don't think it ever will.


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Thanks T-

I really appreciate the conversation tonight! I know she is a fleeting fancy.

I hope that your darling and you will get to share some WARM time together for the start of the new year!

Take care T!


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I have my doubts on that WARM stuff.

Actually what did you mean by that ..sex??

At this point I will take her just deciding to be present.

I would like her to come around for more than just sex ..of course not at the exclusion of the sex but for us to actually be able to spend peaceful, cohesive time non-sexually. I believe we can. What her view on that is entirely uncertain to me. She just seems like she will never emerge from a juvenile state. Now it is 'ice' time with the phone call embargo. Take my ball and go home BS.

It is just such complete and total BS.
I have reached my limit of it. SHe seems to always be hiding behind something. I am a black & white kinda person and I will either speak the truth and be genuine about things or I will say nothing at all. Trouble is truth starts and ends with Jesus ..the alpha and omega. She doesn't have a personal relationship with Him. For her, having Jesus in her life means having to go to the store and purchase a crucifix. That is a far cry from having a personal relationship with Christ and the truth that can only come from Him.

I am utterly confused as to what I will do next. I can't deal with this crap anymore.

\:\(

T


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Mt-take your time sweetie. He made a huge huge HUGE admission to you this weekend. He is not sure about what he is doing. Please have patience and let him come about this in his own way. If you push, even though you want to stop hurting and start healing, you will just push him away. Considering everything you have already been through, I know you can do this and let things unfold in their own time.

Happy New Year my friend.


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T-

The warm comment came from your

"If she is going to persist with the 'ice woman' routine right through and into the New Year then a thought just came over me."

I wasn't meaning sex exactly just that maybe the ice woman would warm up.

I am sorry things are not progressing for you. I feel for you.

I too would like to blow this day off the map. I want 2008 over, but I am not sure how to handle 2009 either. I guess I will deal no matter what happens, but I guess I will deal with it no matter what.

Take Care T!


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Thanks Kel-

I know he needs time, but it is just killing me. I guess I was hoping that the New Year would bring a New Us. I know I shouldn't be expecting anything, but I am not doing the best with that one. I know he has come a long way. I need to be thankful for that and just be still. I guess I will.

Great to hear from you Kel! Have a happy new year, still looking for that New Years Miracle!


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yo

right back to this dog pile


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Mt-I know how hard it is but you have the answer--be still--for now.

Try to remember that if it is worth it, if it is actually going to work, it will take time and that is important for true healing. Please give both of you the opportunity to do it the right way.

Remember, this will be a new you, a new R, so the New Year is bringing that. So dont ignore the little miracles, sometimes they r the best kind.


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hi MT

this places draws us back or me back everytime

I got nothing else


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hi kel


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hi tomato go to your thread


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ok I will

what'd u leave me kel

a smith and wesson maybe ..bad jk


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is my thread on fire ..what...with that in mind maybe I won't rush over there haha


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things probably burnin to the ground . just like the rest of the sheeeeet


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Morning MT,

Hi ya T and Kel. We're all up early this morning! Happy new year friends. Let's open the champagne for all of us with broken hearts!

MT, remember when I said that as you move towards getting your M back it seems to actually get harder? I think this is a bit of what you are experiencing.

When you are scared and only have to focus on saving your M all of your energy goes towards that. When we get some positive movement from the S we sort of relax a bit and our own anger begins to surface.

Kel is right. You CAN do this. You are one of the strongest here that I know. (BG too!) Be still and just keep breathing.

I love you all.

Last edited by 1hope; 12/31/08 02:14 PM.

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Morning Hope and yes New Year's Champagne sounds really good but I have to drive for 3 hours or so today so it will have to wait for later.

Happy New Year.


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By the way Tomato.....

Wanted to tell you that I actually got a hard hat for Christmas. From my boss, with my name and the state seal on it.

I thought it was pretty cool. We are supposed to wear them when we do construction projects and build jobs etc. Now I have one of my own and don't have to borrow from the contractor on site!


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neat \:\)


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in case you thought I had sauntered away

i was out for a bit replying to kel on mine


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Originally Posted By: kelaaron
Morning Hope and yes New Year's Champagne sounds really good but I have to drive for 3 hours or so today so it will have to wait for later.

Happy New Year.
that reminds me I have got to make a trip to the state liquor store (the puritan way of doing the booze sales in the Quaker/Keystone state) before the lines startr forming.

Lots of everyday lushes up in thuis neck of the woods. Not much else to do for these folks to do tother than pickle their livers and many of them know how. It ranks as a high alchi place in PA...wilkes-barre/ scranton area


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Morning Hope- I love the hard had that is a great gift!

Thanks to all of you guys! I guess I was just in a fantasy land of wanting my H back. I wake up in the morning, and I just hope he might be sleeping out on the couch and I didn't hear him come in. But we all know that isn't happening. I need to replenish the patience bottle!

I am going to pass on the champagne for a Bud Light or Margarita! Champagne makes my face hot! LOL!!

Thanks for all of the support. I really need it today! Thanks again for all the prayers and great friends I have made! I really need all of you!


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Hey T
I have family in the Falls Creek/Reynoldsville area, was there this summer! My Dad is from there went to Indiana University of PA.


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T I too have family in that neck of the woods. Small world huh?


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morning ladies and tomato. hang in there mt, its hard, trust me i know. we shall have a BETTER new year, one way or the other, we will.
love ya girlie.


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ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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BG! At last!! You are the last one that I wanted to say Happy New year to...and I love you T w/an i!

Take care of yourself sweet girl. I'll share a beer with you at midnight!!!


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Hope, I will drink one at 11:00, so I am having one with you at your midnight too!


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yeah me too! lol, then we are together at all our times lol!!!


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Ok! I'll have one at midnight, and 1:00, if I can stay up that late.

Well, better go get in the shower!


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Sitting here flipping channels and on Speed is a replay of the Barrett Jackson Classic Car auction from last January. That makes me want to go to Arizona even more now, seeing the cars again! I just hope it is warm. I guess no matter what, I want to go to Arizona. I know I am terrible!


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i am watching a bowl game right now, its only 52 there, but hell thats warmer than here lol!!!


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I looked ahead the 10 day forecast and other than a couple of days of rain, in the 50's they are calling for 70. That will do just nicely. With my luck it will probably be in the 50's with rain the week we go!


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