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#1669679 12/09/08 07:56 PM
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Hi all, I haven't been here in awhile. If you remember me I spent a very long time in limbo. My husband although having walked out on our family refused to admit to a relationship with ow - who he moved in with and lied on more than one occasion. He also was a horrible cake eater constantly telling me he was moving home and showing up for "love". GAL was very difficult because it was always met with anger, resentment, and intense paranoia by my H that I was "with someone".

Finally after discovering for the thirs time in 8 months that he had been lying about where he lived Sunday I got H to sign separation papers. He would still not even admit that he talks to ow but in a fit of anger did sign.

Yesterday morning when he came to pick up my daughter he pushed me against the wall and put his forearm to my throat and when I mentioned the police he said I could kill you right now. If you remember my story this is not the first time he has been violent but it is the first time he was completly sober and we were not fighting.

I thought I should get it on record and that maybe he could get a warning. I guess there are new laws in ontario to protect women. I had no choice, he was arrested and spent the night in prison awaiting his bail hearing. His mother just called he has been released into her custody. He is not allowed to call me text me or be within 100 metres, if he is to see my daughter it will be at his parents house where he will be forced to live and they will pick her up here so there is no contact.

I am happy the torroizing texts and calls will come to an end, I wish it was much less dramatic. I really am worried about him. And I feel so horrible for my daughter.


Me~34
H~38
D6.5

EA/PA-DEC.07

Moved out~Apr.13,08
Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08
No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
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I am glad your are safe. Please don't let your guard down. Why do you feel horrible for your daughter? You did not do this. Your job is to protect yourd aughter and no way in hell would i let him see her even at his parents house.

I would make it were a social worker had to present. WE had to impliment that with my sister, and she had to pay for it out of her pocket.(she is the crazy one)

Did I ever "think" she would hurt her kids? No But we as a family decided we couldn't live with an "I think". We just needed to know the kids were safe and at that point in my sisters life it was a gamble. That was years ago and she has since proved that she is safe after many drug therapies and counseling. She was in a bad place at that point in her life and right now that's were your husband is too. Stay strong for daughter and prepare yourself for a lot of pressure from those that you love to drop it or let it go.

Why should he get a warning? Isn't that what he was giving you?


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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I am so glad you came back here because you know you will get a ton of support and not just me chatting away with you. I love you to pieces and I don't want any harm to come to you or your sweet angel.

Put the cops on speed dial on your phone just in case...pretty please.

kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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Snow, you did the right thing. Violence cannot be tolerated because, as you have seen, it escalates. I am happy to hear that his time with both you and your daughter are only under controlled circumstances. I wish you the best going forward. You should not feel bad for him, he made his own choices and he needs to live with the consequences. The legal system deals with bullies. It is the only thing the bully understands.

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Hello, dear friend,

Like everyone has already said, you did the right thing. Violence and threats of bodily harm should never be tolerated. You know we support you 100% here.

We're glad to see you're taking care of yourself and your DD.

Hugs and blessings and prayers.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
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There was one thing I was never good at, setting boundaries, I always answered the phone, texted back, ect. I am not sure if in the last 10 years there has been a day that I did not speak to my H. And never 2 in a row in the last 13. Now we will not speak for at least a month maybe years depending on what the results of his trial are. It is sad. But the boundaries have been set for me.


Me~34
H~38
D6.5

EA/PA-DEC.07

Moved out~Apr.13,08
Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08
No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
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When is his trial? How much trouble is he really in? It should be alot but I don't know much about how that works.

Don't you dare feel bad for going to the police. Your H did this. He became violent and you did what any person in the same boat would do. You don't need to put up with that stuff!

kat


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S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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Hey Snow. You did what you had to do. I think it just would have gotten worse if you didn't do something about it then.

I am thinking of you. I think this 'forced' space you will have will give you time to heal and your H time to realize things will be changing.

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Snow, so glad you are back posting here!!! I couldn't have made it through this past year without this place, and I think it is a really good support system. It sounds like you are doing everything you should be to protect yourself and your family. You should be proud of that! Your H has some problems he needs to work on, and that is something he needs to do for himself. You have my support 100%!!! ((((Snow))))


Me 53
D18, S24
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I spoke to MIL a few times yesterday as I am required to for arrangements for D5 and finances. She treated me different yeaterday then she did the past two-I thought she was very angry at me.

She said she had some "stuff" to bring for me. It was money that I had been owed on November 30(and told I wasnt getting), my garage door opener, my car keys, keys to my doors (all things I have been asking for for months) - there was also an additional $200 for money charged to the credit card, and a credit card cut in half - one that he must have taken from a drawer in my house iin the past few weeks.

She said that H had gone on his own and got information about anger management and a name of someone he can see in the area(I think it is something chemical). She made some sort of comment about the trial and that it has been a hard year and a lot of stuff might come out - LIke "It might come out snow that you contact him by text and phone"

I said "and why wouldnt I? Until the last few weeks he was still claiming to want to move home. I said I do not care what comes out I have nothing to be ashamed of. " My H was very odd, we would get along day to day as long as everythign was going his way so yes I responded to texts and calls. It was if I went out that the harassment would start.

I just feel so lost, I am glad this is coming to an end, but then I think about the holidays and the fact that it will be 6 weeks until I get to speak to him. I think about Christmas and how awful it will be in the afternoon. And then I think about New Years, and the fact that it was New Years day last year I found an email that said "Happy 2008 OW I like to call this the year of you and I" and that is what started it all. And it has been such a waste of an entire year of my existance.

I have so much to say but most of it is moaning, and I really should be getting ready for work. TTYL, Denise


Me~34
H~38
D6.5

EA/PA-DEC.07

Moved out~Apr.13,08
Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08
No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
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