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Thanks to all of you.

Amy, thank you very much for sharing your story.

I don't know how much I will be able to talk for the next few days, as my husband..came and took the cpu from our home. Iguess he didn't want me to find any other info on computer. He said it was broken and he is replacing it with a new one for me and kids. It worked perfectly well last night.
He did this while I was at work.
So I can only talk while at work and that will be limited.

I do realize that he is just incapable of being in a commited relationship. Amy as I read your story, I wasn't just reading words I felt absolutely everything you were saying because that is exactly how I felt and what I have been through.

Today anyway I do feel more of a sense of peace. Unfortunately the D proceedings are getting nastier as he funds have been cut off to our bank acct..he stopped all direct deposits today and I canceled the credit cards. Now spousal support and child support will have to be filed and I have to watch every penny.
He doesn't want to play nice now so I can't either.
I have to protect myself, but I will do it as civil as possible for sake of kids. Although I must say every chance he gets he throws them in there..

for ex:...S's friend sent H email saying house wasn't as much fun since he has been gone..H sends me text telling me this..Today sends email saying now he doesn't think he likes me having kids if kids friends are commenting on the house and "quality" of enviroment. H always played ps3 with boys and wrestled..sorry I don't do that. I know he is just trying to get at me..because I am a great mom, granted I have been sad lately but I take very good care of my kids and I didn't leave!!!

Not looking forward to going home..H says he will be at house tonight.. don't know why..there isn't much to get. I think he does it as a control thing. Had to contact lawyer abt that. I don't like that he can come and go as he pleases since he moved out. Now we have to file something so I can get inclusive possession of house until we settle it.

(((Sgctxok)))...to your question...If he was ill I would probably forgive him. I think I would forgive him if he was sorry..problem is he isn't. What I realize is he doesn't even recognize his part in this. He thinks things are very black and white. He doesn't look for meaning behind behavior, he hasn't.

The entire past year as we discussed why I did what I did and he what he did, I grew to understand and accept his faults and realize why he made certain choices. That is not to say I agreed with them. But actions started to have meaning and made sense. And the meanings weren't always what I orignally thought. He can't do that..won't even try. Just says you did X..therefore you are the problem, and I won't let it go. If I try and explain or anyone he doesn't see his part in the behavior.

I just don't think he can. Maybe it is too hard for him to do it and admitt his part. I don't know. So I actually feel sorry for him in some ways. I feel like he is just searching for something but will never really find it because everytime he thinks he does he will be disappointed as soon something goes wrong. He wants to control everything around him. But he really doesn't have much control of himself inside.

I know I will always care and love him. But I do not respect him or trust him and because of that there is no going back. Only going forward. I have no need to play games or even worry about him anymore.

So this was a HUGE wake up call for me. HUGE!!! I know I will be okay in the future. And with the help of wonderful friends like all of you.. I am sure it won't be long.

Thanks again.
Keep the prayers coming. I know I will need them.

Love to all of you.

Kristi


M:35
H:39
S:13
D:9
M:10 yrs
T:12 yrs
Bomb 2/9/08
Divorce filed 10/17/08
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Wowowow {{{{Kristi}}}} I would be livid that hub took my computer from the house while I was at work..you are handling that MUCH better than I would..def talk to a lawyer about what he can and can't do and the same with cutting off the money, which I know is coming my way soon also \:\(

I HATE so much that you are having to go thru this and if you need ANYTHING contact me either here or in the alt univ and I will be glad to talk to you as long/as much as you want \:\)

Hugs and love to you!! You are a strong, amazing woman

Tawnya


Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
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Tawnya,

I wish I could contact you on FB.. but it is blocked at work.. so ..no access right now.

Talked to L abt alot.. Just got a letter from H L reguarding me closing my credit card which he was autho signer on. He was only one using it and he was using for work and fun..but he has yet to give me and expense report payment since JULY...thousands of dollars at this point owed..when I found out he had another card in his name only available for him to use I canceled his access. I don't need him ruining my credit. He has always been great at making money and horrible at paying bills and handling finances.

Anyway he has been saying alot of nasty things. Still trying to claim computer was broke. Said he will return it when fixed..I think that means when he cleans off what he needs.

Just got custody aggreement that I need to look over. this is all happening so fast and with being so angry I don't want to make any wrong choices.

last night when I got home, H also took out the trash..but then in the clean trash can threw out all the pictures of us and items from wedding...and a few other memorablia. Left trash can in kitchen for me to see.. I took the stuff out and saved. If he went so far as to actually take all the trash out he should have thrown that out too, but he was definately trying to hurt me.

I mentioned something to him about cleaning up and he said no, problem he was trying to help me declutter...

this whole thing is sad. He won't stop texting me now...I am ignoring him and he won't stop. He said some really nasty things about how I am the one to blame, abt how me being depressed was why he doesn't love me anymore and I said I am sorry you can't forgive people when they have problems. I am sorry you can't see that others hurt sometimes..and some other things along those lines..
Basically he keeps saying he doesn't care at all about me, so I figured fine I am not going to play this game. I said something to him about how I forgave him the first time he made a big mistake years ago..(he cheated then) and he just said ..Oh I don't know if that was a mistake...and now I am done..I refuse to talk to him..So he called me at work 5x and I just hung up and now my phone is vibrating to death.

So I am here..just venting..avoiding the house b/c he is there with kids. Supposed to be taking D to movies. Now he says he is keeping her for the night.

I just want this to end and I want to move on...

Talk to you all later.
Hopefully I will have a computer back in a few days!!

Kristi


M:35
H:39
S:13
D:9
M:10 yrs
T:12 yrs
Bomb 2/9/08
Divorce filed 10/17/08
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 498
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Kristi
Sorry, I have to say this...Your H is a world class A$$ even I don't know him.
You are doing the right thing, just ignore him. He is acting like a teenager. There is no point to argue with a kid.....
Stay calm and look over the legal matters, please protect yourself at all cost.
Stay strong and take care of yourself....do something can cheer you up.
Come here and vent...we are here for you.

NW626


Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
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Originally Posted By: nw626
Kristi
Sorry, I have to say this...Your H is a world class A$$ even I don't know him.
You are doing the right thing, just ignore him. He is acting like a teenager. There is no point to argue with a kid.....
Stay calm and look over the legal matters, please protect yourself at all cost.
Stay strong and take care of yourself....do something can cheer you up.
Come here and vent...we are here for you.

NW626


What 626 said. Ignore the petulant, thrashing child.

Puppy

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Thirded - absolutely do not respond. I would even turn the phone off, and go have a nice hot bath.


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Good gracious yes..the teenager has entered the building..oh my gosh, first the computer, and then those pictures..THAT is just meanness..ugh I HATE so much that I didn't give you my info on FB when we first got it with each other..can you go to one of those places that have internet access where you pay like $5 an hour or something to use the computer? OR..some car places, like my Honda dealership, has an internet room for business people that has 3-4 computers if you can get on FB from there?

ANYWAY..I will send you my info on FB..so if you get it and want to call PLEASE DO!

Hugs to you Ms Strong Woman {{{{Kristi}}}}}

Tawnya


Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
Four


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Local libraries should have free computer access....


Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
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Thanks nw..didn't even THINK Of that..of course \:\)

Tawnya


Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
Four


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Hey,

Guys..Thanks again.

((Tawyna)).. I will go over to my friends later and see if I can borrow her computer to access my FB and get your info. Thank you.

You guys should have seen the texts that he kept sending last night..for an hours straight. I was proud of myself because I ignored all of them. He started sending things saying come on "I need you more now that ever..we can get through this..just talk to me".... Then he would say ." what did I do...I just want to have a conversation..why won't you talk to me"..." then it would say..." we can make this work"... it was such BS.. I guess he figured if he was ignorant enough i would answer and start the game again with him.

He then called me and my son answered..I said ..can't talk putting away groceries..so my son said mom will call back. I didn't want to get into anything in front of him. He kept calling..now what bothered me most was he had our daughter so he was doing all of this while she was there. Eventually I just picked up and said what did you need..he tried to start asking questions..what did he say. I refused to get into it so i just said if you do not need anything at this moment goodbye and hung up...he then just sent text saying...I tried.


today he came into bank..to take care of a few pending issues. I work at the bank and he could have gone to any other branch but he came where I was only because he is too stupid too figure out how things really work.

After he left he sent me an email saying thanks for your help and have a happy new year..I guess he is trying to me nice. Again I will not even respond. Not trying to be mean but I don't want to get into the song and dance anymore.

I just can not believe how bad it got. I really thought he was much more of a stand up guy.

Well Happy New Year to you all...

Looking forward to a whole new year..


M:35
H:39
S:13
D:9
M:10 yrs
T:12 yrs
Bomb 2/9/08
Divorce filed 10/17/08
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