Well, after 15 long months at my mother's house.....I'm free!!! I spent last night at my new apartment. I finally got the bed put together and my living room furniture was delivered last night. Everything is coming together and it is looking pretty good. I slept like a baby in my bed, hadn't slept in it since I moved to mom's.
While at my mom's I pretty much just stuck to my room when I was home so it was nice to have the whole apartment to myself and being able to roam as I please. I just felt this freedom. I think being on my own is really going to help with my moving forward and letting go of xh...as well as my overall mental health. I love my mom but there is just something depressing to me about living in that house.
I am supposed to get cable on Saturday....hopefully before the Alabama game.
I'll put some pics on FB when I get everything put up.
I am supposed to get the internet and cable Saturday. I am officially at the new apartment but still have a lot of small things to move. I should be completely finished by this weekend.
Last night I got everything put up in the living room, and put my new tv stand together then just sat back, had a beer, listened to the radio and just kind of took it all in. I am feeling at peace. I feel like I have other things to focus on besides xh. He has not even been on my mind and a part of me is glad I am no longer with him ...(did I just say that?!?). When he left, he took the stress with him. His problems are no longer my problems. Life is good.
I have had some really dark periods since this started. REALLY dark. Especially when I was still in Texas. I serioiusly didn't think I would ever recover...and I may not be fully recovered yet, but I know I WILL be.
My MIL once said to me "I hate to say this because he is my son...but I think you will be much better off without him in the long run. I know you don't see that now, but you will." I see it now. I have progressed so much further without him...personally, finacially, and professionally.
I totally get you about the feeling free feeling, I was in pins and needles when with stbx, with a dark cloud above my head, that uncertainty... no more.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
