Yesterday ended up being a good day. On my way to the mediator I just kept thinking that I have to let go of my anger and my issues with Carrie and simply go in there as a father rather than a husband. I wanted to make sure that I did things the way they should be done and not simply act out of my own hurt, anger, and fears.
When it came to Tawny and determining her custody I told the mediator and Carrie that my goal is for my D to have a mother, not the opposite. Therefore I a tiered custody scenario based on Carrie and Tawny each seeing a therapist for the next year was put into place. If Carrie attends and improves then her vistation with Tawny will be returned in full in one years time. However, if she does not do what is right then Tawny remains with me based on the decisions of a mutually agreed upon counsellor/therapist.
Her child support as well will start off based on me having sole custody of Tawny and then be adjusted every 3 months for a year bringing it back to the current level if all goes well.
I agreed on her move once all the facts were on the table. She is moving to Mississippi, however it is only 18 miles from where we currently live. She also agreed to sign an indemnity clause stating that she won't enroll either child in school down there and that the state of Tennessee maintains jurisdiction on the case.
If she breaks this rule then she has agreed to pay all Lawyers fees and court costs that I would incur should I have to take her back to court. The bottom line on the house was that a friend at work had lost a child from illness and didnt want to stay in that home because of memories. It is a great home in a good location with a family oriented neighborhood. It will be good for Ross while he stays with her. He will have a safe neighborhood to ride his bike and play in, that is what really matters.
We also came to an agreement on the splitting of all marital debts and assetts. So once the Lawyers type it up and we both sign it before a judge, I will be legally divorced. It is time.....
I think it through Carrie off to see me not personalize the case. I did throw a few verbal jabs at her and her attorney, but nothing over the top.
On my way home I texted her and told her that Ross had a school function that I was taking him to and I thought that he would be happy if she came as well. She decided to meet us ther and we all ate together and watched the choir perform. It was good for our son to see that mom and dad can get along and he still has both his parents to support him with his school functions.
When I got home Tawny had her report card waiting for me. Last year was not a good one for her, she ended with a 1.7 GPA. Her reprot card was good, 3 B's,1 C, and 1 A. I texted Carrie and let her know how Tawny did. She sent me back a text that said, " wow so she really improved". I texted back and told her that yes, Tawny did great this term and I am very proud of her. She replied and said she was to and thanked me for sharing that info.
I think it was a good step. I truly hope that Carrie can get her shiit together and play some kind of role in Tawny's life at some point. No teenage girl should be without their mom IMHO, and I will be praying that they can both get it resolved over the next year.
So as I said, overall a good day. I am happy with the result and to be honest, it fealt great being able to let go and put my kids needs ahead of mine.
I'm soooo glad to read this. Good on you and good on Carrie for stepping up to the plate, sounds as though things went well. Interaction seemed positive and to actually get together and support your son WOW!!
You sound very positive and upbeat, maybe there was something magical in that bowl of soup.
Just catching up a little - as always, good talking to you this afternoon, and glad to see things are finally coming to a conclusion - sad that it came to this perhaps, but you deserve closure here so you can go on with your life in a way that's best for you and your kids. Finish line's in sight, don't let up now...
We need to GOLF soon dude, the weather is just toooo fantastic - and why couldn't I have bet on the Illini THIS weekend...
Kev
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius
"God alone decides the contest; but we must put our shoulders to the wheel." -Adm. D.G. Farragut
Kevin-38; XW-36 M-2.5, together 4 Bomb-1/6/07; D-6/27/07
whats up y'all??? Not a lot going on with me. Same old same old.
Tawny hasnt seen her mom in a little over 3 months now.We start family therapy next Monday, should be interesting. As far as Carrie is concerned it seems that the finality of our battle has given her a calming affect. She hasn't raised a fuss at all since the mediation and actually has been pretty nice when we have spoken.
I told her Tawny needed some school clothes and she sent an extra $50 with her support payment. Overall things are going ok for me. Feels kind of strange not having anything to post, but I guess I should be happy.
As far as me, everything is pretty good. The economy is definitely hitting my job, but I feel pretty confident that my position is secure. I am still seeing the same girl and things are going really well with her. Overall I am pretty happy right now.
Hope everyone else is doing well. I will try and catch up on some threads soon.
