YES - I really felt it was unfair. I had to pay him to leave me and run off with maggot. VERY UNFAIR!
YES!!! You pegged it!! And wanna know what's really gonna tick me off...he has been googling vacation spots. I am assuming he'll take his big money and go on vacation. Blecky.
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Because I used to walk on eggshells all the time. When he walked through that door - I never knew what I was gonna get. A lot of the time he was just down, depressed. And I HATED that
Yes, H always has battled depression but never got help. I *so* know how you feel.
I am not bitter about the house money (he is actually taking less than half in the end, but not by much). I am working past the bitterness about the retirement. But..like you said...
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I still work. I can earn more to make up for what I lost.
It really sounds like you are going to be ok. Attitude is everything. And I've been at this a lot longer than you. You will be surprised how much better you will feel when the D is behind you. You still have small kids and this really sucks for them, but in the long run - I'll bet they'll be fine. It is often easier to parent alone (believe it or not), especially if the other parent wasn't "onside" with you all the time. I did most of the parenting anyway.
Becoming bitter is one of the worst thing> I struggled with it. I will never forget what happened. But I am getting past it. You will too.
I'll bet they'll be fine. It is often easier to parent alone (believe it or not), especially if the other parent wasn't "onside" with you all the time. I did most of the parenting anyway.
Its so much easier to parent without him around, and actually, I am sure he feels that way too. We are on the same side (most of the time) and back each other up, but I am just so darned uncomfortable around him at times, I am more on edge with the kiddos.
I don't want to be bitter. I have forgiven him but am having trouble forgetting and healing.
I need this to be officially over soon, it will just feel so much better. I know, I hear everyone saying "its just a piece of paper". And I know, it won't hurt less when its official, but I just need it to heal. Can't explain why.
I totally understand. I felt the same way too. Others here and some of my friends don't feel the need for the divorce. Even my L asked my why I wanted one. But some situations warrant it. My ex was very unpredictable and volatile. He even spent all of our daugther's education fund. Not someone I wanted attached to me financially in any way at all.
Times makes the pain go away. I will not ever forget what has happened but I do forget details until someone mentions them. Like yesterday - my best friend was saying how she remembers seeing me in a police car (that was 26 years ago this month). Ex had been suicidal (made several different types of attempts on the same day). The cops had found him in his car after overdosing on antidepressants. He had lay down to die. They came and got me, told me and took me to the hospital. I had remembered some of his attempts but had forgotten this part of it all. Part of me still wonders why I worked so hard to keep him alive and motivated only to have him hurt me so cruelly later on.
Sorry, off on a tangent. But I guess I'm trying to say that the memories dull after a while until it is brought up. It never goes away - it is part of your history, but it will get better.
Get your finality. You will move forward much faster in your life after that.
Another sunny day! Too much on my plate. Never got to packing yesterday but I did start cleaning out my cottage which gave me more travel wardrobe options. I will start in the next hour.
Today is a United Way lunch overlooking the Falls. I also need to clean my car (in and out) since I'll use the valet and no one wants to drive up in a dirty car. I'd like to do a bit of shopping as well and have to get stuff done for the w/e (like wrapping birthday presents for everyone there).
Heading to Buffalo late afternoon and sleeping over at my friend's home. She is flying with me early in the morning and lives about 10 min from the airport - BONUS! The others get in late afternoon. Not a lot going on other than Pep Rally, Tailgate party and football game. Of course we'll shop and do fun stuff.
Thanks Barbie. And yes, I feel the need for this divorce. I am tired of my husband continuously cheating on me.
One more thing that's hard for me is that he is walking away paying NOTHING to me, no spousal, no child support. I didn't ask for spousal, and because of the 50/50 split of the girlies, and me making more money than him, I get no child support. I might have to get a better paying job.
So, yes, I am in my dream job and might have to change because I want to keep the girls in their house. I am bitter about that. I will have the same bills/bigger house payment and H will owe nothing. Even though its 50/50 the girls will be here a ton more than that, and he knows it.
lwb: No clouds here! I understand totally. But sometimes we have to rise above it. I have a disabled son here. My ex walked and let's me take care of him for the rest of my life. But that's ok - far better than needing his opinion every time I seek medical help for him. Heck - I don't even inform him when he's in the hospital.
Gorgeous afternoon! The lunch was awesome! Leenie joined me. We were in seats right by the window, overlooking the Falls.
Been packing and getting ready for the w/e. Going to be fun. Have to get up EARLY tommorrow but its all good.
Hope Ash can deal with her drama while I'm gone. It is like a roller coaster. She works with her BF and former BF (the one she got back with last week) as well as the BF's ex girlfriend and her cousin and Ashley's cousin. Small world. And the BF's ex and cousin are on to her about "stealing" the BF. It is like Peyton Place. I never know from one minute to the next if she is with A, N, or single. I have advised her to step back from the drama. To put up her hand like a stop sign while working and let them know work comes first. But I know what it is like at her age. Every time Josh phones - he never knows what he's going to hear. I wonder what it is like for him. Someone who has never been married or have kids. Now I know why he is kind of afraid of her - LOL!
OK, can't stay here. Gotta finish packing and hit the road.
