swirly pre-nuptial script with complicated engravings of the vineyard. Sure, the wine might be great but why put it in a bottle that looks like a wedding invitation, i.e. something that resembles what everyone else does?
The job of a wine label is to tell a quick story that attracts the eye. There needs to be a dynamic there, a sense of involvement. Something that says, I'm interesting! I have hidden depths! Don't you want to get to know me better? It needs to beckon you but not to quickly, not too boldly. Otherwise you'll find it overbearing after a couple of glasses.
Hmmm.... am I still talking about wine labels or has this spilled over into my personal life?
the wine has kicked in. I've become contemplative and unable to concentrate on writing. So, I find myself back here. A voice in the wilderness. It reminds me of when I used to host a blues & jazz radio show - I'd talk into the mike and sometimes forget there were a lot of people listening. Sometimes? Okay, disciplinary actions were required, but that's beside the point. I feel that same state of talking to nothingness sometimes.
Where am I? I guess the low point. Which is fine, it's much easier to lift yourself up then watch yourself sink down. And I've been lifting.
I feel like my marriage was a total sham. I don't want to relate to my XW anymore, although I know the minute we see each other that electricity will fly between us. I almost want to take a leave of absence to avoid that. I know she is who she is and I accept that. I knew her weaknesses and I didn't play to those. But she wasn't there for me either. She never made me feel loved, or special, and I deserve that. We all deserve that.
GAL, PMA? Not so much. But mental stability has leveled off, which is a good thing. I'm scared at how quickly I feel I've withdrawn since last tuesday when the judge decreed the D. I can honestly say that I don't want a R with XW. And I know she feels the same way. How odd - we were hugging when we last saw each other and now I feel nothing but animosity. I can't say I understand human emotion, but I'm certainly involved in it.
I'm glad I'm taking some time to just be alone. It feels really really lonely right now, but it's helping me to sort through things. And like RMG recommended, it's giving me time to think about what I want in my next relationship and how I'll go about achieving that!
In the meantime, I face months of trying to make myself feel better about being alone. It'll be fine. I'm in a great place. I wish I had more friends - but that's a guy thing. I'll start getting involved again. And someday, I'll no longer have to actively avoid XW.
We played with the boomerang on the Alvord Desert Playa, the Bonneville salt flats, and the Black Rock desert Playa.
A boomerang might've been fun on the black rock desert, but a flame thrower shooting burning propane 25 feet into the air is even funner. Especially when you're wearing leopard print!
This one is a tough one... It was real at one time. Sometimes people love other people the best way they know how - she just didn't have what it takes to sustain a M. It is a little like asking a blind person to see - just can't do it...
This all happened so suddenly and you may still be in shock. Pontificate - do what you need to do. Bounce around emotionally - that is normal. You have posted what is in your head. It will take time to travel from your head to your heart.
I am sorry there is no shortcut... There will be a bit of a void as you transition from your old life to your new one. You are right - you will get there. It is a little strange to think about it now - but there will come a time when all that you will feel towards her is a calm quiet indifference. I wish you didn't work in the same place - that makes it harder.
A boomerang might've been fun on the black rock desert, but a flame thrower shooting burning propane 25 feet into the air is even funner. Especially when you're wearing leopard print!
The boomerang would have been interesting with the 40,000 people when you were there.
Please tell me you have some video to put on FB of the leopard print bathrobe dude playing with fire! I can understand you not wanting to put it out in public do to the possible inebriated state you were in.
