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A Message from Michele
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Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: hope3343] #1605150
09/27/08 02:03 AM
09/27/08 02:03 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,144
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imLIN Offline OP
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imLIN  Offline OP
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Posts: 2,144
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Well the extended family was at extremes...when H and I were on speaking terms my father would speak to him (suprised me) saying that if he was being civil to me there was no reason not to...

For religious and moral reasons (which H was aware of and respected)my mother, sister, and even our adult daughters didn't speak to him unless it was family business (adult dauther2 didn't find any business necessary with him for the two years he was gone). My neice, whose wedding we were at when he kissed me "good bye", well I am not sure if she is speaking to him yet...they have been together at family functions but she was so hurt by what he did to me that she literally cut him out of ALL of her wedding pictures! She does attend family functions with all of us and know one would know how she felt...like I said, I haven't noticed if she has talked to him or not...but he understands now how much he hurt everyone else...not just me and he allows them their feelings...doesn't push or try and explain anything to them...if they want to talk they will...he is open...

My brother has spoken to him but in the beginning he was mad at me for taking him back...he went through a nasty divorce with his first wife (she cheated and got pregnant!)and I was there with him through that...so he felt he needed to defend me...but he is okay now..

As far as it is now things are good with everyone...even our old friends...they see how I feel and realize it was a good thing for us to reconcile...

And...I NEVER EVER thought I would see the end of this...I never thought I could outlast his MLC...I feel like the winner of Survivor...outwit, outplay, outlast...it took faith...not just in "us" but in me...I had to come to terms with the fact that H might not return...I had to find peace with that and know that I would be OKAY...and I prayed a lot of me, my family, and to make the best decisions for us all...

Lin


Status:

Happy and together
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: imLIN] #1606519
09/29/08 03:41 AM
09/29/08 03:41 AM
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 724
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hope3343 Offline
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hope3343  Offline
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Posts: 724
imLIN, I APPRECIATE your story. With my H leaving on WED and having his A it has been very discouraging. I am going to continue to work on myself and GAL. I am going to do everything to delay any D talk and hope H sees the good changes in me. I am praying and have turned H over to God and let Him work on him.
I also am holding off telling my family till late November. I dread it.
I want to win survivor also. thanks again for sharing


Me 53
H 50
D16, D29
M 22 years
bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H
8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also
bomb II - H moves 10/1
expose ow 10/22
D to be final 9-09
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: hope3343] #1653170
11/19/08 01:15 PM
11/19/08 01:15 PM
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 372
Dallas Texas
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TxMomw/2girls Offline
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TxMomw/2girls  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 372
Dallas Texas
Linda,

You have posted on my thread many times and I've told you there that you have been so helpful. I use your story to many of my friends.

Although I do wonder if my H is in MLC as he is being more accountable to us and our girls. Also, he doesn't talk about anything to me.. if I get in my occassional R talks he usually shuts down or doesn't say anything that I want to hear just more hurtful stuff.

anyhow, continue to pop over on my threads.... I'm sure I'll need the support in this long lonely journey...

I'm so happy for you and your marriage.....


Me: 38/H:40
M:7yrs
TG: 10yrs
2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old
Bomb 8/22/08
OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old
Moved out 9/22/08

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1631985&page=2#Post1631985

Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: TxMomw/2girls] #1654875
11/21/08 04:53 AM
11/21/08 04:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,099
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happynow Offline
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Linda,

What a great story!! I haven't followed your thread but I'm so happy for you & your marriage!!

I know my ex is in MLC, has been since 2004 or 2005, met OW June 2007, she lives in another state & he told me he wanted D in Sept. 2007. Rushed everything, now he has married her but I know it will not last, this OW has been married 3 or 4 times before. I'm working on GAL for me but I still miss him so bad!!! For some reason I haven't totally given up on him, I don't know why & I could be so wrong.

Anyway, thank you for posting, you are an inspiration for all of us!

((((HUGS)))

Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: imLIN] #1660258
11/27/08 10:55 PM
11/27/08 10:55 PM
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,334
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Truelove Offline
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Truelove  Offline
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Hi ImLin,
I wish you a lovely Thanksgiving. Take care.

Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: Truelove] #1660654
11/28/08 07:53 PM
11/28/08 07:53 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425
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sandi2 Offline
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Posts: 18,425
Lin......Thank God, I've found you again! I am really concerned about a LBW that is having a really bad time of it yesterday and today. Would you please go to her thread and say something to give her hope? With me being an old WAW.......as someone said..."from the dark side" (wow), she probably knows that I can't fully understand the impact of her pain. I can try, but I have not been in those shoes. But I immediately thought of you. You will forever be my sister in heart for recuing me from ruining me life. So, please, go to this helpless young woman who is in so much pain. I am worried about her.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1660409&page=0&fpart=5

Thanks Lin.
Sandi


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: sandi2] #1660670
11/28/08 08:26 PM
11/28/08 08:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,106
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MsMelancoly Offline
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Hi, I don't know any of you on this thread & don't know if my H is really in MLC (apprears to be). Anyway, I just wanted to say what a great thread this is, so informative & inspirational. So many things I can relate to. Thank you.

Congrats to you, who made it through your "Survivor Mini-Series"!


Me39, XH45
Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats
Divorced 6/4/09
Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: MsMelancoly] #1661253
11/29/08 10:51 PM
11/29/08 10:51 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425
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sandi2 Offline
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sandi2  Offline
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Dear Lin, I was in such a hurry when I posted last time that I didn't take time to tell you how good it was to see you here again helping people. You are gifted. I would love to hear from you.

Sandi


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: sandi2] #1728113
03/04/09 11:37 PM
03/04/09 11:37 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,165
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sunshinelewis Offline
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Lin are you still around?


_________________________________________
M:42
H:40
S:18
M:20yrs/together 21yrs
Bomb:9/08 ILYBNILWY
Sep:9/18/08 "ow" :25
Filed:11/18/08
D:12/8/08
M:Different 26 yr. old 7/09.
Newborn 4/10
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: imLIN] #1796783
07/08/09 05:26 AM
07/08/09 05:26 AM
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 12
MN, USA
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ella Offline
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ella  Offline
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Posts: 12
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Vow, that is amazing. And hope giving. Thank you for posting this.


"Adultery is not about sex or romance. Ultimately, it is about how little we mean to one another."
Leonard Michaels
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