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A Message from Michele
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#1595555 09/18/08 04:59 AM
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sgctxok Offline OP
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(The following is quoted from Michele on a previous KLA forum)

"1. The first Golden Rule, "Do real giving" talks about the importance of doing to others what others would have done unto them, a definite twist on the real Golden Rule. What do you think about this?

2. The second Golden Rule, "Don't forget to laugh," reminds you about the importance of humor in marriage. Can you think of a time when you solved a marital problem by using your sense of humor?

3. The third Golden Rule, "Listen to each other," reminds you about the importance of putting aside your commentaries, reactions, and defensiveness and just simply acknowledging your partner's point of view. What do you think about this idea?

4. The fourth Golden Rule, "Live by the stranger standard," discusses the importance of treating your spouse at least as well as you might a complete stranger. What do you think about this?

5. The fifth Golden Rule, "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself," emphasizes the vast benefits of letting go and forgiving your partner. Do you find it difficult to forgive your partner when you feel wronged? What methods have you found helpful to move you beyond a lack of forgiveness? You can re-read the article I wrote on forgiveness, if that will help.

6. Can you think of any other inspirational Golden Rules that you would like to add to my list?

Well?
Michele"


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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Sgctxok,
These rules will be a good reminder to return to when I'm feeling frustrated with my situation and notice my posts taking the tone of "look what my W did to me lately."

It's so easy to slip into a complaining victim mode, and allow our own skills to slip.

CL


CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching
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sgctxok Offline OP
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Isn't it though. It's lifelong really.


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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Where is the article on forgiveness?


Me 47, W 32,D 6,
Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7
Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09

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sgctxok Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: native
Where is the article on forgiveness?



Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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Originally Posted By: sgctxok
(The following is quoted from Michele on a previous KLA forum)

"1. The first Golden Rule, "Do real giving" talks about the importance of doing to others what others would have done unto them, a definite twist on the real Golden Rule. What do you think about this?

2. The second Golden Rule, "Don't forget to laugh," reminds you about the importance of humor in marriage. Can you think of a time when you solved a marital problem by using your sense of humor?

3. The third Golden Rule, "Listen to each other," reminds you about the importance of putting aside your commentaries, reactions, and defensiveness and just simply acknowledging your partner's point of view. What do you think about this idea?

4. The fourth Golden Rule, "Live by the stranger standard," discusses the importance of treating your spouse at least as well as you might a complete stranger. What do you think about this?

5. The fifth Golden Rule, "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself," emphasizes the vast benefits of letting go and forgiving your partner. Do you find it difficult to forgive your partner when you feel wronged? What methods have you found helpful to move you beyond a lack of forgiveness? You can re-read the article I wrote on forgiveness, if that will help.

6. Can you think of any other inspirational Golden Rules that you would like to add to my list?



Sgctxok,

this is great, I wish my WIfe could agree to these. It seams the comversations about our sitch are always one way with me bringing things up.
The thing I am up agianst is that she is "seams" happy living as room mates.

Doc


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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can someone please tell me the definition of "piecing". I am sure it is putting things back together but my question is how do you know when you are ready to do this and is there a criteria?

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Being where you are "now". Not re-hashing old conflicts, or worrying about what might happen later in the future...but enjoying the moment you are in right now. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

(( j ))


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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thank you so much for this info. I feel in limboland right now.

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Are you sure she is o.k. as living as roommates? I don't know her personality but she may not be o.k. with it but you don't realize it or she needs the space right now.

I just know that my husband had complained over and over about how he has to bring everything up and how we are roommates and it puts me on edge and makes me feel attacked and guilty.

I kind of feel like a turtle that puts their head back in the shell to protect against it. If she is a "turtle" like me when she feels "safe" she will open up.

If you prode, poke, or make her feel bad you are much less likely to get a good response. It just will make her feel bad, further away from you, and misunderstood. Just my 2 cents. :o)

I see this post is old, however it may help someone else! :o)

Last edited by JeanBean; 05/13/10 03:19 PM.

Me: 37
Husband: 39
Husband's Mid-life Crisis onsite: 2-3 years now
Children: ages 3, 7, & 14 1/2
"If I am here right now it's meant to be...now what?!"
"You are never to old to grow and change" :o)
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