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#1548572 08/06/08 09:50 PM
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Like many on here, I have given much thought to the GAL concept and what could I do. I have had some success with adjusting my mindset, but with small kids, I do feel guilty going off and doing something that is just for me.

One thing I have thought about is losing some weight. I believe part of the reason my wife is not as sexual as I would like her to be is that she would like to lose some weight, probably 15-20 pounds. I am right now 15-20 pounds over my ideal weight (the weight I was at 6 years ago when I did my last triathlon). I am 6'3" so going from 200 up to 215-220 is not like I feel like I am grossly out of shape, but yet, I would feel better about myself, I would be healthier, my clothes would fit better, and, as an added kicker, my wife might be more attracted to me physically if I would get back to 200.

While I know how to lose this weight, I just haven't been able to make a disciplined effort and I think part of it is because of our SSM. At the end of the day, when I am not getting affection (not just sex, but affection and focus) from my wife, I find something else to do, usually on the computer or tv. Part of this habit involves my love of a bowl of ice cream in the evening, and can involve a beer or glass of wine or two. Finally, I get tired by 10:30-11 and go to bed, extra calories and all. Because I stay up later, this frequently means I don't feel like working out at 5:30 am, which is generally the only time of the day I can, and I get a double whammy towards my gut.

Hence, my theory that the SSM is linked.

Part of the issue, and hang with me because this is where I am going with this, is that I have no one to hold me accountable. My wife won't because these habits keep pressure off of her and I don't have anyone else trying to lose weight to pair up with.

It seems to me that there are others on this board that may have this same weight loss/ssm/gal linkage and might want to do something about it. If so, I would like to hear from you and thought that one or more of you might want to set a goal and journal here towards it. I know for me, even though no one here knows who I am, just having to journal (thanks for the inspiration Ali) my days activities and achievements would help hold my feet to the fire.

What do you think? Anyone want to join in?

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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just having to journal (thanks for the inspiration Ali) my days activities and achievements would help hold my feet to the fire.


I AGREE~
You are very welcome. ;\)
Glad to see you here. The more the merrier!


WELCOME~
I am game.
In my last thread I touched on the weight thing. I had started but I kept falling off the wagon . So to speak. I stopped out of frustration.
I then weighed myself this morning and I am down 6 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to hard?

Let me know~ how we are going to do this.
My Anniversary Is on sept 26.
I would love to be even lighter by then.

Also did you read my post about Brett Favre?
~Ali

Delil@h #1549950 08/07/08 07:58 PM
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Ali,

What I thinking of doing is putting down my starting weight, goal weight, and target date on day 1 (I am thinking this Monday) and then journalling about what I am doing to get there and my weigh in results.

For me, the only thing that works is to cut my calories down to 1,800/day and keep a diary, plus increase my exercise. This board will help keep me honest if I know others are participating as well.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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Ok I agree with evrything. I write it down I lose too. But I am not putting my weight down on my journal.
That is too personal. { but my sex life isnt..}

Well you know what I mean.
Monday?


Cool so that means I can hit the Buffet before then?
Chinese or ....
Just kidding....
Sounds great!
~Ali

Delil@h #1551096 08/08/08 04:40 PM
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Ali,

Monday it is.

That is too funny that you will discuss all aspects of your sex life, but your weight is off limits! I swear, I will go to my grave with no understanding of women...

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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BTW, I know weight has come up on some other postings, so I open the invitation up for more of you to join in. The more the better!

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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I swear, I will go to my grave with no understanding of women...



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"Like many on here, I have given much thought to the GAL concept and what could I do. I have had some success with adjusting my mindset, but with small kids, I do feel guilty going off and doing something that is just for me."

Er...Why? Why feel guilty about doing things just for yourself? What kind of example does doing only things for others teach them? Lose the guilt man. ;\)

"While I know how to lose this weight, I just haven't been able to make a disciplined effort and I think part of it is because of our SSM. At the end of the day, when I am not getting affection (not just sex, but affection and focus) from my wife, I find something else to do, usually on the computer or tv. Part of this habit involves my love of a bowl of ice cream in the evening, and can involve a beer or glass of wine or two. Finally, I get tired by 10:30-11 and go to bed, extra calories and all. Because I stay up later, this frequently means I don't feel like working out at 5:30 am, which is generally the only time of the day I can, and I get a double whammy towards my gut. Hence, my theory that the SSM is linked."

I'm afraid this is all just one big lousy excuse. Man comes before Marriage - both in history and in real life (and in the dictionary as well). The only link between your physical shape and your SSM is in your mind - cut that link right away.

The "If only I had more sex I could start being a real man" programme is becoming increasingly recognised as faulty software that creates an endlessly-replicating virus, gradually slowing down your whole system, and eventually resulting in a crash.

Reboot.

"Part of the issue, and hang with me because this is where I am going with this, is that I have no one to hold me accountable. My wife won't because these habits keep pressure off of her and I don't have anyone else trying to lose weight to pair up with."

The only person you should ever be accountable to you is YOU. No-one else...Ever. That's not to say you should go around acting the egotistical jerk. But it does mean taking responsibility for your OWN mental, physical, emotional, economic and spiritual well-being. ALL THE TIME.

It sounds to me like you're in serious need of some proper, hard, authentic, masculine re-energization. Join a sports club or a gym (a proper man's one - not filled with lycra-clad beauties) and start going regularly. Get disciplined and get into the right physical shape. NOT for your wife, but for YOU.

The mental, physical, emotional, economic and spiritual aspects of a man are all inter-linked in my view, but probably the biggest and most beneficial effect a man can bring about in his own life is to get into (and stay in) great physical shape. The rest almost inevitably improves as a result.

If your wife chooses to follow your example, so much the better. If she doesn't that's frankly her problem, and would suggest that her "weight" is just an excuse not to make the effort to have a passionate physical relationship with you. And as you must have already realised by now, your marriage will not (indeed should not) survive in the long term without such a relationship.

Either way, you need to ditch this "I would do X, Y and Z with my life, if only I wasn't in a SSM" mentality which seems to plague so men when they first come to this board. Its not masculine and its not attractive.

Your purpose and life as a man must never be contingent in your mind on whether or not you are going to get sex from your wife. Think about it - its like volunteering to live the rest of your life in a cage - with your wife as the Zookeeper. Its no way for a man to live.

Good luck with the New You.

S&A



"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.

Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
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Your purpose and life as a man must never be contingent in your mind on whether or not you are going to get sex from your wife. Think about it - its like volunteering to live the rest of your life in a cage - with your wife as the Zookeeper. Its no way for a man to live.



Add a few letters and VOILA' , I love it
Your purpose and life as a Woman must never be contingent in your mind on whether or not you are going to get sex from your Husband. Think about it - its like volunteering to live the rest of your life in a cage - with your Husband as the Zookeeper. Its no way for a Woman to live.


WOw ~ sad but true...

I like that just what I needed to read actually.
S&A~ you are good.
When In Gods name are you going to start a thread?
God bless...
~Ali

Delil@h #1551377 08/08/08 07:20 PM
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Alimari,

You can read my sitch on DQ's first "sex blog", but I will start a thread very soon in which I will be asking for some advice, especially from the women on the board.

By the way - the cage thing comes from:

"Wild Things in Captivity

By DH Lawrence

Wild things in captivity
while they keep their own wild purity
won't breed, they mope, they die.

All men are in captivity,
active with captive activity,
and the best won't breed, though they don't know why.

The great cage of our domesticity
kills sex in a man, the simplicity
of desire is distorted and twisted awry.

And so, with bitter perversity,
gritting against the great adversity,
they young ones copulate, hate it, and want to cry.

Sex is a state of grace.
In a cage it can't take place.
Break the cage then, start in and try."

A very multi-layered poem that requires several readings.

As does another of his:

"Self Pity

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself."

In other words, simply to have been alive is the greatest gift of all? I think.

By the way, Alimari - I think Bagheera is right - don't let things get too one-sided. And don't be too nice - it doesn't just apply to guys you know. You are fire (not jello and custard) so let him get burned now and again.

All the best,

S&A



"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.

Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
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S&A,

Thanks for the response.

"Why feel guilty about doing things just for yourself? What kind of example does doing only things for others teach them? Lose the guilt man."

This is just a reality. I have two small kids and run a successful, but time-consuming business. I try to do things that I want to do that will allow me to spend time with my family, especially my kids and it is tough to have time to do things "just" for me. Just the way it is and I think it is part of this time in my life. For example, I would love to stop off at a bar nearby that specialized in micro-brews and watch a baseball game there after work, but I would truly feel guilty when I could be home playing outside with my kids and helping out at the house.

"The only person you should ever be accountable to you is YOU. No-one else...Ever. That's not to say you should go around acting the egotistical jerk. But it does mean taking responsibility for your OWN mental, physical, emotional, economic and spiritual well-being. ALL THE TIME."

True, but in the past, I have done several weight loss "challenges" with friends or relatives and it just worked better for me. The times when I generically decide to "get in shape" turn into something I will do "tomorrow" and suddenly weeks and months go by. To each his own and if this doesn't work for you, do what does, but it has historically been effective for me and I thought others might want to join in. I'll take it from your narrative that you do not.


"Get disciplined and get into the right physical shape. NOT for your wife, but for YOU."

Agreed. I thought that was what I said in my original post. For my wife would only be an added bonus.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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BTW, either way I am planning on starting my journaling tomorrow.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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Weighed in today at 216. I have been at the 210-220 range for over a year and have become way to comfortable adjusting to this weight. Time to change starts today.

My goal weight is going to be 200 by October 12 (two months away). I will do it by getting to 205 by September 15 and will have 5 pounds to go in the last month.

I will get there by:

1. Counting colories in a small notebook and targeting 1,900/day.
2. Increasing my exercise.

More to come.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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How did you do today?

Delil@h #1555629 08/12/08 07:58 PM
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Just to butt in here...don't know if this is welcomed advise or not but....I have been in really good shape my entire adult life. I should have excercised more at different times, but I have always been active and fit. However, I have been at times, up to 15 - 20 pounds above my ideal weight (never for longer than 6 months to a year), so I do know how to take it off when I get to that point...and I have done so a few times. But for the most part, I have stayed within 5 pounds of my ideal weight my entire adult life. I am 41.

So I have a few tips and tricks....(I talked to Ali a little bit on her thread but I know she is under stress right now and that is the hardest time to diet, so I don't know if she is still determined or not...) anyway...

The biggest and most important trick/tip is this: learn how to "enjoy" being a little bit hungry.

It actually isn't that difficult either, you just have to get used to it. But when you can get there, it actually feels GOOD to be a little bit hungry. There are studies about this phenomena that prove it to be true, and I personally know it is true.

When I get to the end of a day and feel a tiny bit hungry, I know that I have done well that day. I know that my body can now eat/consume its excess fat because I am a tiny bit hungry. I am not talking about starving yourself, just being a little hungry. The feeling that comes with it will surprise you if you can "get into it".

If this wasn't too much to share or if you want more tips from me, I will be back with more. But I like to be careful about giving tips about weight loss, because it can be such a touchy topic, and if you already know you can do it and have a plan, many times people don't want more tips.

Good luck!

DQ

DanceQueen #1556132 08/13/08 03:19 AM
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I so love this thread.

If you'd rather that I 'unsticky' it .... I will. Just click 'notify'.


For lots of folks, their partner's appearance is so related to their ability to be turned on. It is for my partner as well, so I understand.

Some have a wider range of weight and other preferences, and some have a smaller range.

For some of us who are more 'internally' oriented, we may feel that those who are 'externally' oriented are selfish or shallow. But it isn't true. It's just different.

So.....taking care of ourselves is loving to ourselves AND to our partner.



So....I'm happy and proud of you to be honest and bring it up.


I'm joining you.....working on diet and exercise as well.


Weighing in at 20 lbs tooo heavy. And I'm short/petite, so 20lbs over is more than I want to be.

My goal is to lose it by Oct 11. I'll check back.

Last edited by sgctxok; 08/13/08 03:20 AM.

sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
sgctxok #1556474 08/13/08 02:31 PM
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As I said, the more the merrier, so welcome...and thanks for the encouragement.

I appreciate the tip by DQ and think it is really true. I am a big guy who enjoys a hearty meal, so the first two weeks is always the toughest on me as I go through "stomach size adjustment" by eating smaller portions. Getting to like the feeling of being hungry is not natural for me, but I think that is a really interesting concept that I am going to work on.

So far this week, I have been less focused on my calorie goal and have been more focused on making good choices. For breakfast, I have been sticking to a cup of cereal rather than a bowl, skipped my nightly ice cream each night, and last night we took the kids to a movie (Journey to the Center of the Earth, whcih I give 2 out of 4 stars) and I didn't eat anything at the movie or after. Not even an evening beer or glass of wine.

Otherwise, slow start. My schedule this week does not allow me much exercise, but I need to squeeze some in somehow.

CB

PS - I am not telling anyone, including my wife, that I am doing this. I want to do a stealth diet and not draw attention because it seems like people around here revel in getting someone to break from a diet.


Me; 42, W; 43
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3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
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Right on, CB!

Hey, its weird, but I know all about the sabotage-the-diet aspect. I am always in pretty good shape, so I can't even speak the word "diet" without someone close to me getting on my case. They say things like "oh good lord, you've never had to diet a day in your life, stop trying to be perfect". Sigh.

Actually, I look perfect BECAUSE I watch what I eat and BECAUSE I get pro-active and start trying to drop weight when I am more than 5 pounds over my ideal weight! Naturally, if left to my body's own choice, I would be rather chubby. My body is not one of those types that just stays thin on its own accord. Quite the opposite. I can never let my guard down or the weight just piles on right away.

So it is insulting to me when people "don't want to hear it" because they assume I look like this by nature's design. If only they knew about my cookie addiction and how difficult it is for me to "just say no"! I have to fight and struggle to eat well every day! And yet...it is just assumed that because I don't ever go up in weight (that anyone else notices) I must be this way naturally.

Anyway...another tip....

This one is easy and you probably already know about it, but you can "fool" your body into thinking you've just eaten by drinking 8 ounces of water quickly. Your stomach will be "full" and for a while, it won't ask for food because there is no room for it. This is a very easy way to replace that urge for junk, ice cream, or even an alcohol drink - - with water! You need it anyway and it really can help you stay off of food for short periods of time (between meals, etc).

Another trick is V-8! I love that stuff anyway and drink one every day to keep up on my veggie count. But you can do the same trick with the water with a V-8 instead and get veggies that way, too. Just get the low sodium kind because the regular kind has way too much salt your body doesn't need or want.

DQ

DanceQueen #1556881 08/13/08 08:02 PM
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DQ,

Thanks for the tips, keep them coming. I am not a V-8 guy, but I will try the water trick. I do need to move away from Diet Coke and drink more water anyway.

I also need to not go home for lunch! Today I went home for lunch (I live 6 minutes from my office) and there were so many good leftovers that I paid no attention to portion size. I need to stay at work and eat a can of soup (220 calories or less and it fills me up). Be smarter you dummy (talking to myself and slapping myself on the forehead)!

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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This is a true story. I used to work with a guy that was about about 6'2" and had put on some extra pounds. Then he started to lose some weight.

Finally one of the gals in the office commented one day, "Hey M. you are really looking good lately. What have you been doing to lose weight?"

M. answers, "Well, when I go out to eat at lunch, I only get one Big Mac now instead of two."

Cinco

Cinco #1557760 08/14/08 02:30 PM
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Cinco,

That is a pretty funny story. I knew a guy who lost 25 pounds a few years ago and when I asked him about it he said he just stopped eating the crappy foods (chips, ice cream, etc.) he was eating and didn't do anything else differently.

For me, I think I need to respect my danger zones. One of my danger zones is the drive-through, especially a restaraunt we have in the Midwest called Culver's (a custard and hamburger place). While it is possible to drive through a Culver's and not get a shake, I always get one. I don't like the shakes at McDonald's, so I am ok there getting a Diet Coke. That alone saves about 800 calories. I am now just ordering grilled chicken sandwiches w/o mayo at McDs and that is only about 350 cals. Before I was ordering chicken select meals, w/fries. This change will save me about 900 cals. Just need to stay disciplined.

This morning I woke up and worked out. I have not worked out since last week and was really "creaky" and thought about staying in bed. Knowing I would be posting an update crossed my mind and got me out of bed.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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Good job, CB!!!

Um...I have to say this though (I am a mother, ie: sometimes kinda naggy)....

Really, just stay away from McKillerfood altogether. Yes the grilled chicken is less cals, but seriously, their food is toxic, ALL of it. If you simply remove them and Culver's from your diet altogether, that alone will cause you to lose some weight!

It would be much healthier to go get a REAL ice cream milkshake, all 1,000 calories of it, from a mom and pop diner, and truly enjoy every slurp of it...than it is to eat the poisoned toxic chicken sandwich. I know that may not make sense, but it is true. Natural foods with natural fats will always be healthier than processed foods and toxic chemicals. Calories are one thing that you can burn off, but the toxic residues from the junk foods will stay IN YOU no matter how many calories you burn.

But you are doing great, don't let me discourage you! I just had to say that about McKiller because they really should be avoided at all costs. Maybe twice per year you could eat there without being poisoned, but just avoiding it is best.

DQ

DanceQueen #1558058 08/14/08 06:32 PM
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DQ,

Thanks for the encouragement, but I need to have at least one fast-food option available as I drive on the road A LOT with my job and eat in the car a lot en route. It is a lesser of evils issue.

BTW, I went home for lunch and ate a yogurt, banana, and can of Progresso soup. 400 cals, tops, and had a big glass of water first, thanks for the tip.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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Good job on lunch then CB!

Too bad you don't live in the Pacific NW where we have BURGERVILLE!

It is still fast food and drive through, but they use all natural, local and organic foods. Plus it tastes worlds above the "other" stuff.

However, if you have any Taco TIME in your area (not the Bell, but Taco Time), they use all fresh, local ingredients as well, some organics. You pay a higher price of course, but it is worth it and is still convenient.

DQ

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DQ,

We don't, but I will look for it on the road.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
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You are doing awesome.
I am actually going to join you even though I have been stressed it will help me to feel focused on something posisitve for me.
I have been busy also this week so no time for execise ~
I am first going to detox and then I am going to start a weight loss program . Most likely weight watchers. Even though when I go in there the ladies roll their eyes at me.
I have been feeling not myself lately and this will help. I havent really been up to eating lately and my body could use this... whole foods for a week or 2 and then detox is over. \:\)
My body will love me for it and I usually drop weight too.

I am glad you are up front and center. I couldnt find your thread at first.


I agree about Mickey Ds it is toxic. Better choice for a Packer Backer on the Road? I dunno?
I find it practically impossible when on th road in Wisconsin to find something healthy.
So when I can I bring these things along....
Kashi bars and naked juice are great for on the go.
They actually make you feel full. Or "Boca" burgers { a soy burger} are fabulous too. Only 1 gram of fat! I love a real hamburger any day of the week but these are actually very tasty.

You are doing great. I agree better to keep it to yourself you are "dieting".. otherwise every one has something to say about it.



:D,

~Ali




Delil@h #1559218 08/15/08 05:58 PM
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Today I am doing well. Didn't work out but stuck to cup of cereal for breakfast and turkey sandwich (no mayo or cheese or anything else) and a water for lunch. We are visiting friends for the weekend, so I need to be smart, but we are going out to eat tonight and that will be high cal.

Weighed in at 213.5 today. Want to hold it for Monday.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
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Weighed in this morning at 214.5. The good news is that we spent the weekend with close friends, eating great food and drinking lots of wine and beer. I made lots of choices that I wouldn't have made because of my blogging here, but could have made a few more better ones (64 cal MGD light would have been a better choice than the microbrews). We did hit McDs and I stuck to my grilled chicken w/ just lettuce and a diet Coke (No Fries!!).

Worked out this morning and felt like a slug. Need to do it again tomorrow.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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Can I join in here?

I need to lose weight, like Alimari I won't be giving out my weight, although I having been sharing every other personal thing about me lately. HAHA.

I have been trying to lose weight for health reasons and of course to look better also. I have lost about 20 pounds in the last 3 months. some of that was due to hearing my husband wanted a seperation. With the vacation last week and everything else I need to step it up again with the eating right and the exercise. I think this will be a great place to keep me motivated and track my exercise.

I also have a wedding coming up in 7 weeks that I would like to lose weight for. So I can get a sexy dress to wear to remind my Husband what he has here.

Thanks Shelby


Me:43
H:43
T:20 YRS
M:15 YRS
Bomb: 6/9/08
Bomb#2 7/6/10
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My wife was about 70 pounds overweight and always gave me the excuse that she didn't feel good about herself enough to be intimate. She did loose all the weight she wanted and looked and felt good. A bit threatened I lost some weight and we both worked on it together and we both felt and looked good.

However, it made no difference at all in the bedroom. Not even a little.

Vengeance #1562209 08/18/08 08:46 PM
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So, Vengeance (Vengeance - against who !?!), why do you think it made no difference?

What has been happening since your last post (end 2007) and this one?

Are you still together? Do you still want to have an intimate relationship with her?

Let us know.

S&A



"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.

Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
Shelby #1562268 08/18/08 09:30 PM
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Shelby,

Welcome. No need to share your weight if you don't want to. For me, that is important, but whatever works for you. I would welcome your stories of what you are doing to lose.

Today has been pretty good. I was a good boy at lunch, even though it was a great buffet. Stuck to veggies, smaller serving of mashed potatos and turkey. Even had some plain salad. Skipped dessert and didn't "load up" on the plate. Probably about 500 cals. Diet coke and 2 waters this afternoon.

Wife mowed lawn today, which is good and bad since it was another exercise opportunity for me.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
Vengeance #1562276 08/18/08 09:34 PM
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You didn't used to post under the name Cemar, by chance?

First, good job on your weight loss. Second, while it would be an added kicker if it would help improve things in the bedroom, that is not why I am doing it. I am doing it because I don't like the way I look or feel, am sick of my clothes fitting snug, and it is important for my health and my future for my kids. I grew up with two overweight parents and saw how limited they were and how "fun parents" did things like exercise and go to the beach with their kids.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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I do think that an SSM can be related to weight/body image issues.

My H had a one-year affair that only ended a month ago. When it started, I was about 30 pounds overweight, but we had a 10 month old baby so there was somewhat of a reason for it...the irony is that I joined a weight loss center and when I reached 28 lb loss I was friskier than ever and he was only mildly interested. To him it was too late by then besides he had a new playmate.

Now we are trying again...unlike most who lose weight on the "DB diet", I gained back 18 of the 28 lbs! I feel insecure b/c I hate the way my body looks, it doesn't look like "me" to me, if that makes sense. So I am not comfortable wearing the slinky stuff to bed, or even wearing shorts in the middle of summer! My H and I went to Retrouvaille 2 weeks ago which is all about communication. Over the course of the weekend he admitted to me that he is not as physically attracted to me when I am carrying that extra weight. I got mad at first and thought of him as shallow but the truth is I probably wouldn't be as desiring of him if he gained a bunch of weight, either.

Would I have an affair? NO
Would I stop loving him? NO
Would I stay married to him? YES
Would I be as interested in sex? Probably not...

Maybe that makes me terrible too...

Anyway I started working out again this week not for H but because I am TIRED of not feeling good about my own body. But the dividends will also come as I feel better about me, I am sure that will be more appealing to H. Hope that made sense.


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
BobbiJo #1564220 08/20/08 02:58 AM
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Just throwing in my 2 cents.

I have suffered from dysthymia (basically a low-grade depression that is constant) my whole life, with occasional bouts of full-blown clinical depression in short bursts over the years. I've always struggled with food cravings and was a binge eater starting as far back as I can remember, although I stayed thin until I hit my 30's and my metabolism slowed down.

I've dieted on and off my whole adult life. When I'm on one of my diets, I go through that phase where I get almost a high - and feel powerful, virtuous and in control - from that "slightly hungry" feeling, and the weight melts off almost effortlessly. At some point, though, the cravings start to get stronger and my ability to resist them gets weaker and weaker until I'm back to gaining weight again and hating myself for being so weak and blowing it yet again.

I also suffered from mood swings and lack of energy and motivation - I spent a lot of time on the couch or in front of the computer.

I recently learned that the cause of all of these things was chemical, and am now on a food and exercise plan that combats the depression, completely eliminates cravings, and gives me more energy and motivation than I've ever had in my whole life. It's what has allowed me to survive the imminent demise of my marriage.

I'm mentioning all of this because a few comments I've read here lead me to believe that one or two (or maybe more) of the people posting here may have the same condition I do, and if so I'd like to share what I've learned, but I don't want to preach, especially because what I do, while absolutely healthy, is definitely not for everyone.

Anyone interested, let me know.


Me: 46
H: 42
T: 14
M: 13
No C
Bomb 3/08 Don't love you, never did
Now: same roof, separate rooms
Separation process begun
pandafan #1564275 08/20/08 03:34 AM
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Is it Schwarzbein Principle?


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Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
sgctxok #1564493 08/20/08 12:29 PM
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No, although I just looked that up to see what it was and it seems to have some of the same elements.

Does the Schwarzbein Principle address depression?


Me: 46
H: 42
T: 14
M: 13
No C
Bomb 3/08 Don't love you, never did
Now: same roof, separate rooms
Separation process begun
pandafan #1564516 08/20/08 01:01 PM
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I just read a bit more of the Schwarzbein Principle - wow! Everything else pales by comparison, including what I'm doing, apparently! I've been doing Potatoes Not Prozac, and it does really work, but from what I've just read, it also is not the whole story.

Thanks for mentioning it!


Me: 46
H: 42
T: 14
M: 13
No C
Bomb 3/08 Don't love you, never did
Now: same roof, separate rooms
Separation process begun
pandafan #1565076 08/20/08 08:35 PM
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Didn't weigh in today, but feeling good. Worked out this am, was on my best behavior at a baseball game last night (no nachos, no beer...probably first time ever to say that). Took it easy at breakfast (about 300 cals) and ordered chicken breast sub, no chips for lunch, rather than meatball combo. Lots of water.

Need to keep making good choices.

Still haven't mentioned to wife that I am trying to lose 20.
CB

BTW - ML to LDW Monday night. Since I started my weight loss mission I have had more of a "could take-it-or-leave it" attitude for ML and I think that has been positive.


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
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Hey great update, CB! Keep up the good work!

DanceQueen #1565383 08/21/08 12:21 AM
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How's everyone else doing? Please post what you are doing to hit your goals as well.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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Bad choices last night. Went to a cocktail party and had 2.5 glasses of wine, when I easily could have had 1 and a diet coke.

Came home at 10 pm and had a full dinner of leftovers, when a small snack would have done the trick.

All in all, probably an extra 1,000 cals if you count everything, plus I didn't feel good all night.

Need to be smarter today!

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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212.5 this morning.

Went golfing with a client this morning and didn't "load up" on breakfast like I would have (300 cals) and only had a Gatorade all morning. No other snacks or beer after the round. After golf, we went to lunch and I had a diet coke and salad with grilled chicken on it, even though they have great burgers and fries.

Returned to the office and walked past the box of donuts from this morning, including my two favorite kinds. I want to hit 210 next Friday, so I am going to keep making good choices.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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BAD weekend for this! Weighed in at 216 this morning, and was really frustrated by being almost back to where I started.

This weekend, ate normal all day then went out for a big dinner Saturday. Sunday was a dietary nightmare! Ate a big breakfast, then we surprised the kids with a trip to Six Flags Great America. Pizza, snacks, and dinner on the way home ad Buffalo Wild Wings, added up to the most cals I have had in a day since I began this.

I am going to make sure I work out tonight and eat light for lunch. I need to get back down to 212 by this weekend. Even my pants feel snug again and I don't like it!

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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Yesterday was a great day. Made good decisions all day long and did a hard workout when I got home.

Weighed in this morning at 215. If I could drop .5-1 pound each day, I would blow away my goals. Need to exercise when I get home tonight and be smart over lunch and dinner.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
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Quote:
Ali,

Good job on weight watchers. I almost did that as well. How do you like it? I would love it if you would post your weight loss updates on the thread I started and I am hoping others will as well.
CB







May I say?
I love Weight Watchers.
It can "go with you' wherever you want.
I basically eat healthy and make good choices but when I am on the run. Or my portion sizes?
Forget about it...
I love to eat~

I go to meetings and use their online program. It is only 40$ a month. I think well worth the headache you don't get of trying to count calories . etc etc etc

I weighed myself this am.
Dunno if the scale is broken or it is true.
I am down 5 lbs in one week.
And I feel great..
I even had Starbucks and a ice cream yesterday.
I was running errands for our business and moving stuff.
MY DAY~!
I had a Kashi granola bar for breakfast and a starbucks.
later I had a Pear
lunch?
When I ordered the crew their Burgers from TOMs drive in { my favorite , besides Culvers BTW~}
I got a cone. Small .. vanilla.
I went home and made this....
Asian noodles w/ egg and green beans

later I had Papaya

Dinner?
I duuno why but I was in the mood for a peanut butter and jelly.



One problem?

I can feel myself sabotaging myself some....
not good.
My hubby has no clue but he is being supportive.
We went to BWW the other day for lunch.
I had all I could do not to eat wings...
Spicy Garlic they are the best.
I had their chips and salsa instead and a Bloody Mary.
He didn't try to force me to eat the wings either...
he is usually great at sabotaging

I am doing great.
Thanks for the inspiration....

Ali

Delil@h #1572505 08/27/08 05:09 PM
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Ali,

5 lbs is great! My wife is out of town on business for three days and after the kids went to bed, I was REALLY hungry and dying for ice cream. Instead I had a cup of granola cereal w/milk, which was about 250 cals. Not much better than a cup of ice cream, but I didn't feel as guilty I guess.

Today, 300 cals at breakfast and doing lunch in a few minutes. Need to exercise tonight after I pick up the kids. Need to make it a big exercise so I can have wine and cheese w/wife after she gets back tonight.

CB

Last edited by CharlieBrown; 08/27/08 05:10 PM.

Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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Hey CB,

Next time you have a craving for ice cream at night try doing what DQ suggested in her earlier post. Get a glass of water instead, that's what my wife and I do at night after dinner. It gives you that full feeling but 0 cals.

Something about watching TV gives me what I call "snackitus". It's really hard to resist grabbing a beer and some pretzels or chips while sitting there on the couch.

Cinco

Cinco #1572636 08/27/08 06:31 PM
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Cinco,

Thanks for the tip. DQs advice on this was really good and I have been doing that, plus drinking a glass before I sit down and eat a meal.

I did have 2 beers last night, but at least they were MGD Light 64, so they totaled 128 cals.

Went home for lunch and behaved. Can of soup and one piece of leftover frozen pizza. About 350-400 cals. And a big glass of water.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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OK CB,

Sounds like your a candidate for my patented half-a-honey-bun diet. The beauty of it is, it isn't as much a diet as a way to get yourself into eating less of the bad stuff. Actually the idea came from the eat one Big Mac instead of two guy.

  • If there are doughnuts (honeybuns \:\) ) at the office, you don't pass them up you break one in half and eat just the half.
  • If you normally drink 2 beers in the evening, just drink one.
  • If you like 3 scoops of ice cream at night, do 1 or 1 & 1/2.
You get the idea... I lost about an inch on my waist (and the little spare tire starting) just doing this.

Cinco

Cinco #1572725 08/27/08 07:51 PM
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Cinco,

I like the name of the diet. Could use it on my marriage as well, as in "getting half as much honey-bun" as I would like...

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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No the ad phrase would be:

Half a honey bun gets you Double your honey's bum.

LOL \:D

Cinco #1573550 08/28/08 03:32 PM
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Nice. I like it.

Yesterday was a good day. Worked out hard last night, my dinner was about 600 cals, including a huge heap of veggies. When W returned last night, I had wine waiting for us and we split a bottle (a great 2004 zin, btw), while catching up on the couch and I intentionally skipped the cheese.

This morning, 300 cals for breakfast.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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\:\)
Good for you CB~

I am doing well also and I hope I can keep this up.
When one gets busy it is so easy to shove needless calories in your mouth,
I am glad you are doing this too.
I want to get walks with the dog in more.
But after running all day and packing and running stuff to the new place. I feel tired at the end of the day.

I have a Chocolate Lab who has enough energy for 5 dogs~!

And he walks me.. I am only 5'4" and it feels like I am skiing more than walking. YUCK it is kinda embarrassing. I need to work on that and take him for walks...

~Ali

Delil@h #1573768 08/28/08 05:49 PM
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Ali,

The dog idea is a great one. We live in a pretty spread out neighborhood around a golf course and a woman who lives on the other side walks her dogs through the whole thing twice a day, and at a pretty strong pace. At the beginning of summer, she had a pretty obvious pear shape and I have noticed lately that she has lost most of that and has really toned up below the waist. Not that I am going to stop and tell her that, but it is obvious to see.

I just went to lunch with some of my employees and had a salad with dressing on the side and grilled chicken. Filling and good.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
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Quote:
Not that I am going to stop and tell her that, but it is obvious to see.

;\)
If it works for her... the cold winter is still?
HMMMMMMM?
12 weeks away...... I can do it too!

I think anyway.
Did good today on eating.... had Sushi, miso soup and seaweed salad for lunch. and then for dinner I had a chicken taco and hot and sour soup. and a Banana.
No I am not pregnant. I eat crazy stuff like that all the time.
~Ali

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211 this morning! I was really excited to see that and extra motivated to eat light for breakfast (300 Cals) and lunch (350 Cals plus 100 cal snack afternoon). This was despite being in Chicago for work, which usually meant a stop at Dunkin Donuts or at least Cold Stone. I did neither.

This weekend, we will be eating and drinking well, so I need to make other smart choices and really focus on exercising.

My next goal is to get under 210, then 205 will seem in reach.

We haven't ML for a week and my wife was out of town on business since Monday AM. Last night in bed I said "plan on sex tomorrow night" and she said "maybe". Since she gets her "monthly bill" tomorrow or Sunday and tonight is a Friday night, this answer got my blood boiling because it is a blow-off when she says that. Instead of arguing or getting pissy, I just said "I'm giving you 24 hours heads-up" and went to bed. Not sure what else to say at that moment. My guess is tonight she will try to not, and knows she is close to "running out the clock" and will try to.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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I guess I'm joining in. I'm finally getting serious again; I saw photos of myself. Sheesh.

I've been eating well this week for the most part, but today was the first chance I got to get into the gym and really put in some work. It felt great.


Recovering Sex-Starved Husband.
Delil@h #1576027 08/30/08 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted By: Alimari
\:\)

I have a Chocolate Lab who has enough energy for 5 dogs~!

And he walks me.. I am only 5'4" and it feels like I am skiing more than walking. YUCK it is kinda embarrassing. I need to work on that and take him for walks...

~Ali


Ali- I wanted to jump in on this comment. As a foster care provider for homeless dogs (mainly lab crosses) and a mom to a chocolate lab.. they do have a TON of energy. They are much better behaved (if that is possible) when they are exercised daily. If your lab is walking you (which I know all about.. mine is almost Great Dane size in height & over a 100 lbs)

Get a collar called a 'gentle leader'. You can find them in petco or similar stores.

They wrap from the back of the neck behind the ears, around to the front over the nose in front of the eyes and the leash hooks under their chin.

When they pull on the leash the collar puts pressure on the back of their neck and stimulates a nerve there that 'causes' them to sumbit (like when their mom's pick them up by the scruff of the neck when they were puppies & they just hang there). They quickly (like within a block or two) elminate the pulling. It is not like a choke chain where you give a hard yank, you just provide gentle pressure (or they provide it for you when they pull against the leash).

Now a word of warning.. I have yet to meet a dog that likes to wear it initialy and they rub & rub & rub, with their paws, or with their head on the groudn, tryhing to get it off their nose, so when I use it on foster dogs for the first few times I put it on loosely for them to wear around the house. Within a few days of wearing it an hour or so, they accept it.

Good luck!
Bridge


Divorced 03/2010
Mom to two amazing kids

Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.

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Bridgestone #1578086 09/02/08 01:58 PM
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Rough weekend for weight-loss. Went out to eat Saturday night, ad friends over Sunday night, and to cap it off, went to the in-laws for a birthday dinner Monday. Definitely back on the saddle today...

CB


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Alright, CB, I am in. I started this year at 355-360 lbs. I now weigh in at 287. I lost four lbs since Saturday, just a bit of stress. I am fasting until sundown today. Coffee and water only. It is a personal choice for religious reasons. I have a sorority function this evening and will nibble there, but nothing major.

My goal is to lose another 40 lbs by Christmas, than 25 more by my birthday--the beginning of March. 40 lbs by Christmas is only 2.5 a week. Getting exercise into my schedule is what I need to work on the most.

I will check in tomorrow. You are doing great!

SMW


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SMW,

Welcome. I love seeing others join in the journey and it makes me feel more accountable.

Look forward on updates towards losing your 40.

CB


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Ate ok yesterday, but went out for dinner and had tacos and pizza, then had a cup of ice cream at night. Ate well this morning, but now that fall is here, I am struggling to motivate to work out in the morning. I need to work out today when I get home from work.

CB


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Not too bad last night or this morning. Fall has arrived and it was sure hard to get out of bed this morning, something about the cool air, but I did and worked out. Felt really rusty after not working out since Saturday. Will work out again Saturday.

Weigh in is tomorrow.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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210 this morning! I need to stay focused over this weekend and work out hard. If I do, and if I hang in there next week, I should be 208 by next Friday, which would be my 1/2 way point.

How is everyone else doing?

CB

PS - W and I did end up ML last Friday night and it was good. She didn't try to run out the clock, but I suspect that was because I told her the night before of my expectation.

Last edited by CharlieBrown; 09/05/08 03:06 PM.

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Good for you CB~

You are doing so well.
I am doing ok.... I have had a hard time with eating and being bogged down with moving and painting and blah , blah , blah.
I haven't lost anymore.
YUCK~!

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Ali,

I know what you are saying. When we have moved, or done other big projects, even though I am working my butt off and burning lots of cals, somehow I overly replenish and snack more during those times.

CB


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good morning CB. I weighed in at 284 this morning--of course I was fully dressed, in a sweatshirt, so I am pretty sure it is high.

My stomach is a mess right now. I will have to force myself to eat so I do not get worn down.

Going to take the boys for a walk in a little bit. I need to get out of the house.

SMW


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Quote:
I will have to force myself to eat so I do not get worn down.


Please do this... your health is very important!
And maybe even a multi - vitamin! ;\)

~Ali

Delil@h #1586129 09/09/08 04:48 PM
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I agree, take care of your health!

I am notching my belts one notch tighter and feel thinner. Haven't weighed in this week, but I feel like I am probably at 210 or 209.

Ate well last night at the Packer game (3 beers aside) and didn't give in to temptation when my wife wanted McDonalds on the way home. She had 2 burgers, I had a cone (140 cals only).

She has had her period, but it is done and I asked last night on the way home about ml tonight. We'll see how it goes since I am on the road then until Friday.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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Hi I am going to get serious with this now.
I think I need to set mini goals for myself. I have a party next Saturday the 20th to go to, with some people I have not seen in years. I am going to try to lose 5 lb. by then. It won't be enough to look much different, but it will help me in the self confidence departmant.
After this goal is met I will have to think of another mini goal.

Shelby


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Shelby #1587604 09/10/08 02:58 PM
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Shelby,

I think that is a good idea and you will feel better without those 5 extra pounds. Post on how you are doing.
CB


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This morning I did not want to get up, but did (albeit 1/2 hour later than I should have) and worked out. I am on the road until Sunday and won't be able to work out, so I was glad I did.

BTW, wife gave me the "I'm tired, how about tomorrow" response last night, to which I just replied, I am on the road, as you know. I thought she might respond, but she didn't and I didn't because I didn't want to beg. How to handle this is not my specialty yet.

Weighed in at 210 this morning. Hoping to drop to 209 by Friday.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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CB--I did not disappear. I am trying to stay off the scale til next week. I have a heck of a cold and not really feeling like eating too much right now.

I have done good--no big snacking.

I am wearing a T-Shirt that I got in 2002. It was from a Lane Bryant Fashion Show. It is SIGNIFICANTLY oversized now--it was not when I got it. Irony---It says "Big Girls Rock" on it! I am dreaming of cutting this thing up at some point, in order to have some fun with it. I want to cut the arms off, put a big V in the neckline, knots at the shoulders, and wear a tank under it. I will do it when I get to 200-225 lbs. I am unfortunately, able to carry my weight well, and I would be able to more than pull off that look then.

SMW


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I am stalled out on my weight loss right now and have a serious case of "I don't give a f***-itis" that I need to snap out of. Part of it is that I hit the 210 level and I don't have time to take it to the next level (due to work and I can't work out a couple hours every day -3/week is more realistic). As a result, and due to fall weather kicking in here, I just don't have my motivation. Plus, Octoberfest Beer, apple pies & muffins, chili (I could go on and on with fall weight loss killers). Bottom line, I need to hit it harder and not fall back.

As a positive, I haven't yet said a word to my wife about trying to lose weight, but she must have noticed because she is trying to eat better and has worked out more lately as well. Hasn't led to any changes in our ML frequency (going on 3 weeks), but still a positive. BTW, she is 5'8" or so, has 38D chest and would otherwise have a killer bod for a mother of 2 if she would lose 15-20. I still think she is hot as is, but she would feel much hotter about herself if she would lose that weight and nothing I say seems to matter about it.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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Well, my scale has not moved this week, but I am not disappointed. I have female bloat this week, so if it does not go up, that is a plus--since all I want to eat is large quantities of chocolate and chips!

I have been drinking a ton more water--almost a gallon a day.

We will see what happens next week.

SMW


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good job !!!

I just joined WW. The point system is a new idea to me....but I'm surprised at how much I can eat that isn't salad.


sg
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sgctxok #1617640 10/10/08 08:21 PM
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How is everyone doing on their "shape-up" (I hate to use weight loss only because I think being in your best shape is really what is important).

I am doing lousy. A couple weeks ago, I completely stopped caring about watching what I was eating. Also, my knee is messed up and I haven't been able to run or bike, which has given me the excuse to be totally lazy.

A big part of this is psychological due to a bunch of factors. First, I am in "fall depression" which, for those of you who live in warm climates may not know about, is the depression that I get knowing that we are about to get hit with several months of winter. While it is beautiful outside right now, it won't last.

Second, I had really leveled off, although much closer to my goal weight. Something in my head says, "you are here, now you can relax" instead of being steady.

Anyway, I am going to the doctor next week for my knee and need to start back on the program right now.

I would be interested in how everyone else is doing.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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Hi Charlie Brown, I have never posted to you before but I have read some of your posts and have been silently cheering you on from across the pond.
I know what you mean about the autumnal blues. I have a tendency to want to hibernate when the dark nights set in, my yoga teacher talked today about it and says its a natural process and a time for inner healing and natures way of making us slow down to reflect.
Light boxes are supposed to be very good if you suffer from SAD badly.
Anyway I hope you can find the motivation again,you have done so well. Knee problems must be a real pain.
Good luck and take care.

naej #1617850 10/11/08 12:04 AM
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ok please dont beat me, my weight gal is to Gain. i am so grossly skinny from chemo and my health, I want my body back!


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If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
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ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

Babygirl #1629070 10/24/08 03:20 AM
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how are you doing?


sg
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sgctxok #1631389 10/27/08 04:04 PM
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On the weight front, not the greatest. I mentioned earlier that about a month ago, I fell off the fitness wagon and I've yet to get back on. Last week I was at a training class all week and they have world class chefs prepare the meals, so that wasn't great.

I am back up to 214, so I haven't ballooned fully, but I have given back 5 pounds of my gains. Moreover, I feel out of shape, which makes me feel sluggish. Time to make better choices.

I finally went to the doctor about my knee two weeks ago and he had good news and bad news. The bad news is that whenever I work out hard, I am likely to have pain in my knee for a couple days. The good news is that I am not causing any more damage and there is nothing that needs to be done surgically, so I need to just get used to it.

On the ML front, I was gone all last week and looking forward to Friday night, but my LDW told me Thursday that her fibroid (she has one about the size of an orange) had been acting up, which translates to discomfort and bleeding. So, we took a tub and relaxed and I was ok with it, even knowing that Sunday she would get her period and there would be no action for another week.

Next month she has her yearly ob appt. and she is finally going to be serious about getting the fibroid removed (they can do it in a way that leaves your uterus intact now) and she is also going to ask about switching to bcps that have a period every 3 months. Both are items I have wanted to see for a long time.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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Glad to hear from you.... \:\)

I have maintained that 6 lb loss and I need to get back on track.
I hear ya , life seems to get in the way ,,,
And today the weather is reminding me that Winter is soon to be here...
We had flurries here today. Yuck... nothing much though.....
UGH,, and the holidays.
I need a game plan now or I am not going to do well this year.

HMM,

Take care and God bless,
~Ava

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Thanks Ava. I tell you, it makes a difference to know that others are pulling for you, it really does. Last night I was watching a movie after the kids went to bed and at about 9, was tempted to go get some icecream, but I thought about my post yesterday and skipped it. Now, if I could just get out of bed to work out at 5:45 AM in the dark....

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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I know the dark mornings make me want to cover up and wait for the sun.
Yuck... I grew up here but I am starting to get sick of the hard winters..
~Ava

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Hi CharlieBrown,

I saw on Cinco's thread you mentioned listening to Sirius radio and listening to Tiffany Granath. Could you tell me what channel she is on ? I would be interested in listening to her also. I tried looking around to find her But I had no luck.

Thank You, Shelby


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Shelby #1641540 11/06/08 09:31 PM
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Shelby,

She is on Playboy Radio 198. Because of the nature of the content, you need to call Sirius and have them turn the channel on for you first.

IMHO, her show is the only good one, but it is really good.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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Hi I just found this DB forum yesterday.

Mind if I join in on the "shape up" fun. I started on my own early this month and have a goal of losing 15 pounds by Christmas. Our family will be going from the Cold PNW to the south for the holiday.

I lost a bunch last spring and started to really feel a lot better about myself. I got back to what I weighed in high school and could see my abs. However over the summer I got out of the routine and gained some back. Now that I know how to lose it it's just the decision to do it that I needed to make. I'm back on track at the gym and working out 3-4 times a week.

I weigh 190 now and my goal is really a low % of body fat (10ish) and not really a hard weight goal, so I'll end up somewhere around 180ish.

My plan is to use Interval running / weight lifting.
Diet: low carbs high protein. limiting carbs while eating veggies and protein.

5 things that really helped me to lose weight last time was:
1. cut out all soft drinks.
2. bring my lunch to work. Grilled chicken breast and eat 1 package frozen veggies
3. 3 larger meals and eat 2-3 snacks a day. Essentially stoking my metabolisim every 2-3 hours.
4. Eat as many of my daily carbs as possible in the AM. Read oatmeal.
5. Drink Smoothies. They can really make you feel full for a long time and are super quick to make.

Todays workout was 20 mins interval running and then medicine ball workout.


Willwa #1651471 11/17/08 03:41 PM
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Willwa,

Welcome! It is time for me to get going again as well. I lost about 8-9 late-summer, but have since put it back on and am in a very lazy mode. Something about the onset of cold weather that makes me feel like doing nothing but eating comfort food and sleeping in. The only time that works for me to exercise usually is early morning and I have been struggling to wake up. You have motivated me to go home early today and work out!

CB

PS - Please post often.


Me; 42, W; 43
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Hey CB thanks for the Welcome.

I just got to work after going to the gym. I'm really trying to get into the M-W-F routine of doing a interval training workout on the treadmill for 20 or so minutes. Then do the Med Ball 200 workout.

I don't feel the need to get into real weight lifting to build muscle this time. I'm working on just losing the fat and firm up the muscles I have already. Of course with the goal of a getting my "Six Pack" back!

After my work out I went to the store to pick up some stuff so I can make smoothies at work for a mid morning snack.

Did you take a pic of yourself when you started so you can look at it for motivation? Then take one when you accomplish your goal?

Willwa

Willwa #1651849 11/17/08 09:18 PM
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Hey CB~
I am in too.
I 'secretly' started again last Wednesday.
I will also commit to posting everyday... it was getting lonely around here....
Today?
I used the eliptical for 30 , bike for 20 and lifted weights....
I 'm so excited about this.
No excuses this time for ME!~!~ I want to lose 38 pounds.... my goal is a size 6... right now I am a size 10~12. If the size 6 comes before the 38 then so be it.... that much weight and I may be a 4~
I would have to ponder that.... I dont want to be tiny like Eva Longoria. I need to still have some vavoom!!!~!~!!!~!
It was snowing a bit tiday after I left the gym...
I feel fabulous....
I am going again tonite with the kids....
Yay ME~!
Love,
Ava

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Ava,

Welcome back! The more of us, and the more updates, the better. I also am going to try to do it in secret so it helps to have everyone here to account to.

Last night I went home at 4:30 and worked out. In doing so, I resisted the guilt trip from my wife (working out during dinner time delayed dinner, but just a bit). Felt good doing so and skipped the ice cream last night (although I did have 2 glasses of wine and some aged gouda). Had a bowl of cereal and a yogurt this morning and need to get that down to a cup of cereal tomorrow morning. Also, will get up at 5:45 tomorrow to work out.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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PS Ava, glad to hear you don't want to lose your curves. I hate the body image presented as attractive by today's Hollywood. Those women look like the have rickets and look sickly. To me there is nothing like a woman in good shape with a real body.

CB


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Thanks CB~
I definitely dont want to lose my curves.Just get smaller.
Great job on the working out....!~
I have to do it in secret ( DIET ) or it seems hubby tries to either go overboard and be the FOOD POLICE or SABOTAGE....
Plus I want to go at my own pace be it gung ho or slow and easy.
I was going to work out again last nite while the kids played at the Y.
I resisted I tend to go overboard and then I will be sore and wont be able to work out good.

Tonite the girls ( my 10 and 11 year old daughters ) and I are doing a group cycling class.
I am excited about that.
And so are they.
I think if I make it more a Family thing it will work better for me on the long run.
I am also excited about not gaining over the Holidays and not starting out the year feeling "puffy" , and guilty.

Always try to combine protein with a healthy carb in the morning.... CB
Maybe a hard boiled egg with your cereal?
It will help you to feel full longer. ( and apparently then you eat less thruout the day )
And fiber too... ( check the box)
I do protein shakes or omlettes with loads off veggies in a non stick skillet and no oil.
( naked juice and whey protein powder , shake and go!~!~ @ 340 calories and 30 grams of protein and 2 of fiber )
Takes you thru lunch or thru your workout~!~!~
Have a great day CB~
~Ava



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I'm going to resist going out for lunch (usually 800 cals or so) and stay in to have soup (240 cals and satisfying in cold weather). I need to get into that habit, not only good for weight, but for wallet!

Wife lost her job 2 weeks ago and has been working out 3-4 times/week, which she needed (not just to tone up, but mentally). Her job loss has put us into a weird place, which I will post about independantly.

CB


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I love soup too , this time of year ,and it can be very lo cal and filling too. ;\)
I am like your Wife .... exercise does wonders for me too~!~!
Not just my body~!~!
I went to the Gym..
30 minutes on the bike and 40 on the eliptical ( sp ?) machine.
Then my Group cycling class tonite...
YAY ME~!~
Ava

Delil@h #1652669 11/18/08 08:31 PM
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Great job Ava.

I had the soup and this afternoon have had about 15-20 m&ms, which are not good for me.

CB


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Hey CB, Ava, sounding good, keep it up. xcept no M&M's \:\)

I went to a counselor, for the first time, to talk about my issues. Then off to the gym to calm down, and run off some of what we talked about. 20 mins on the treadmill doing interval sprints makes me feel better and get my mind off things for a bit.

Went to work and had a smoothie. It seems to still be sticking to me through lunch. Sorry have no idea on how many cals was in it, but it was made from: almonds, fat free milk, low fat strawberry yogurt, banana, vanilla protein powder, and some flax seed meal.

Jumped on the scale this AM before breakfast and I was down 2 pounds, to 188.

I'll have my chicken breast that I brought for lunch either for late lunch or early dinner.

Willwa #1652995 11/19/08 03:20 AM
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Great smoothie I wish they made those around here....
I dunno of a place where they make those.... bummer.
I will just have to get some almonds and flax meal. I have the flax seeds but no grinder...
I love the smoothie idea it really does keep you full.
Good job CB~
I LOOOOOOOOOVE chocolate.
I think craving chocolate would have to do with it gets dark at 4:30 around here this time of year!~!~! Yuck..... Ya think?
So I have to steeer clear for now.
I wasnt able to go to the cycling class my girls invited a friend to the Y ~ with us.
The class is called "Family" cycling.... I told my girls I cant go and say...
HI~!~!....
....... here is my invisible Family. My girls laughed.
So I rode the bike for 30 then walked for 30 and lifted weights for my arms for 30.
YES~!~!~!




Delil@h #1653246 11/19/08 02:56 PM
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Great job both of you! That smoothie does sound good.

Last night my wife went out with some other women for a "girls night out" to dinner. I had a pretty big dinner (probably 1,000 cals) but nothing really bad for me (except the piece of pizza the kids had left that I should have put in the fridge. I put the kids to bed by 8:00 and was able to sit down and finish reading a book I have been reading called "101 Nights" about a couple that had sex for 101 straight days. While doing this I had one small glass of wine (there was about an inch left in the bottle) and I didn't open another one or get a beer when I was done, nor did I get ice cream. W came home about 9 and when it was obvious she wasn't coming home with renewed interest in getting some action, I kept reading and let her go to bed. I followed at 10 when she was still awake and we went to bed together. I agree with Cinco that this is important and I need to do it more, even though it often leads to frustration. Also, I was able to wake up at 5:45 and had a great workout until 7, then I was able to get the kids breakfast ready.

For breakfast I had a cup of cereal, rather than a bowl, a big glass of water, and a yogurt.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
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Way to go Charlie,
I am down only 2 lbs and I am feeling a bit sad today. Not cause of the minor loss but b/c hubby is far away and will be off and on all Winter. ( work)
I cant spend my whole day at the gym and I dont want to eat to comfort myself.
WTF~!~?
there is a coffee shop I love here and their homeade scones are to die for...
Comfort ?
I want to be smaller though,
...... so I have to find oher things to do with my time....
and at the same time just sitting her by myself forces me to be still.
I will work out today just later... skies are grey and I am feelig a bit grey too.
YUCK!~!~
Ava

Delil@h #1653689 11/19/08 09:26 PM
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Ava,

This extra time is a gift for you. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but if you can put that extra time towards working out, you will drop your 38 in no time! I wish I had time to spend 2-3 hours/day at the Y so I could do classes, swimming, and fun workout things.

Great job staying with it.

CB

PS - Soup for lunch today...


Me; 42, W; 43
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Just checking in. Did my now "Normal Routine" + 30 pushups, then off to work. Smoothie for snack/lunch and late lunch of Broiled Chicken Breast and Peas.

Also making sure I'm drinking lots of H2O.

Quote heard in the gym today that I really liked "Think of this [your workout] as therapy". I started to and it went by much faster...at least for me.


Doing cardio only workout tomorrow AM.

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Originally Posted By: CharlieBrown
Ava,

This extra time is a gift for you. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but if you can put that extra time towards working out, you will drop your 38 in no time! I wish I had time to spend 2-3 hours/day at the Y so I could do classes, swimming, and fun workout things.

Great job staying with it.

CB

PS - Soup for lunch today...


You are right... I am just being silly.
It is a gift.
I do have it good and the Y is a great place to workout you are right.
I know I will be out of my funk tomorrow.
And who says I cant be at the Y all day?
Hollywood Divas pay for that type of support and I give it to myself...
with a lot of ancouragement from you all too~! ;\)

Great job on the soup.
I had soup too... it is soooooooo cold outside..
I am going to try and make a acorn squash soup this weekend.????!~!~!
Lo cal of course.
Thanks for the post,
Ava


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Did my "Gym Therapy" session today. It felt good and I can see improvement my running today. I could do 2 intervals at a faster pace than I usually do. Met some new folks there too.

This AM before breakfast weighed in and I'm down to 186, so I lost a little more...feeling better now.

I'm thinking that I'll do a bonus leg workout tomorrow. Feeling the need to step it up a bit this week since next week is thanksgiving and I'll end up eating gravy, stuffing, and pie with ice cream.

When I work my legs I can really feel the cals burning off.

W

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Willwa #1655397 11/21/08 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted By: Willwa
Did my "Gym Therapy" session today. It felt good and I can see improvement my running today. I could do 2 intervals at a faster pace than I usually do. Met some new folks there too.

This AM before breakfast weighed in and I'm down to 186, so I lost a little more...feeling better now.

I'm thinking that I'll do a bonus leg workout tomorrow. Feeling the need to step it up a bit this week since next week is thanksgiving and I'll end up eating gravy, stuffing, and pie with ice cream.

When I work my legs I can really feel the cals burning off.

W


Great job W~
Holy ambition..
Keep up the "therapy"!~!~!~!!!!!!!!!!
\:D

I didnt go to "therapy" this morning...
I am down 4.8 pounds now in one week. Very good for me~!~!
I will go to therapy tonite though, probaly a good 1 and half 2 hours of it too.
I agree with the leg work.....
But for me ?
I tend to get muscular right away. So I have to be careful. I know they say Women dont that easy but I do and I am only 5 feet 4 inches.....
Last Winter I was up to lifting 300 lbs... with my legs and my arms couldnt top 15 lbs...
GRRRRRR~
Tis time I am staying away from the heavy leg lifting.. lots of reps and low weight even if it feel slike nothing and for arms?
I am doing a full routine with low weight for now to get strength and the rowing machine for definition when I lose more weight.
What do you think?
Ava

Delil@h #1655504 11/21/08 10:01 PM
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Ava,

Lots of reps with lower weights is the way to go to tone up without bulking up.

Great job both of you.

I slacked off yesterday and today (although I did have my soup for lunch today). Won't work out by the time I get home tonight, but will FOR SURE tomorrow after my S's bball practice at 8 AM. Actually I am looking forward to it.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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I am so excited. I am down another 4.8 pounds.... so I have lost in total 8.8 pounds .
I am elated ... I am using the Weight Watcher Plan and it works for me. It fits in my lifestyle.
I love this.
I have even had pumpkin pie ( I love this .. I didnt have the cool whip though~)
And carrot cake another one of my faves.
I also have been working out alot.
At the Y~ yesterday my D11 was my "personal trainer"
she taught me to do lunges all around the track,
Good Lord did that work up a sweat. ( she learned them from her gym teacher....)
I WORKED OUT FOR A GOOD HOUR AND A HALF YESTERDAY.

This morning I had my protein shake again. If I am in the mood to cook I do an omelette w/vegetables. No cooking?
I have a hard boiled egg and a Kashi bar.
I am excited,, I turn 38 next month and I hope to at least be a size smaller~!~!~
~Ava
How are you doing Charlie and W~?
How do you like the snow Charlie?
Beautiful huh?
I need to get a shovel cant seem to find mine?
LOL~

Delil@h #1658234 11/25/08 02:49 PM
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Ava,

Wow, great job!

I don't have as good of a report, but to hold myself accountable, I am going to make one anyway.

Worked out Sat, but went out to dinner and ate too much. Sunday was a uber-lazy day and after church I ate/snacked all day and hung around the house watching football. Yesterday and today I couldn't get out of bed to work out (I actually thought about having to post here this morning but went back to sleep anyway). I am taking my son to a college bball game tonight and I am going to force myself to go home an workout first. I am also going to have a salad at lunch.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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I think the weather has something to do with it.
I feel like sitting at home and snuggling w/ my blanket too.
Thank God my kids motivate me.
Yesterday we all agreed to stay in and relax.\
plus I am still sore .. too many lunges.
Ava

Dont beat yourself up , just as long as you maintain over the holidays.... wont that be nice?

Delil@h #1658381 11/25/08 05:02 PM
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Ava,

Thanks for the encouragement. I AM going to work out today before the game!

CB


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Originally Posted By: CharlieBrown

One thing I have thought about is losing some weight. I believe part of the reason my wife is not as sexual as I would like her to be is that she would like to lose some weight, probably 15-20 pounds.
CB


I just read your first post in this thread. I think this is a big thing for my wife as well.

I've finally figured out that it doesn't matter how attractive I find her (I guess I don't count since I'm her husband) if she is uncomfortable with her body, that is the bottom line.

I've supported her over the years whenever SHE expressed desire to get in shape and lose some weight. I've bought equipment she wanted, I even supported her going to the gym after work (she works 3-11 mind you) with the girls she works with. Which basically meant I didn't get to see my wife at all on days I worked and she worked. That didn't last long.

She tells me she can't get motivated without someone to workout with. I've offered for us to try and join a gym etc, but she says it wouldn't work because of our different work schedules.

She even mentioned something the other day about BOTH of us going on Weightwatchers after the holidays. If she wants to, I have no problem doing it.

gcb1972 #1659131 11/26/08 02:23 PM
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gcb1972, you sound very supportive of your wife. I think some people look to other people to motivate them. They get energy from other people. It's quite common, I think. Sounds like your wife is the same way and she relies on you for motivation. That's a need you supply. Good for you for doing that.


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Second Bomb OW: March 08
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'Yes, I can.'
gcb1972 #1659510 11/26/08 08:28 PM
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gcb,

This is a tough thing because if you try to hard to encourage her, you are telling her in your own way that you don't find her attractive, no matter what you say, but if you don't encourage, then she might not find the motivation she needs.

In my case, I have to work out for me, but it helps me to have a group to report to (I think WW would work for me as well). If my working out is an inducement to my wife, great, if not, at least I will feel better about myself.

My wife was laid off a month ago and has started going to the Y four days/week for classes and they really kick her butt. I noticed a couple days ago when she got out of the shower that she looked good and told her. I think that is all I can do from an encouragement standpoint.

CB

PS - Worked out yesterday.


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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OMG Ava,

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you highjacked GF's thread. I missed you so badly, it hurt. Where is your thread????? What is the name of it???? Where is Silly Ole Bear. I desperately hope he's alright. Please stop by my thread once in awhile. I love you so much, girl!

Poet
P.S. Sorry for the highjack here, but I had to find Ava!

poet #1661235 11/29/08 09:57 PM
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Your thread is locked Chica.
Start a new one already, even if you don't post much it gives people a place to say hi to you...
I thought a lot about you but you had no thread and then boom I just found you again,
I love you too and once again I am so happy for you.
I can 'feel' your happiness in your posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ava

Delil@h #1663200 12/02/08 03:23 PM
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Ava,

Thanks for being my cold-weather inspiration. This morning, after hitting snooze three times and being super-warm in bed, I thought, I need to work out so I can keep up with Ava! I did (for the first time in a week) and it felt like it had been a year since the last one. Glad I did it.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
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Originally Posted By: CharlieBrown
Ava,

Thanks for being my cold-weather inspiration. This morning, after hitting snooze three times and being super-warm in bed, I thought, I need to work out so I can keep up with Ava! I did (for the first time in a week) and it felt like it had been a year since the last one. Glad I did it.

CB


You are very welcome.
I know isn't like once you are there, you think?
This is actually nice.

I have decided to slow down a bit and also to be more realistic.
It is a Marathon not a sprint and I want this to be lifelong. And I want to look hot and firm not drawn out and tired. So I have tweaked it some.
I fit into a pair of pants today that just 2 weeks ago didnt close~
I havent lost anymore.
I am however getting smaller.
So that is good. Awesome in fact~
I got too sore one day~





but yes keep me for inspiration ... cause more snow is coming soon!~!~ YAY!~!~~
3-5 INCHES!!!!!!! Fun.


The best gift I think this can be, is that, on New Years Eve ...
You can say to yourself ,
I am already on my way to a healthier me this year!
And I gained *0* lbs over the holidays.

Oh and dont forget this one.
I read it is 80% nutrition and 10% exercise.
This is written by a fitness expert. ( I bought the book on Black Friday , the only thing I bought as a matter of fact!~!~ )
DUH?
I never thought about it like that.
You feed your body sometimes 3-5 times a day.
It is easier to put good stuff in and watch the calories than to try and burn off the bad choices.
I am now eating steel cut oatmeal, flax seed and honey for breakfast , and still smoothies too.... oh and no sugar.... that for me is hard only cause I loved baked sweets especially this time of year. Because I don't consume sugar otherwise.
I LOVE TO BAKE~!~
I told my son...
" I should sell my cookies .."
and he said
" MOM THAT SOUNDS GREAT AND YOU CAN GIVE ME HALF THE PROFITS !!"
So smart and so young... \:D
I will update tomorrow.
Good job Charlie...
Ava




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I am awake and I have energy.
hhhmmmmmmm? WEIRD~
I live on a corner lot and I have already shoveled. It snowed last nite and it looks beautiful.

And another side note. I made steel cut oats in my crock pot ( gift from a friend ) LAST NITE. I started them before I went to bed.
Nice and warm and looks wonderful. I hope they taste good too.
Have a fabulous day everyone!!!!
Ava

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Not sure how everyone else has been doing on this, but I have been doing really crappy and am officially getting back on the horse...

Worked out hard yesterday afternoon. Last night, didn't have any alcohol (was going to have an evening beer but didn't because of cals) and had only a yogurt in the evening (vs. ice cream normally).

Suspected I was up and confirmed it this morning on the scale when I weighed in at 219, my worst in a year. Time to stop being the human vacuum!

This morning had a small bowl of cereal and part of a banana.

I will now focus on getting back down to 205.


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charlie - cereal and banana bad choice for bfast - too carby and sugary

Try eggs and an apple or berries - lunch and dinner protein and green veggies!

this works - good luck


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Pssst . . . Luvless . . . check the date on that last post. smile

But it's probably time to start this old warhorse back up again anyway. I know I just resolved to go back to losing weight. Who's with me?


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lol now im sillyoldluvless smile

I saw the 12 didn't see 08..oh well it's still good advice.

I've lost 6 lbs - the heartache diet works everytime!


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Hey, we're back. I started my low-carb diet again this past week. I basically do Atkins modified by adding as many unsweet vegetables as I want--I figure there's no way spinach, peppers, lettuce, celery, etc. can cause too much trouble, though I do stop with the corn, peas, carrots and all starches.

This works for me because I have a horrendous sweet tooth. Will keep updating.


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Traded in the Atkins for a gym membership. Atkins/low carb works for me, but I noticed long ago that it seems to work mostly by boring you into eating very low calories--after the initial gorging on cheese and bacon I usually averaged 1200-1500 calories per day.

Instead I'm now shooting for 2000 fairly balanced calories/day with an emphasis on protein and fewer carbohydrates than most people eat, though I don't deny myself artificial sweeteners. That's coupled with at least half an hour to an hour of cardiovascular training daily, though, depending on whether I lift that day or not. I lift weights four times per week (large movement upper-body, large movement lower-body, break, then repeat, then two more breaks.) On the lifting days I do half an hour of cardio. On the active rest days I do an hour.


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My gym is opening a franchise a few blocks from my new workplace, so I'll be able to stop off after work. That will be a big help.


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I doubt anyone reads this anymore, but who cares? I'm over 22 pounds down from when I joined the gym and I'm really starting to see the cardiovascular endurance improve, too.

My goal is to be back to the weight I was at when I quit grappling by the end of January and back to the weight I was when I was doing metric centuries on my bike (100-kilometer "races," though my idea of racing was pretty leisurely) by the end of this coming school year. If I can maintain a gym habit, I think I can do this pretty well.

In theory, if you can create a deficit of 3,500 calories, you've burned one pound of fat, give or take. Daily maintenance for my current weight is over 3,000 calories by the Basal Metabolic Rate method, so the first thing I've tried to do is to eat the maintenance level for my eventual goal (about 225-250, which on my frame is fairly muscular and reasonably lean) which means staying somewhere between 1600-2000 calories per day. For now, I use 2000 as my benchmark . . . but I try to burn at least 500 calories per day in the gym doing cardio work just so that I have something trackable and repeatable. The goal is to create a 1,000 calorie deficit minimum per day. That would mean I burn 7,000 more calories than I take in every week, which translates to 2 pounds lost per week on average. The calorie numbers sound kind of extreme, but the rate of fat loss is right in the middle of what most doctors recommend.


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Yes they do read it and congratulations on your weight loss.

Ok, I'll share, I have gone from about 253 in August 2009 down to 217 pounds as of today and from totally out of shape last year to running a half marathon in June of 2010. I will soon sign up for another half marathon.

As someone who is 61, my metabolism isn't what it use to be. My resting metabolism (based on the fancy electronic scale I purchased) is about 1,920 cal per day give or take a little, so I envy your 3,000 calorie youthful metabolism. I have found that if I don't really exercise pretty hard, the weight just won't come off.

If I exercise hard and stay hungry then the pounds drop off until I hit a plateau. Then I need to adjust diet and exercise levels again after a while for any further weight to drop off.

What I eat has also really changed over the past year. I now avoid hamburgers, french fries and all junk food. If I get a sandwich, I take half the bread and toss it so I have an open faced sandwich. I eat a lot more salads and veggies and try to add high fiber foods to each meal. I also amost never have a desert or candy. I really try to cut my dinner portion size a lot, and try hard to only eat half of what is served at a restaurant and bring the rest home in a doggie bag. To me portion control has been a big issue.

I feel like I have been fighting from one weight plateau to the next recently. My long term goal is to get down to about 185 pounds, so I have a ways to go, but I also am pleased with the changes in my body and what I am able to physically do. I am no longer obese, just "overweight," which I am proud of.

I have been thinking about getting some personal trainer time at the gym I go to to try to break the 200 pound barrier, but haven't done that yet.

My weight loss and improved physical condition were one the the things that convinced my wife that I was serious about changing my life. My determination in this area made a believer of her when it came to my statement that I was going to be in a satisfying sexual relationship next year with or without her, but that I preferred it to be with her.


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Oh boy, oh boy, oh boY!!! I was just thinking that I wished there was a whole section in these forums on "keeping physically healthy" and then I found this! Another big bonus is that I found you, Young! I'm 57 and feeling like I'd like to make another big push to make this marriage all it could be. I'm also quite the old duffer on this site having come here half dead from discovering my H's affair in 1999. Many things helped us rebuild and the folks on this site were more valuable than I could ever convey and miracle after miracle got us to a much better place...not perfect but a whole lot to be thankful about!

Like I say, things could be better... and bet that if I worked on several things we could get to a better place. One issue is that we have both pretty much lost our sex drive. I was on antidepressants for 9 years this time, which always make me lose desire (I've been on them 3 periods of my life), in fact I expected that I would be on them the rest of my life but lo, another miracle, I managed to get off them (happy dance!) however this time desire hasn't flooded back (rats!). One of our problems is definitely my weight. It's a turn-off to my H, although he doesn't complain about it any more, and ya'll would be familiar with all the problems being the out of shape one entails. Like you, Young, I'm a plateauer. Between Jan and April I lost 20 lbs (even with that am right on the borderline between obese and overweight). The good news is that I stabilized and didn't gain it back but I'd like to lose 30 more lbs. So can I hang out with you guys?

2Learn #2059464 08/19/10 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted By: 2Learn
...One of our problems is definitely my weight. It's a turn-off to my H, although he doesn't complain about it any more, and ya'll would be familiar with all the problems being the out of shape one entails. Like you, Young, I'm a plateauer. Between Jan and April I lost 20 lbs (even with that am right on the borderline between obese and overweight). The good news is that I stabilized and didn't gain it back but I'd like to lose 30 more lbs. So can I hang out with you guys?


Congratualations on your weight loss. The medical benefits of going from obesse to just overweight are incredible, especially for someone over 55. You should view yourself as a real winner in life for being able to do that and maintain your weight loss. That means that you have adjusted a number of lifestyle issues.

One of my sons has a college friend that is a doctor and he basically said that wieght platues are a natural thing. That you need to increase your eating for a week or so and/or drop your excercise so your body metabolism gets a bit confused then start pushing the use more calories than you take in thing all over again.

As a man, I will tell you that I love my wife for who she is not because of her weight or the smoothness of her skin. While I might ogle a thin 25 year old, I really want to make love to and be made love by my wife, who I have shared so much with. One's attitude toward your body and your self image are what will really inspire your husband. I keep telling that to my wife because she has some real body image issues that get in the way of our ML.

I have found that running on a treadmill and weight machines at a gym are what seem to be the best exercises for me. I have one knee that I injured (surgery) at a ski resort when I was young. I find that running on pavement is just too punishing for my lower body. I love swimming but where I live there aren't any good indoor pools nearby. I also have an eliptical trainer at home that I will ocassionally use, when I can't get to the gym or want a quick afterwork bit of exercise. My wife and I have also started walking on weekends together along trails and short (2 to 4 miles) hikes.

Most things I read indicate that heavy exercise is a natural anti-depressant. I know that since I have started to do much more exercise that I can deal much better with the stress of my job. So in addition to health benefits, loosing weight and feeling better about yourself, there are other benefits.

On a recent vacation in Europe, we got to the train station in a city where we had a rental car and waited for a taxi to take us to the rental car office, but none came. After over an hour we started to make phone calls and ask people. There was a festival that basically closed the city down. So we walked with our luggage about 2.5 kilometers to the rental car agency. Luckily we were in good enough shape and it became one of those things that was a joint challenge success for us. During the trek, we asked several people for directions and they were so nice to this 60-year-old tourist couple that that to became a highlight of the trip. Another highlight of our trip was going for a hike in a mountain range and canoeing along a river.

So being in better shape & loosing weight not only allows one to fit better in the cheap airline seats, but also allows one to do things.

In the past year I have run in two organized races. One was a 5-mile and the other a half marathon. I was amazed that the vast majority of the people participating in these events were women and not young women. You would really fit in, in one of these events. Some of the women fast or power walk these events and others jog or run them. With say three or four months of training at three or so times a week you could easily sign up and participate in one of these kinds of events. Many of them help raise money for worthy charities. Several of the participants do memorials for friends of their who have recently died. A number of women I saw did the event as a "girls weekend out" type of thing.

The amazing thing about participating in one of these events is that it will change your self-image and your image in the eyes of your spouse and co-workers. Rather than feeling you are "an old duffer" you may think and act like your body is a fit, well-oiled machine.

Again, while my wife will not exercise with me except for hikes and things on the weekends, she ran/walked the 5-mile event I was in(but not with me) and takes great pride in her accomplishing that. You might try to figure out something that you and your H can do both on a regular basis and then as a special deal. There are lots of 5K, 10K & half marathons at destination resorts including; DisneyWorld, Las Vegas, Memphis, San Diego, Hawaii so it can be made into a fun vacation as well. A kind of reward for months of exercising and training.

Since I am on a roll, I might as well keep going. Getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night has also been an important lifestyle change for me, although I still have problems turning off the TV or leaving the computer alone after dinner. Too little sleep really makes weight loss difficult.

As far as eating is concerned I am now a real believer in high fiber low glycemic index (low GI) foods and even more in portion control. I am finally eating much more fruits, raw tree nuts and raw veggies each meal and I feel it has made a huge difference.

I still eat meats, eggs and dairy products, but just not as much of them. The only time in the past year that I had a hamburger or french fries was after the half marathon. I felt that on that day I could probably eat anything and it would be OK. When in a work meeting, I am faced with a sandwich, I try to take just half the sandwich and turn it into an open face sandwich and use a knife and fork to slow myself down and eat less of the high GI bread.

I am sure that with your 20 pound weight loss; you too have some insights into what works for you that others would appreciate.

Good luck to you and your husband.


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Back on track today . . . first day for teachers, and of course there were two dozen doughnuts on the table. Local ones . . . better than Krispy Kreme. I did not succumb. Counting my large dinner, I had about 2400 calories today. But the elliptical machine thinks I burned about 900 on it . . . and with the leg presses, back hypers and bodyweight squats, I figure I probably burned an even 1000 over my maintenance number.

I'm beginning to think about rewards. I think when I hit my final goal, I'm going to get my tattoo. I don't know what it will be, yet, exactly; I have a friend who does excellent, clean graphic design, and I'm going to ask him to make something unique and very simple out of either the Rod of Asclepius or the Star of Life . . . maybe both.


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Originally Posted By: SillyOldBear
....two dozen doughnuts on the table. Local ones . . . better than Krispy Kreme. I did not succumb.

....the elliptical machine thinks I burned about 900 on it . . . and with the leg presses, back hypers and bodyweight squats, I figure I probably burned an even 1000 over my maintenance number.

I'm beginning to think about rewards.

...I'm going to get my tattoo. I don't know what it will be, yet, exactly; I have a friend who does excellent, clean graphic design, and I'm going to ask him to make something unique and very simple out of either the Rod of Asclepius or the Star of Life . . . maybe both.


Good for you in not giving into the temptation of doughnuts!

Your workout is really impressive. Today I was on a treadmill at the gym for 46 minutes and burned (according to the machine) 667 calories. Much of the run I ran a fast (for me) 5.5 mph, then after 30 minutes I slowed it down to 5 mph or a 12min mile, with the final 5 minutes droping down half an mph per minute.

It felt good to be exercising and I felt strong, but not nearly as hard a work out as you got. I try to alternate running days and weight lifting days, but tomorrow I am scheduled for a 90 minute massage (oh YES! talk about stress relief and relaxation.) Life is good!

Take care and exercise hard!


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Uh...I walked around the block with the dog...? Resisted Dairy Queen! Made a nice dinner for us not too bad with the carbs and fat and LOTS of veg. H was grateful. Dinners ahve been pretty irratic here at daughter's home. We leave for our home early today. Got some LF 100 cal bottled coffee. Must go back to bed! I'm thinking about that half marathon...

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You guys are very inspiring! and sweet!

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Originally Posted By: 2Learn
Uh...I walked around the block with the dog...? Resisted Dairy Queen! Made a nice dinner for us not too bad with the carbs and fat and LOTS of veg. H was grateful. Dinners ahve been pretty irratic here at daughter's home. We leave for our home early today. Got some LF 100 cal bottled coffee. Must go back to bed! I'm thinking about that half marathon...


You are doing well!

As to thinking about a half marathon, it really is doable, if you train for it. If you do decide you should plan on giving yourself about 4 months training prior to the actual run and you might want to try a shorter run (5K, 5-mile, 10K) run prior to the half marathon, just so you will get use to the race start hupla and excitement.

If you decide on doing it, I will be happy to provide you with a few book references that you might want to read to understand some of the training schedules etc.

Even if you don't do something like an organized race, just working on increasing your exercise intensity will provide lots of benefits and help with your weight loss (at least in my experience).

Good luck.


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Today I weighed in at 30 pounds less than the beginning of the summer. That leaves me with a long way to go, but I was plateaued at right around 25 pounds lost for nearly three weeks without taking any more weight off at all. It feels like I broke through a wall.


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That is a lot of weight loss for the summer. Congratulations, you have clearly been working at things.


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Originally Posted By: SillyOldBear
Today I weighed in at 30 pounds less than the beginning of the summer. That leaves me with a long way to go, but I was plateaued at right around 25 pounds lost for nearly three weeks without taking any more weight off at all. It feels like I broke through a wall.


SillyOldbear,

You got 25lbs off in 3 weeks? What did you do to get that?

It will plateau, just like anything else. Back off for some time and hit it harder to break through.

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No, the plateau began when I'd lost 25 pounds and lasted 3 weeks.


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SillyOldBear,

How long did it take for you to get the 25lbs off in the first place?

Thanks.

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I honestly don't quite remember exactly when I started, but it would have been May or June, so figure about three months or so.


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Weighed in at almost exactly 35 pounds down today. I doubt I will average that yet, but I have to be close. My goal was to be 35 pounds down by October first (meaning averaging that weight over 3 days) so I should make that easily.

Next goal is 45 pounds down by Halloween. I'm taking my twins to an NFL game that day, so it would be nice to be celebrating a milestone. Basically my goal for the foreseeable future is ten pounds per month, so 40-45 pounds down by Thanksgiving and 55 pounds down by Christmas. If I can keep that pattern going, I'll be 85 pounds down by my birthday and right around the weight I was at when I was riding bicycle centuries and studying jiu-jitsu. I really want to get back there.


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Weighed in at almost exactly 35 pounds down today. I doubt I will average that yet, but I have to be close. My goal was to be 35 pounds down by October first (meaning averaging that weight over 3 days) so I should make that easily.

Next goal is 45 pounds down by Halloween. I'm taking my twins to an NFL game that day, so it would be nice to be celebrating a milestone. Basically my goal for the foreseeable future is ten pounds per month, so 40-45 pounds down by Thanksgiving and 55 pounds down by Christmas. If I can keep that pattern going, I'll be 85 pounds down by my birthday and right around the weight I was at when I was riding bicycle centuries and studying jiu-jitsu. I really want to get back there.


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Anybody still out there? I had some more plateau time, but I'm now 45 pounds down from that original figure at the beginning. I'm fitting into pants I haven't worn in a few years and doing an hour of cardio on an elliptical machine without heavy strain, which has really been better than the weight loss. When I got the bike out for the first time this spring, I did a fast ten miles without ever really getting winded. I'd planned to go out for a longer spin this morning, but it's pouring out there and I think I'll hit the gym instead.

Anybody else working on this?


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I'm now down about 45 pounds total from my highest . . . now averaging about 2-3 pounds per week. Today I set a goal for one year from now: I will be under 220 pounds (that would be the lightest for me since 8th grade, and 20 pounds lighter than my college football playing weight) and will make my first skydive.

This weekend I rode the 25-mile route of the Tour de Cure, a century fund raiser for the Diabetes Association. In July I'll ride the 25-mile L.A.T.E. Ride (riding along the lakefront in Chicago beginning at 1 a.m.) Between now and then I'll continue to train; my goal is 100 miles per week over the summer break, replacing the elliptical trainer and more with the road bike. By the end of the summer I will ride the full 100 miles in the local century ride at the end of September. I should be right at 300 pounds by then.


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I'm now down about 45 pounds total from my highest . . . now averaging about 2-3 pounds per week. Today I set a goal for one year from now: I will be under 220 pounds (that would be the lightest for me since 8th grade, and 20 pounds lighter than my college football playing weight) and will make my first skydive.

This weekend I rode the 25-mile route of the Tour de Cure, a century fund raiser for the Diabetes Association. In July I'll ride the 25-mile L.A.T.E. Ride (riding along the lakefront in Chicago beginning at 1 a.m.) Between now and then I'll continue to train; my goal is 100 miles per week over the summer break, replacing the elliptical trainer and more with the road bike. By the end of the summer I will ride the full 100 miles in the local century ride at the end of September. I should be right at 300 pounds by then.


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Any one around who'd like to revive this link?


me: 57
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Last sex: 04/06/1997
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I gained 60, then lost 85 pounds.
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Anybody else having trouble with their weight?

I lost at first, which mystified me because I wasn't doing anything but crying all the time, but in the months since, I'm back up to an alltime high, a little more than when I adopted the weightwatchers lifestyle a few years ago. This week I'm back to tracking, going to the gym every day, and getting back on the scale. No more head in the sand.

Just want to encourage myself and any others who haven't found the secret GAL weight loss plan. Anyone else finding they have to work hard at this?


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.
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