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S&A,

Thanks for the response.

"Why feel guilty about doing things just for yourself? What kind of example does doing only things for others teach them? Lose the guilt man."

This is just a reality. I have two small kids and run a successful, but time-consuming business. I try to do things that I want to do that will allow me to spend time with my family, especially my kids and it is tough to have time to do things "just" for me. Just the way it is and I think it is part of this time in my life. For example, I would love to stop off at a bar nearby that specialized in micro-brews and watch a baseball game there after work, but I would truly feel guilty when I could be home playing outside with my kids and helping out at the house.

"The only person you should ever be accountable to you is YOU. No-one else...Ever. That's not to say you should go around acting the egotistical jerk. But it does mean taking responsibility for your OWN mental, physical, emotional, economic and spiritual well-being. ALL THE TIME."

True, but in the past, I have done several weight loss "challenges" with friends or relatives and it just worked better for me. The times when I generically decide to "get in shape" turn into something I will do "tomorrow" and suddenly weeks and months go by. To each his own and if this doesn't work for you, do what does, but it has historically been effective for me and I thought others might want to join in. I'll take it from your narrative that you do not.


"Get disciplined and get into the right physical shape. NOT for your wife, but for YOU."

Agreed. I thought that was what I said in my original post. For my wife would only be an added bonus.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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BTW, either way I am planning on starting my journaling tomorrow.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 580
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Weighed in today at 216. I have been at the 210-220 range for over a year and have become way to comfortable adjusting to this weight. Time to change starts today.

My goal weight is going to be 200 by October 12 (two months away). I will do it by getting to 205 by September 15 and will have 5 pounds to go in the last month.

I will get there by:

1. Counting colories in a small notebook and targeting 1,900/day.
2. Increasing my exercise.

More to come.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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How did you do today?

Delil@h #1555629 08/12/08 07:58 PM
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Just to butt in here...don't know if this is welcomed advise or not but....I have been in really good shape my entire adult life. I should have excercised more at different times, but I have always been active and fit. However, I have been at times, up to 15 - 20 pounds above my ideal weight (never for longer than 6 months to a year), so I do know how to take it off when I get to that point...and I have done so a few times. But for the most part, I have stayed within 5 pounds of my ideal weight my entire adult life. I am 41.

So I have a few tips and tricks....(I talked to Ali a little bit on her thread but I know she is under stress right now and that is the hardest time to diet, so I don't know if she is still determined or not...) anyway...

The biggest and most important trick/tip is this: learn how to "enjoy" being a little bit hungry.

It actually isn't that difficult either, you just have to get used to it. But when you can get there, it actually feels GOOD to be a little bit hungry. There are studies about this phenomena that prove it to be true, and I personally know it is true.

When I get to the end of a day and feel a tiny bit hungry, I know that I have done well that day. I know that my body can now eat/consume its excess fat because I am a tiny bit hungry. I am not talking about starving yourself, just being a little hungry. The feeling that comes with it will surprise you if you can "get into it".

If this wasn't too much to share or if you want more tips from me, I will be back with more. But I like to be careful about giving tips about weight loss, because it can be such a touchy topic, and if you already know you can do it and have a plan, many times people don't want more tips.

Good luck!

DQ

DanceQueen #1556132 08/13/08 03:19 AM
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I so love this thread.

If you'd rather that I 'unsticky' it .... I will. Just click 'notify'.


For lots of folks, their partner's appearance is so related to their ability to be turned on. It is for my partner as well, so I understand.

Some have a wider range of weight and other preferences, and some have a smaller range.

For some of us who are more 'internally' oriented, we may feel that those who are 'externally' oriented are selfish or shallow. But it isn't true. It's just different.

So.....taking care of ourselves is loving to ourselves AND to our partner.



So....I'm happy and proud of you to be honest and bring it up.


I'm joining you.....working on diet and exercise as well.


Weighing in at 20 lbs tooo heavy. And I'm short/petite, so 20lbs over is more than I want to be.

My goal is to lose it by Oct 11. I'll check back.

Last edited by sgctxok; 08/13/08 03:20 AM.

sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
sgctxok #1556474 08/13/08 02:31 PM
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As I said, the more the merrier, so welcome...and thanks for the encouragement.

I appreciate the tip by DQ and think it is really true. I am a big guy who enjoys a hearty meal, so the first two weeks is always the toughest on me as I go through "stomach size adjustment" by eating smaller portions. Getting to like the feeling of being hungry is not natural for me, but I think that is a really interesting concept that I am going to work on.

So far this week, I have been less focused on my calorie goal and have been more focused on making good choices. For breakfast, I have been sticking to a cup of cereal rather than a bowl, skipped my nightly ice cream each night, and last night we took the kids to a movie (Journey to the Center of the Earth, whcih I give 2 out of 4 stars) and I didn't eat anything at the movie or after. Not even an evening beer or glass of wine.

Otherwise, slow start. My schedule this week does not allow me much exercise, but I need to squeeze some in somehow.

CB

PS - I am not telling anyone, including my wife, that I am doing this. I want to do a stealth diet and not draw attention because it seems like people around here revel in getting someone to break from a diet.


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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Right on, CB!

Hey, its weird, but I know all about the sabotage-the-diet aspect. I am always in pretty good shape, so I can't even speak the word "diet" without someone close to me getting on my case. They say things like "oh good lord, you've never had to diet a day in your life, stop trying to be perfect". Sigh.

Actually, I look perfect BECAUSE I watch what I eat and BECAUSE I get pro-active and start trying to drop weight when I am more than 5 pounds over my ideal weight! Naturally, if left to my body's own choice, I would be rather chubby. My body is not one of those types that just stays thin on its own accord. Quite the opposite. I can never let my guard down or the weight just piles on right away.

So it is insulting to me when people "don't want to hear it" because they assume I look like this by nature's design. If only they knew about my cookie addiction and how difficult it is for me to "just say no"! I have to fight and struggle to eat well every day! And yet...it is just assumed that because I don't ever go up in weight (that anyone else notices) I must be this way naturally.

Anyway...another tip....

This one is easy and you probably already know about it, but you can "fool" your body into thinking you've just eaten by drinking 8 ounces of water quickly. Your stomach will be "full" and for a while, it won't ask for food because there is no room for it. This is a very easy way to replace that urge for junk, ice cream, or even an alcohol drink - - with water! You need it anyway and it really can help you stay off of food for short periods of time (between meals, etc).

Another trick is V-8! I love that stuff anyway and drink one every day to keep up on my veggie count. But you can do the same trick with the water with a V-8 instead and get veggies that way, too. Just get the low sodium kind because the regular kind has way too much salt your body doesn't need or want.

DQ

DanceQueen #1556881 08/13/08 08:02 PM
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DQ,

Thanks for the tips, keep them coming. I am not a V-8 guy, but I will try the water trick. I do need to move away from Diet Coke and drink more water anyway.

I also need to not go home for lunch! Today I went home for lunch (I live 6 minutes from my office) and there were so many good leftovers that I paid no attention to portion size. I need to stay at work and eat a can of soup (220 calories or less and it fills me up). Be smarter you dummy (talking to myself and slapping myself on the forehead)!

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
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This is a true story. I used to work with a guy that was about about 6'2" and had put on some extra pounds. Then he started to lose some weight.

Finally one of the gals in the office commented one day, "Hey M. you are really looking good lately. What have you been doing to lose weight?"

M. answers, "Well, when I go out to eat at lunch, I only get one Big Mac now instead of two."

Cinco

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