A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


Save your marriage singlehandedly
with Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching
SPECIAL JANUARY OFFER -- SAVE $60
THREE DIVORCE BUSTING TELEPHONE COACHING SESSION FOR ONLY $330

CALL 303-444-7004 or use code: SAVE_$60 in the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11
Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders #1533173
07/26/08 03:37 AM
07/26/08 03:37 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline OP
Member
Ready2Change  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
First Thread --> Ready2Change (1) looking for guidance!
Second Thread --> Ready2Change (2) - Detached
Third Thread --> Ready2Change (3) - Papers filed
Forth Thread --> Ready2Change (4) - Drop the Rope
Fifth Thread --> Ready2Change (5) - No trust

Recap of my sitch:

I have been living with my wife for the past 17 years (married 11). We both are profesionals and make a good living. We have S9,S7,D6.

Feb 14 --> Realized my M was not in good shape.
Feb 18 --> I told wife "We need to talk". I listed out the following:
I want to do what is best for our M.
I want to do what is best for our kids.
I want to listen (really listen) to W.
I want more effective and frequent communication.
I don't want to get mad or angry.
I want to spend more one on one time with W.
I want to do more family activities.
I want to spend more one on one time with each of our kids.
I want to let W have the freedom to do what she wants.
I want W to let me have the freedom to do what I want.

Feb 18 --> I got the bomb (I don't want to be married to you any more, I don't want to slowly die inside, I want to find my soul mate )

I started DBing right away (Before I found/read book). Lots of 180's. I stayed out of W bubble and got into kids bubble. Cleaned up my looks. Started doing housework while W not around.

March 4: Read DR. (Wow those two weeks felt like months) Time was in slow motion.

March 4: This was the lowest point in R. No eye contact from W and only 1 Hi. She did not look good. She went to bed early and without saying goodnight to kids.

Lots of reading including:
Divorce Remedy
Venus/Mars
His needs/Her needs (good book!)

April 3: I find out W sells stock to retain lawyer. I believe I convinced her there is beter options including mediation.

April 4: First telephone coaching session

April 17: All day session with Wife and Michele

April 29: I visit lawyer to find out my rights. My state is Joint custody in 85% of cases and it is an equal equity state. Most of my fear goes away.

May 3 : I find out W has retained lawyer. Wants me to go sign papers at her lawyers on the 5th.

May 4th : Notify W I have lawyer and her lawyer needs to call mine.

June 1rst: Wife and I talk for first time in a while.

July 1: Wife and I agree to Nest. I have house and kids SMT W has kids and house WTF and we alternate S. 50/50 split.

Almost all communication is now by EMAIL. A few phone calls. We are dividing stuff, I move out August 1-3.

July 23 - Wife said good night to me on the phone! This was one of my original baby goals. Talk about patience...5 months.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: Ready2Change] #1533177
07/26/08 03:41 AM
07/26/08 03:41 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline OP
Member
Ready2Change  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
Temporary Orders hearing is in two days (Monday). I am preparing for court. Time to be cool, calm, and focused. I plan on dressing very nice and complimenting Wife. We have a 4 way at 9AM and the hearing at 10:30. Hearing will be 1 hour. W's L will ask W questions for 10 minutes, then my L asks W questing for 5 minutes. Then reverse with me. Each L then has 5 minutes of closing. Judge then makes decision for the last 10.

Wish me luck!


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: Ready2Change] #1533315
07/26/08 06:03 AM
07/26/08 06:03 AM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,585
Northeast
G
Gypsy Offline
Member
Gypsy  Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,585
Northeast
Yikes.. so that's what happens with Temporary Orders?

Good luck.. good wishes.

I'm trying to get over my fear of being fearful of that.. ugh.

*hugs*

Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: Gypsy] #1533393
07/26/08 11:09 AM
07/26/08 11:09 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,014
Martinsburg, WV
N
NNP1965 Offline
Member
NNP1965  Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,014
Martinsburg, WV
Best of luck to you R2C... cool, calm and focused - that is a great plan!


Me 54
DS19 and DS17
Married 06/1989
Divorced 01/2011
Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: NNP1965] #1533399
07/26/08 11:21 AM
07/26/08 11:21 AM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,306
Upstate NY
T
The Wifey Offline
Member
The Wifey  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,306
Upstate NY
I'm praying for you.


Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.

Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: The Wifey] #1533458
07/26/08 01:29 PM
07/26/08 01:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527
L
LosingSunshine Offline
Member
LosingSunshine  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527
R2C,
Good luck and you and your family are in my prayers.


My hearing is August 14 at 1130. Hoping to have a settlement agreement in place prior. And you are right, this is not the time to let your emotions take over. Be calm, cool and collected.

Chris


Me 34
W 33
D 4
S 2
M 5
T 8
Bomb 6/17/08
Served 7/17/08
I hate Tuesdays!
Current Thread
Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: LosingSunshine] #1535919
07/28/08 08:23 PM
07/28/08 08:23 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline OP
Member
Ready2Change  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
Hi all,

Thank you so much for your wishes and prayers.

Judge ruled that schedule stays the way it is:

The children are with me Sun Mon Tue
The children are with W Wed Thu Fri
Alternating Sat.

This decision releases alot of stress.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: Ready2Change] #1536440
07/29/08 03:35 AM
07/29/08 03:35 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline OP
Member
Ready2Change  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
This empathy thing sucks! Tears keep trying to come out today, but I didn't let them since kids were present. I know W is upset about what when down today. I feel sad that she is hurting. I feel sad that R is not improving (I know, be patient). I still miss my W. Packing makes this all the more real.

My stress level should go down some more after I move out and have the new place set up.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: Ready2Change] #1536442
07/29/08 03:37 AM
07/29/08 03:37 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline OP
Member
Ready2Change  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,803
Colorado
On a good note, kids and I went looking at sofas. W is keeping the one in the "marital house", so we will need one at our new house.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Re: Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders [Re: Ready2Change] #1536581
07/29/08 08:33 AM
07/29/08 08:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 131
OR
C
Continuing Offline
Member
Continuing  Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 131
OR
Hey Ready,
Sounds like you are having a tough time too. Thank you for having enough strength to encourage me even while you are in such pain.
I wish I could offer you more...sometimes I don't think words capture what we are going through, but I will offer what I can. You are walking a painful road but...you are WALKING.

B


My Story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1512790&page=1#Post1512790
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004