Just when I thought I would slide in here and follow along......
sofar....posts of strength over time. I admire you. I have called it quits here a few times and, yes, still find my way back. I understand your theories, but, I DO believe that the 'socializing' IS a part of moving on and acceptance. It's not all that bad.
I agree with you that...perhaps...those of us that came thru this..that are STILL going thru it....should remember our immediate post bomb roots and help some others.
I hope you stay too. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for those days when there was no sun.....and there you were.....and then there was light.
Man to man...stay strong....and live again. Your friend, Frank.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
so quick update said I wasnt going to anymore, but sometimes.....you just do.
Had court today, I didn't go.I signed the parenting plan and dropped it in my lawyers inbox with a note asking her to "handle" it for me.
One more step and I am officially divorced. I am feeling:
Relieved sickened free like a failure sad happy scared like throwing up Like having a celebratory dinner like drinking
So a bit up and down I would say. I also completed my bankruptcy filing Monday. That was a difficult thing to do as I have always prided myself on making my way and taking care of my responsibilities. It is also a huge relief in ways. It also hurts giving up the home that I practically grew up in. My house was my grandfathers home, and now it will be leveled and a new one built in its place. It was also the home that I remodeled for my wife, new kitchen, new floors, new master bath, and new appliances. A lot of memories, not gone, but misplaced.
that about covers it. Thanks to those of you who have checked up on me.
Ian-- It is good to hear from you. I have felt all of those things, and the closer I get to the D date, the faster they seem to cycle through my head, leaving me exhausted and spinning. The house thing sucks. I hope you took lots of pictures; you will appreciate that someday down the road. How are the kids? --Donna
One more step and I am officially divorced. I am feeling:
Relieved sickened free like a failure sad happy scared like throwing up Like having a celebratory dinner like drinking
So a bit up and down I would say.
Been there, done that. I still have those feelings. Sometimes i still wonder how it all happened so fast. (but it was never fast enough for the X.) And then I feel like i have been going through it forever. I was talking with a friend tonight who is recently seperated and she said "I can't wait til I am past all of this." I was thinking me too. LOL. I don't really have sadness anymore, mostly agitation and disbelief that I was ever married to that alien I see now!!!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
sorry to hear about the house Ian)))) I too agree with Donna, take some picts, I regret not having picts of my childhood home which was leveled also (it turned into a funeral home,yuck!)
Pressing the "speed" button for you, hope you able to pass this pre-post D filing moments and that you regain your strenght, hugs)))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Pressing the "speed" button for you, hope you able to pass this pre-post D filing moments and that you regain your strenght, hugs)))))
At this point, I am simply tired.
The battle is close to over and I am feeling worn out.
Maybe I simply need a nap.
I knew ahead of time that the end would be messy. I knew there would be 2 or 3 situations where I would feel the burn. Even knowing that it still hits you and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop it.
I feel like that guy in a Fish called Wanda, I see the steamroller coming, I even go so far as to mock it as it slowly approaches, and only when it is time to move out of the way do I realize that I am stuck in the cement and it's gonna hit me no matter what I do.
Other things in my life, well they are a little difficult for me to get into right now. To be honest I don't understand all the decisions that I am making and feel like I am somewhat shooting from the hip on some things.
I have spoken to a few of my board friends and have gotten some solid feedback. It isn't helping because to be honest I am feeling a wee bit selfish right now and want what I want. Regretfully, it may hurt in the end, but I am not ready to take a good look at all that right now.
I know this is confusing for some, to others it will make perfect sense. So hang in there folks, could be a bumpy road ahead.....blech.........
