Hope, I know you're feeling "finished" (and I am getting there myself), but remember that the initiator doesn't go through the emotional processing at the same time that we do.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Hope I empathise with you so much. For my H it wasn't his work that kept him away it was his karate. He trained 3 times a week (sometimes more) and for many years he taught on a Sunday morning so we could never have a weekend to ourselves. When our problems first began I asked him to forfeit just ONE of these times for time together. He didn't like it and didn't do it for long. He resented me for it. Then for a good 6 months before he finally left again he couldn't do any karate b/c of a problem with his heel.
Now he doesn't do ANY karate despite this being where he met OW! That so far has been the biggest smack in the face for me b/c I know if he had done as I asked we could have resolved a lot of our problems.
I think you are doing so well managing to retain a friendship with your H whilst still moving on with your own life. It's the lack of friendship with my H that's stopping me from moving on. I've accepted that he no longer wants me as a W but it's harder giving up your best friend as well
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
H called to say happy birthday today. Weird how yesterday he emailed me and asked me what my plans were for my bday, then tonight when he called, it was 8pm and he said he was sorry for calling so late in the day; he'd been busy and forgot. Even after all this time, I still get down about the situation; today was one of those days. Just felt sad this evening, and missing the years before all this happened. I did have a nice day, but thoughts of H popped up a lot. I'd like to wake up and feel nothing for him; it would be a lot easier.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Happy Birthday Hope! I too think he's not done with you, based on his touching base with you again recently. At least he called to wish you. My H hasn't wished me on any of the BDs since the separation. He actually moved out 2 days before my BD - my BD gift
I also think that something is up w/him, but it is also important that you move on and let him come to you if he is interested. That is what I have decided to do.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I agree that you are lucky he called. My H hasn't wished me a Happy anything in at least 2 years and no Happy Birthday's in 3 years. Husband left the dy before my 50th birthday.
BTW, hope you had a very Happy Birthday, Hope!!
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
