Hey Tom. Nice story and God love her for trying to re-build that R. I will however say, IMHO, that this is a double edge sword. Obviously the only person that get him out of that depression is himself and this girl "needing to be a ray of sunshine" for him...could be a lot of pressure for a little girl. The last thing a kid needs is to feel like it's her job to fix her daddy. Trust me my kids had to be there for my STBX all the time while she batteld her depression. It wasn't pretty.
Not trying to be critical. Her intentions are obviously impressive to say the least and it's a horrible situation to be in...sucks really. Just a fine line I guess with no easy answers.
I know Scott, the girl is only 10 years old. I think it stinks to have that burden placed on her. However, I think it would be worse when she gets older not to have some type of functioning relationship with her Dad. He's going to regret so many things when she grows up. He needs to get his sh*% together.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Yup...but unfortunately that is out of her control buddy. I'm not saying she shouldn't put herself out there to him...but she also has to know that he may not take her up on it and that if he doesn't...it is no reflection of her. Pretty hard concept for a 10 year old girl to grasp. Hell it was a hard concept for me to truly grasp.
Wow, this is a tuff one! I can see both sides because my kids are in the same boat with their Dad. I do think that her Mom should get some Kudos for teaching her daughter to have compassion even when you may not be getting it back. Besides, maybe that little bit of reaching out could make a difference. Hopefully she won't make it her job or her fault if he doesn't reciprocate.
The thing is, Mom is kind of "damned if you do and damned if you don't". If she just went and got the little girl what is that teaching her? Maybe to just give up on him as he did with her? Not having a parent in their life would leave a void in any child.
Like I said, this is a tuff one, but I like ATGO's friend for what she did and I don't even know here!
Sorry to hear about the mess with your Christmas plans. I hope you can work things out in a way that's best for everyone. It's early possibly ex will give it some more thought!
I wouldn't put the burden on the Child if the Father wouldn't reciprocate, but I at least think it's a good ideal to at least try.
This guy keeps blaming my friend for all his woes. He's lost his business because she successfully managed it when they were married, he doesn't pay her child support, won't look for a job, and he's addicted to pain killers. He's constantly calling her up and crying about his plight. She once told me she felt like his Mother instead of his Wife. He won't take any responsibility for his own actions. Real winner here. I feel sorry for her and her daughter.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
tough situation about your friend. I can see how she wants to keep a relationship for her daughter with her ex, but wow, that is a lot of pressure. add to it the fact that she is an addict, she's already set up for some therapy now, if not later in life. so hard on kids. any chance her daughter is getting some therapy now to help her deal with it all?
I am happy to hear that your friend seems like such a stable person, definitely a good role model for her daughter. that will help take her far, I'm sure.
hope you had a nice thanksgiving!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
It's always someone else's fault Tom...always. And we all know that he'll never do anything with his life as long as he's the victim. Sad. Such a waste.
I'm starting to care about somebody and I'm not sure I should continue seeing/talking with her or break it off before it heats up anymore than it already has. It hasn't gone into the bedroom yet, but If I don't stop myself and her it will end up there real soon.
This stuff scares me anymore. I was perfectly fine just casually dating, but I guess I got caught off guard with this one. We are like magnets to each other. We click like a finely tuned clock.
I didn't see this coming so soon. It's only been two years since I've been separated and IM not even legally divorced yet. I've dated 14 woman in the last 6 months (some more than once) and none of them gave me this kind of motivation. They were just good company and that was fine until now.
Am I asking for trouble or what? I don't know if I can trust my instincts anymore when it comes to relationships. I'm just so tired of having that wall up all the time. You guys know what I mean by that wall. Mine was steel, but she's taken a torch to it and I'm kind of enjoying the heat from it.
Last edited by Astimegoeson; 11/30/0712:14 AM.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
