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I sent him one more text. Telling him I basically envy him for being able to shut off his feelings and I wish I could do the same. That I'd lost faith and hope in him. That we needed to discuss visitation. That I hoped he's happy in his life with whoever he's with and that one day he might realize he had someone who loved him as he was, and that it might be too late.

Anti DB but hello - can't bust it if it's happened and I'm done.

Oh - funny thing - I got a text back saying that he had just gotten them from today and the 15th because he had too many and had to delete them.

No matter. It's over. I am just in the sad part of the stages.


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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NO MORE TEXTS......


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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I hear what you're screaming. I needed closure. He wanted me to be honest with him about how I feel. That's it......it's done. It appears to be very easy for him to cut contact with someone he "loved" for 13 years. I just wish I knew how to do that. I want easy.


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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Hey KS....

I'm sorry sweetie. It's certaintly not easy. Hmmm....I was divorced 15 days earlier than you. So that makes me the Big Sister! \:\) So I can tell you what to do Cept I have nothing to tell...I sit, where you sit. Still wondering and hoping against hope. Maybe it's time for us to do some DBing on ouselves If we look at the big picture.....we are divorced. They probably won't come back. Now what? We know they are always going to be a part of our life.....that alone drives me crazy! I don't think we will ever completly find "closure". Crud....I want to say something insighful that will make you feel better, but I can't. I'm sitting next to you wondering the same [censored]. I want easy. It was so easy for them, why can't it be easy for us?

So now that I am whining on the couch next to you......what are we going to do? Perhaps we should just take it one day at a time, stop beating ourselves up about it, and try to move slowly forward? I've had alot of alone time this past month, by choice. I needed it regroup my thoughts. I've did some 180's on myself. So far it seems to be working, but time will tell. So......skooch over, pass the popcorn and let's get out of this place........K? Let's try and find a place thats fun, inviting and non-judgemental!

{{{Hugs}}}

Jeanette


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Thanks Jeannette. I just don't get it. I had packed up some of his stuff that I brought back into the house because I stupidly had hope that he'd actually try his plan out at LEAST somewhat close to the outline......

I thought he took the stuff home (sigh of relief) only to find it sitting in his car in the garage. What? Why? Why not take it to your truck?

The past few days have been me spending time working on my bedroom. Rearranging it. Finding his things and stowing them in boxes. Reading stupid cards full of lies and crying. Locking my rings away in a lockbox.

One day at a time....one day soon I might be able to breathe again.

BTW I don't like this couch but welcome aboard. At least we're fun chicks ;\)


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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Originally Posted By: *KS*Chick*

BTW I don't like this couch but welcome aboard. At least we're fun chicks ;\)


I don't like it either! Too lumpy! Are you stashing away stuff in it?? Double bleh on those cards! You must keep them all like I do/did. They were not lies sweetie, they were real. Then. This is now. I cried over mine too.....Hallmark, when you care enough to send the very best! thanks dude!

Your never going to figure out the whats and why's, stop trying and start being you again! C'mon....I've seen your picture! Your attractive, your smart and FUN! To me, this is way easier than "waiting in limbo" ever was. Hell....who knowes what's around the corner. They are free now, free to be happy in their world. So are we. Just maybe and it's a small maybe, but now that we are all free, it will lessen the anxiety for them/us and we can all breathe again WITHOUT thinking. Maybe the worlds will meet again.

But until then......get up, get a grip and move forward!!! We'll go shopping for a new couch......K?? hehehe, but not leather....it sticks


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Originally Posted By: *KS*Chick*
The past few days have been me spending time working on my bedroom. Rearranging it. Finding his things and stowing them in boxes. Reading stupid cards full of lies and crying. Locking my rings away in a lockbox.

One day at a time....one day soon I might be able to breathe again.


*KS*Chick*,

I know where you are coming from. I hope and pray you will feel better about your situation.

I found all of the cards and placed them randomly in exW's boxes. So, she would find them at different times. I do not have a single card in MY house!

Take Care,

RMG


"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"

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You know -- we had this thing I'd started a while back ... notebooks that we wrote letters to each other in. They also trailed off last summer. I got new notebooks...same thing.

He's chosen to leave every letter, etc. that I wrote - before and after the bomb so I'm keeping them here. He obviously doens't want them, or wants to be happy in denial-land. They're now all put up in a box. Rings are in a firesafe box along with other wedding day articles....garter, pearls...... It does so make it hard to breathe.

He replied to a text this morning saying I'm not an idiot, I'm just mad and it's understandable.

Whatever.

So now.....what? I don't know.

Jeannette - do you like this couch?


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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Ladies,

Alright, now I'm going to try to be as sensitive as I can here, but honest too. I can appreciate your need to vent, and this is a good place to do it. I'm hoping it is just venting, and not the beginnings of a long term relationship with resentment and angst.

So reality is coming home to roost like a friggin bulldozer. It's real tempting to blame others, XH's, for your misery, but please just let that go. You carry as much responsibility for the death of your M as they do. You both signed D papers and nobody held a gun to your head. The battle is OVER, it ended when the ink dried.

Now you carry the burden of remorse, anger, fear, resentment, guilt, neediness, selfishness, etc. The sooner you can drop that burden and move on without it, the sooner you will be free again. Trust this for sure, if there is any hope of some kind of reconciliation with your XH's, it will NOT happen as long as you are controlled by the above.

It's time to let your H's go, let them be, forgive them, accept them for who they are, and move on with life. It's a process, it'll take time, so start setting some positive goals. Check out http://www.divorcecare.com. Join a support group, prayer group, etc.

Stop blaming your H's for your misery, and accept the fact that YOU alone are to blame for your current state. Turn the page, and open your eyes to the beautiful world that lies before you.

Courage, strength and faith.

God Bless,

COG


My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
COG #1169288 08/20/07 03:42 PM
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Well Cog, considering up until less than a week ago, H had told me he WOULD try....and considering it didn't matter if I wanted the divorce or not because in our state he can divorce me without my signature or ink........it's a process........

Not even a week. I'll stop posting though - so you don't have to read my angst. Later.


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

me=ok /D'd since 7/07
D=ok
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