That makes sense! Let's go with that. All I know is that I have a buddy...and his buddy owns this little hole in the wall bbq place and it is just CRAZY good. mmmmmmm....
So, I've been emailing back and forth a bit with Dana and Doug this mornign and they have both given me a lot to think about. Good stuff. I'm feeling like I'm really getting back on track. Doing much better. Thanks guys!
This girl at work keeps IMing me! AHHH! I gotta stop that. I like talking to her, she's tough and funny...but man. LOL.
Not all anger is bad...if you can channel your anger, it is one of your most powerful and useful emotions. Anger put into action is amazing.
Anger is not a bad emotion unless you choose to stay there. Anger feels better than depression/helplessness/fear, so it's natural to want to climb higher on the emotional ladder. The key is to acknowledge it and let it propel you to an even better emotion...all the way up until you get to the more positive, good-feeling emotions.
Yeah, I used to have anger issues too. Now, I still get angry, but I express it appropriately and let it go. Sounds like that's what you do as well.
Haven't caught up on your sitch, but it sounds like you're working your way through this minor bump. You're human, so things will bother you from time to time. But now you've got these great tools to climb on out....
You really are my hero, Scotty.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
SO...i've been putting something off for far too long and I finally just did it. I told my boss. He has known my W since we were dating and has always REALLY liked her. Always jokes that it is why he hired me...so he could look at her. So that was hard. Also, I didn't want it to effect him hiring me and then i didn't want it to effect him giving me the promotion. His response was, "dummy, it only would have made me more likely to hire you". Well at least we haven't finalized the raise yet!
So he was pretty upset. Told me that he and his wife went through something for about a year but managed to work it out. They seem pretty happy now.
He was very supportive a little upset that I didn't tell him sooner but having gone through it himself he totally understood. Gave me a hug afterwards - he's so funny. So that is a relief. Hated the feeling of him not knowing. Even told him about H, so now he's all excited to live vicariously through me. LOL.
He asked if he was allowed to be angry with my W. Told him that I wasn't, that it just made me sad. He agreed. Told him what I did to get us there. Actually he felt bad because he laid me off 5 years ago and hoped that it didn't play a role in it. Have to admit, that was a very stressful time and put me into an even more stressful situation with my next job and all...but how I dealt with all of that was my choice and I told him that.
I remember talking to my W's old boss, we were all good friends, about our sitch. He was floored, said he had no idea we were seperated and divorcing. He sees the W nearly everyday at work and she still hasn't said a word to him about what is going on.
Like Scott said before, it is probably them dealing with the guilt of their bad choices?
Me 45 WAW 46 Married 23yrs D22 S18 D12 W moved out 1/12/07 Divorce Final 2/06/08
Yes and Yes. I know that when my W has told people, which has been rare, it has been all about what I have done wrong. She certainly doesn't say anything about how she has lied and cheated on me for years. Meanwhile I take full responsiblity for my part in it. I was a miserable SOB for years. I let that be known. I tell them what I did, the things I said. I just told my boss that a lot of it was my fault and he nearly jumped down my throat. LOL
