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Jeff223 #1050999 05/12/07 09:42 PM
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Thanks Jeff.

I'm just waiting to hear that they're moving in together at this point.

Okay, now I see where you're coming from re. if you don't agree on things. I still thing that if it's going to be so long till court, she may soften up before then, even if it's only to make things go quicker.

~ Nicola


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Enough about settlements and such.

I sent her a "Happy Mother's Day" email yesterday. I told her she was an excellent mother to our children. I said I hoped her mom was well. I said I would look again at the "paperwork". I wished her a good week.

Why? Because it was the right thing to do for me.

I had an excellent weekend. You should have seen my apartment: no food, clothes piled high, and dust everywhere. Not now!!

I feel so good today I can spit in Satan's eye. Hope this mood lasts a little longer this time.

Strength and Honor.


Jeff

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Jeff223 #1055209 05/15/07 11:52 PM
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No responses here? you got leprosy too?

Nice job. Feel good being on the high road? Youdaman.


Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.
Jeff223 #1055374 05/16/07 02:00 AM
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Jeff,

The great mood you're in can last longer if you want it bad enough. It is up to you to make it happen. See yourself being happy and others will see it too.

I like the fact that you did acknowledge Mother's Day, afterall she is the mother of your children regardless of your sitch. Women like to be complimented. She will remember all the good things you do for her even if she won't acknowledge it.

As for the amount of time you have the kids, I always believe that it is not how much time you spend with them but how you spend it. I know people who have their kids for more time than you do but the kids spend more time in front of the TV than with the parent. Make the moments count when they are around.

Hugs,
ISLH


Me: 49 - S22 & S26
H: 41 - No kids
M: 10/00
Bomb New Year's Day 2006
H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07
D final 07/07
Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
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Jeff...just stopping in for a little hello. I admire that you had the strength to push thru and do the Mother's Day thing. I went dark on that day..mostly because she told me that she wanted it dark.

I get sullen reading the last few posts...about custody. In my last meeting, my atty. told me to stay in the house....that I should be custodian and that I should also fight for custody. Although I believe his feelings and that he supports me, I really can't think of the State of NY awarding me custody. I've been told that a mom has to be a down and out drug dealer, busted, or something similar. Think MLC, an affair and talking to dead people and a psychic will hold up?

I hope that last line keeps you smiling and perpetuates your PMA. :-)

Strength and honor.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
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I hope you're still feeling good, Jeff. You did the right thing with Mother's Day if it felt right to you.

You are a good guy, through and through.

~ Nicola


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I hope you are enjoying this gorgeous weather we are having in the Southland. It's nearly perfect.

Bring the kids over for a Braves game!

besos,
BA

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Yes it has been beautiful weather down in Dixie. Cooler than normal and clear blue skies.

I had a very good week but the weekend was difficult for me. I had to see stbx at the ballgame Saturday and at church today.

I am doing so much better when I do not have to see her. When I see her and especially when she tries to be nice, I feel like vomitting. My anger and hate return big time. Just leave me alone.

I said little at the game and I sat apart from her. She wanted to talk - I did not. I am through with her and until forgiveness kicks back in (it was there last year but no more), I choose not to associate with a person who is intentionally hurting me and my kids.

Same at church. I had quit the church since it was too painful seeing her and her praying to God for the blessings in her life. How it is okay for her to divorce. Turns my stomach. But I needed to take S9 there today (my weekend with the kids) so I went. stbx sat next to us. What a farce - all together (D6 was with me too) like all the other families.

One interesting thing is that she gained weight. She had really slimmed down when she dropped the bomb but now she has gained it back and more (I had not seen her in a month). I read where ISLH's H gained weight and she took it as a positive sign that his life was in the toilet and that he may be inching home. I took my stbx weight gain the same way: her new rosy life is apparently not so rosy after all. And I smiled, shame on me.

She is not inching back. Even if she were, I have no desire to take her back any longer.

MMO left this on nicola's thread. It applies here.

Originally Posted By: MotherMovingOn
It didn't take much to remind me what a selfish, self serving man he is. he will not change in those deep ways and therefor our dynamic will never change. I know that if we were to reconcille all the things that made me unhappy before would still be there only now it would be worse because of the pain he has left in his wake and my new found resolution not to live with someone again who thinks of nothing but his own happiness. There's just no way for it ever to work between he and I again--for me this practical look helps me move on.


Jeff

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Jeff223 #1062011 05/21/07 03:23 PM
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Sounds familiar. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Jeff223 #1062081 05/21/07 04:08 PM
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Jeff...Seems like your W is trying hard to be nice now that you have become distant. It's funny how the tables have turned. I remember when you were the one trying to be nice to her.
Quote:
Even if she were, I have no desire to take her back any longer.
You are hurt and it is natural to feel this way right now. You have now put up walls around you and closed your heart for fear of getting hurt again so you have buried those feelings you once had but I know they are still there. That is okay. Do what feels right for you right now. As in many cases, the LBS eventually becomes the WAS. I've seen this so many times and wonder how many M could be saved if we all didn't let pride get in the way.

Saying that you have no desire to take her back ANY LONGER means you can predict how you will feel in the future. Do not let resentment and anger set in for too long as it will only affect the way YOU feel and may hurt other R you will have.

Quote:
I choose not to associate with a person who is intentionally hurting me and my kids.
I do not believe she intentionally wants to hurt you and the kids that is why she wants it to appear as though everything is great. Yes, she wants her cake and eat it too. She wants her freedom and yet wants a sense of family when it suits her. Yes, she is getting everything she wants right now and she is comfortable because she knows you are still waiting for her. Would she still feel the same if there was a FF sitting with you watching your son's game?

You are the better person by not causing conflict as it will only hurt the kids if you were not treating their mother with respect.

You are doing well and only time will tell what the future holds. Let God unfold his plan.

Hugs,
ISLH


Me: 49 - S22 & S26
H: 41 - No kids
M: 10/00
Bomb New Year's Day 2006
H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07
D final 07/07
Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
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