Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 177
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 177
Quote:

Loving and giving should be a joy and I cannot see how giving to someone who exhibits behaviors counter to your integrity and to the detriment of a relationship could be joyful.




Excellent point. However, loving someone doesn't require giving up your integrety, let alone your soul. Christians have an example of how this can be done. Jesus was nobody's fool. He set healthy boundaries. He told the Pharasis just what he thought of them - and he did it with love. Peace was a goal, but it was secondary to integrety, truth and love.

As I said, it's the hardest thing I've ever attempted, but nothing else is/was working.

Tom

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 775
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 775
MM wrote:
I am mad as hell at myself for behaving like such a masochist in my relationship.
______________________________________

Ditto! For 22 years I've had an inner knowing to do what PM says (differentiate with a 2 choice dilemma) about our sex life, but never did. I've always thought I was angry because my W didn't confront her intimacy/sex issues. After reading PM (up to chap 12) and examining myself, I now see that I've really been mad at myself for violating my own integrity in this area.

Mike - refusing to live this way any longer

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,390
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,390
Wait till you see where it goes after Chapter 12... it's wild!


TimV2.0

Me: 53
Her: 56
D26 (at home)
S23 (at home)
S18 (at home)

Formerly Tim47...
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,116
S
sat567 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,116
Thanks again to everyone who chimed in. I'm about ready to head home for the weekend, and I don't get as much time to get online when W is around. I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm on vacation and can't get online. Maybe we need an SSM hotline of "mentors" to call when we need immediate advice.

Hairdog - still working on being Schnarch-a-licious.

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,385
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,385
It's so clear to me now that by bending over backwards to be a better wife than my mother was and have a better marriage than my parents did, I've done myself and the relationship damage by being a total wimp! I've also set a bad example for my children. My son(15) thinks he deserves all sorts of personal service (for example he thinks I should fetch him a pop from the fridge anytime he's thirsty) because I'm always trying to do things for my H in order to reduce his stress in the hope that I might get some action.


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 775
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 775
HD wrote:
Maybe we need an SSM hotline of "mentors" to call when we need immediate advice.
____________________________________

I think I know which ones I'd call...and none of them are the guys.

Mike - pretty sure he'd be banned from the hotline for turning it into phone sex

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,069
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,069
Quote:


Hairdog - still working on being Schnarch-a-licious.





Can somebody assemble more variations and references to Schnarch's name? This is getting hilarious. I would like to send it to him.

Schnarched
Schnarching
Schnarchly
Schnarcastic
Schnarch-a-licious
pre-Schnarchian
great white Schnarch
Schnarch, Inc.
Schnarch the herald, HDs sing, glory to the king of schwing!


Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time -Steven Wright
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,385
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,385
How 'bout "We had a Schnarchin' good time last night!".


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,390
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,390
Dave, what HAVE you been smokin'? Take it easy... you don't wanna hurt yourself. You seem like you've gone through a glass Schnarchly...



TimV2.0

Me: 53
Her: 56
D26 (at home)
S23 (at home)
S18 (at home)

Formerly Tim47...
#290244 05/17/04 02:55 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 121
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 121
I come back to a wild thread. Self-soothing, sexual positions and setting a bad example. Self-soothing for me takes on two forms. One form is about liking myself as my self. I encourage my self to keep on trying. The other form is masterbating. I rather do that than cheat on spouse. Sexual positions, that is right it is called a reverse cowgirl. A lot of fun. Here is a challege for you. Using your hands and arms for support either outside his legs or inside, slide down until just the head is in and slowly turn, just holding that position. Alternate, after you slide all the way down, turn and come up, then turn again and take the world tour.

By the way, Our kids do pick up our ways. If wife is frigid she can pass it on. Fortunely my Mom was so unhappy in her frigid state I decided I was gonna make sure my H was well f**ked. What I didn't count on was running into a frigid, mean-spirited man. Nor was I prepared to deal with someone using the withholding of sex as a behavior control switch. All three of my children are HD. S32, D32, and D33 all have their hands full dealing with being HD. I got 20 "offical" grandkids.

And I am not gonna hit myself anywhere when I think of sex, I will just use that energy elsewhere.

Page 6 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard