You are the MAN!!! Your W is so fortunate to have YOU!! You deserve every blessing that God has given you. I am very proud of you for keeping your goal in mind with all the "crap" you have gone through.
Do you mind checking out my thread again? You have given me such wise advice beforea and I want to make sure I am heading in the right direction.
It sounds like things are going very well for you. Nice to have you back. My W finally started some R talk last weekend. If you get a chance, please let me know what you think. Your insight is invaluable.
Reuben, wow! This is great! You are a success story! I can't tell you how much encouragement it gives me to read stories like yours and see things go from bad to better to great. Thank you.
Quote:
- She has said to me that she "loves me more than life itself", and she "never wants to lose me"
I think if my wife said this to me right now I would faint. You have given me so much hope, and I wish you all the best.
I am not sure I am ready to call this a "success story", but at many times I feel its coming close. I actually think my W feels it is. I have overheard her tell a friend and a family member that "our marriage is better than it every has been".
My W also had IC yesterday and see feels that she doesn't need to go in for a while since "things are going great". In some ways this makes me nervous because I still have that fear that things will fall apart.
I guess its a good thing to have that fear, because it will keep me focused on my R and M. At lest it will keep me on my toes!
I am really waiting for us to complete the retrouvialle weekend with the 8 follow up meetings (starts next weekend). We both questioned last night if it was needed since things are going so well. I told her I kinda felt that to, but figured that whats a weekend and a few evenings if it helps our M. She agreed, and I said we get to go out to eat every weekend during the meetings so what the heck.
I personally hope it will help us deal with all the little things that we struggle with. We are still doing MC, but are cutting back after the weekend.
MC has been good as well. MC had us fill out a Relationship Report Card. We discussed some of it last session. It was really amazing to me that my W graded our relationship better on most things than I did. I think she has jumped back quicker than I have. We talked about where we were differing on answers and gave us a lot to discuss. Next time we'll talk about what he finds on the answer's we graded ourselves on and our spouses. That should be interesting. It does give me the change to share my struggles with the R, where during the DBing I keep my needs on the back burner.
This level we have gotten to is great, and I feel it growing every day we get to spend time together. She is very affectionate with me now, and we both feel that spark we had when we were dating, during our engagement, and the beginning of our M. We are both looking forward to our R getting closer each day and it lasting forever.
I must say even though I went through this hell, the new marriage we have formed is better and I think finally able to take the long road of life's ups and downs. Don't get me wrong, I would have rather not gone through this and don't want to ever again, but it have deepened our R more so than I ever imagined.
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
Reuben, I hope some day soon Ill be able to come here and write such good things about my R. I wish you all the best and I look forward to hearing all the positive steps along the way for you. Im very happy for you!!
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Great news for you. If you and W want to work on M--and this sounds like where you are, Retrouvaille will be very helpful in opening up new channels of communication and greater introspection between the two of you. It can only help. Enjoy.
