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Good morning everyone~
Positives:
1. H brought me a treat this morning.
2. Said I looked good when he saw me.
3. H is participating in some flylady stuff with me. A small something, but shows he is being thoughtful of something I am trying to be successful with.

Thinking of you and saying prayers as always.


Mockers2 "Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche
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Oh Mockers! I havent read your sitch in a while- but wow! Alot of progress in your sitch!! YOu should be very proud of yourself and your positive changes! I am vowing to catch up on your sitch- I feel like I am reading about myself at times!! We have so much in common. I have the same obsessing issues and slowly getting myself better. My H moved back in Nov without much fanfare. Just started staying.My H reacts just like yours. If I am upset or have a different opinion H thinks that this is a BIG problem- this has gotten better and you will too after some time passes more. I had a "closure" discussion with my H on what happened in the A andOP. This helped me tremendously as I realized she got dumped so he could be with me. And... all the imagery of this "wonderful" OP was completely exaggerated. This was just last week and helped tons. I think when he is ready to put it in better perspective- then you can clear the air a bit too. Both of you are jsut adjusting and trying not to fall into old patterns - Congrats!!! It all sounds so good! I would love to compare notes more- back to reading!
Shay


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Sounds like things are going well! H is saying he sees a difference in things around here since flylady! Slowly getting there, just need a few more hours in the day and I would be fine.

How is D doing? My S4 has been in a dad mood for a bit, really dumping me for him. At lunch out I had is so s4 could sit between the two of us, not good, he wanted H in the middle and himself on the otherside, the little bugger. Trying not to take is personally, but it is all the time. Someday they will understand the importance of their mother, won't they?

Jackie

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Hi everybody ~

Thank you Shay and Jackie for stopping by! I still need all the encouragement and support I can get. I am way behind in my reading here - work has just been so busy for a while now.....

Shay - so glad to hear your H is back. This is terriffic! I need to catch up with you and feel the same - that we have some similarities. I have had a little dip in the pma (very brief episodes) a couple of times in the last week. I have had the thought that my H ended his R with the OP because she cheated on him. I have wondered if she had not done that, would he still have come back to me? Ridiculous thought, b/c he is home now, but it has popped up a few times. Not sure I'm ready for a talk about the A - still too raw if I really let myself think about it for any length of time. I think in time, though, that that would probably be helpful for us both. Maybe my ideas of the OP are inaccurate too. I'm looking forward to catching up with you!

Jackie - Sorry I haven't posted much. Please know I am thinking of you and continue to say prayers. I'm sorry about your little guy's behavior. It can really hurt. It seems to be evening out some here, but there are times when it still gets to me. I have talked about this to several people at work, and a pediatrician I trust and they have all said that this behavior "shows she is very secure in her attachment to you. She feels safe with you." This didn't help me immediately, and as I said I still have those days when it really hurts my feelings, but when I start feeling that way, I repeat over and over to myself that they know I love them and feel secure with me - secure enough to act up more with me at times. Also, I think, even as little as they are (I know yours are a little older than mine) that they pick up on who's been there all along and who left or wasn't there.

Glad to hear your flying is going well. I'm still barely even fluttering, but I won't give up! It's so good your H is noticing! That is wonderful!

I still haven't managed to get my hands on a copy of Body for Life. I have been trying to cut back on/cut out the junk and eat what I see the others eating on the just for fun thread. Babysteps here too are better than nothing though.

Positives:
1. H has been refering to me as his friend again.
2. H said he missed me when work had him away for several days.
3. I did a 180 (details not important) and H really noticed and was pleased.
4. I was very tempted to snoop recently and I stayed strong and didn't snoop.

Take care, everyone. Know I am thinking of you and saying prayers. Thank you all for your encouragement and support.



Mockers2 "Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche
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Quote:

3. I did a 180 (details not important) and H really noticed and was pleased




Details are VERY important to those of us who are following your lead.


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Hi MarcDinFog ~ Tahnks for stopping by. Sorry, guess I should've worded this more clearly - this most recent 180 is too personal to write about. There are quite a few others I have tried, though - all pretty simple and most of them come from ideas I've seen here or in DR:
1. ordering something different for dinner
2. wearing something different - a different style or a color I don't usually wear
3. Different perfume
4. be out when usually I'd be home (early on - a little while after the bomb)
5. send funny emails
6. hire a sitter and go out with friends instead of staying home when H couldn't keep the children


Things like that have really gotten his attention consistently. If I think of others, I'll post them. Where is your thread?

Positives:
1. H helped me with a project for the children last night.
2. We just keep laughing!
3. H continues to be supportive of me and the projects I'm working on - both at home and at work.

Hope you are all doing well. Thank you for your encouragement.


Mockers2 "Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche
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Positives:
1. H went out of town overnight on business - he called to say he missed me and the children about four times - the first time was about one hour after he left.
2. H mentioned going to church (in the context that I would like to go - meaning me, but he mentioned it, none the less). I just said that yes I'd like to go.
3. We may be moving b/c of H's work this summer - I have been viewing this possibility as an adventure, instead of being completely overwhelmed with fear, which, to quote Marlin, "is a big deal, for me." Still have a long way to go in the fear department, but this is a start.

Hope you all are doing well today. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the support and encouragement.


Mockers2 "Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche
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Now for a technical question-

I was trying to look back at some of my old threads, and they're all gone. I never linked this thread to my previous thread, so maybe I can't find them anymore???? Is there a way to retrieve them after they've been purged from the bb? Thanks ~


Mockers2 "Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche
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Click on your name and then view all posts... you should be able to find them that way.


Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
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Your posts are all gone! What's up with that?


Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
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