Finally meet a guy organically. I find out his fatal flaw……
He’s still married. Yup, I kid you not. “Going through a divorce” wants to tell me the whole story. I don’t want to hear it. They still live together.
Pretty much dating at 42 is dating a whole bunch of men barely divorced, newly divorced, going through a divorce… bit to find someone a year out from divorce? Nearly impossible. I’m in such a vastly different place from men my age. Early 40’s is a very common time for a divorce.
It’s truly disheartening . I wish I would have met someone when I was in my early 30’s. But the market for divorced single moms with toddlers wasn’t so hot either.
What a trip it has been. In the end…. Me my daughter and my dog. All I can trust.
To answer your question BL: I meet all unavailable men because, well, they are all unavailable !
Last edited by job; 11/30/2212:54 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Oh, and a coworker who works my other job asked if I could cover her New Year’s Day holiday. Of course I said yes. I can’t pass up time and a half for a stupid day k don’t consider a holiday. So now it’s Christmas even, Christmas, and New Years. And I’m supposed to work Memorial Day too😂. Good news is it’s a good amount of extra money and I really think I’m going to take that vacation
At least you have a place to vent things off. And with a good heart too. Positive attitude is so important in these times. And, like I said, you have allot of positive things going on.. Daughter, work... Making money on those holidays are nice. Makes ya feel good.. I have noticed on the apps, many ladies are very well versed in stating, if you aint over her, swipe left, lol. I am 55, so the women I may/have met up with are kind over the drama.. Which is good. Some of them have kids that just left the house... Full stories I am sure will happen over time, and there will be a common theme at least with people I am meeting.. #1 cause of divorce is marriage, just a light hearted joke.
Finally meet a guy organically. I find out his fatal flaw……
He’s still married. Yup, I kid you not. “Going through a divorce” wants to tell me the whole story. I don’t want to hear it. They still live together.
Still married and still living together?!? Yikes! Who is this, Jet's Game / Law Enforcement guy?
Originally Posted by Ginger1
To answer your question BL: I meet all unavailable men because, well, they are all unavailable !
Well I know for a fact that's not true! LOL
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Oh, and a coworker who works my other job asked if I could cover her New Year’s Day holiday. Of course I said yes. I can’t pass up time and a half for a stupid day k don’t consider a holiday. So now it’s Christmas even, Christmas, and New Years. And I’m supposed to work Memorial Day too😂. Good news is it’s a good amount of extra money and I really think I’m going to take that vacation
Come on! You should've taken a holiday off and gone to that party! What did kml tell you?
Originally Posted by kml
First of all, you do see how you became "needless and wantless" around the holiday issue, right? Don't do that next year. I understand how it is in healthcare, but just work either Xmas Eve or Xmas, not both, okay?
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
I'd bet that the reason it's hard to find an available man who wants an LTR is because those guys spend very little time "on the market" before they're snapped up by someone. The unavailable men who don't want an LTR spend more time "on the market" because they want to date and stay on the market, so women go on more dates with those type of men.
I'd bet that the reason it's hard to find an available man who wants an LTR is because those guys spend very little time "on the market" before they're snapped up by someone. The unavailable men who don't want an LTR spend more time "on the market" because they want to date and stay on the market, so women go on more dates with those type of men.
I would tend to agree with this. I think that for most people that have split, especially men, that they look quickly to fill that hole in their lives.
That's one of the reasons I promised my kids that I would make no significant decisions for at least a year. However there are a number of men I know of just in my "friend of a friend" circle who hooked up with a new partner pretty much before the imprint of their ex's head was off the pillow.
Combine that as well with my own experience that the longer I spend time by myself, the more I like it.
So you've got the guys who
Get snapped up right away
Were divorced for the fact that they are a lousy partner
The players who are just in it for the poontang
The guys who are living their lives and not really looking
The last category you'll pretty much only find in the wild and not online I would expect. I know that I got rid of my OLD profiles some time ago. Which leaves most of the OLD pool being in the second and third categories.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
recently read an interview with paulina porizkova in VF magazine on dating ... very funny, very interesting ... she likens dating now in late 50s to dating in a dirty little puddle rather than a dating pool, with the same 5 guys being passed around all her friends group. Funny, yet gross and sad.
If that's the way it is, I'm ok being alone ...
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I'd bet that the reason it's hard to find an available man who wants an LTR is because those guys spend very little time "on the market" before they're snapped up by someone.
Interesting observation. I’ve been claiming a variation of this pretty much forever and was often met by disagreement. However this is not limited to only guys, it includes women as well. My claim has long been the good ones are already taken. Good ones don’t walk away. They don’t have affairs. They don’t do all the things that put many of us here. I’ve often reported how I meet a seeming great woman only to find she’s married or in a LTR.
Of course that doesn’t mean those not taken are broken or bad. I don’t consider myself to be. But the pool of quality, available people in our 20s is far less in our 40s or 50s. That’s because the best of the pool in our 20s are still married in their 40s/50s. Add in the chance of D for second and for sure third Ms are much higher than the already crappy 50% for first Ms. And it’s not a pretty picture.
There are still good ones out there. They are just much harder to find and yes sone of them have zero interest or are too scared to take a chance on dating or an R again so they rarely if ever date. I find that constantly in my age range and could easily rattle off a dozen names of attractive, accomplished, quality woman who rarely or never date.
I wish I had better news.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
