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Rockon #2940110 12/03/22 08:46 AM
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Feeling the anger and indignation percolating at what W has done more now that I am away and spending time with D and granddaughter. Just that it’s really not ok and very wrong. Want to listen to this and proceed wisely.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2940118 12/03/22 02:50 PM
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Good Morning Rock

Perfectly normal man.

Do not act upon this welling up of anger and hurt and resentment. Make no decisions based upon it. Process it, and let it go.

You know feelings are fleeting. And I know you will act and proceed with logic and wisdom.

Go get an ice cream with daughter and grand daughter. Something smothered in chocolate! Lol.

And sprinkles. And cherries. Oh and some cookies. And maybe peanuts. And whip cream. Oh my goodness, I should not type while hungry. Now I want an ice cream sundae. Hmmm, for breakfast?!?

Have a great day Rock!

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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Rockon #2940119 12/03/22 02:57 PM
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I will.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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Rockon #2940126 12/03/22 06:12 PM
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Rockon,

What DnJ said. The anger is going to be there and come in waves too. It's not a week of it and done. It's going to be there for some extent for quite awhile. Make sure you have a good way to process through it.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Rockon #2940129 12/03/22 07:06 PM
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Thanks BL - will do


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2940139 12/03/22 09:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockon
Feeling the anger and indignation percolating
Find a SAFE way to release it. Otherwise it will come out at the wrong time. Stuffing it down long term is bad. Road Rage is a good example stuffed emotions coming out at the wrong target. We men have been conditioned to stuff it down our whole lives. One important thing is to not release it when interacting with W.

I let a lot out while I am driving and listening to music. Five Finger death punch "the bleeding" was my divorce song.

I plan on doing a "rage room". You pay to break things.

Some here talk about the gym.

Anger is pure energy that you can channel into something productive as well.

Last edited by DnJ; 12/03/22 11:37 PM. Reason: Corrected wording for R2C.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Rockon #2940145 12/03/22 09:51 PM
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R2C:

“One important thing is to release it when interacting with W.” do you mean *not* release it when interacting with W?

I expressed anger to her (calmly) at BD to her. But not sure how to interact now with her regarding anger. My thought is to deal with it in healthy ways at other times and spaces so it’s not volatile when I have to interact with her.

And I would think that potentially down the road and perhaps with professional help might be the way to process it with her eventually (or not).


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2940149 12/03/22 10:39 PM
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Rockon,
Originally Posted by Rockon
I expressed anger to her (calmly) at BD to her.
This is ok, but...

Originally Posted by Rockon
But not sure how to interact now with her regarding anger.
You should mostly be processing it in your own way and not showing emotion to W.

Originally Posted by Rockon
My thought is to deal with it in healthy ways at other times and spaces so it’s not volatile when I have to interact with her.
Right! Hit a punching bag, lift some weights, go on a run...etc.

Originally Posted by Rockon
And I would think that potentially down the road and perhaps with professional help might be the way to process it with her eventually (or not).
You should get professional help (IC) now. Not with her, by yourself. Whether you R or D you're going to have to deal with the associated anger in a healthy manner. IC can help you with that.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Rockon #2940151 12/03/22 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockon
R2C:"One important thing is to release it when interacting with W.” do you mean *not* release it when interacting with W?
YES! My mistake.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Rockon #2940154 12/04/22 12:45 AM
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R2C, I modified your post to state what you intended write. By the way, you are giving top shelf advice. A pleasure to read. Lots of wisdom and help for posters. Well done.

Sharp eye Rock. Glad you pointed that out.

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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