Google “John Kabat Zinn Body Scan” and use a few times a day whenever triggered.
Use that as a platform initially, and then do more reading into mindfulness training.
It’s essentially being able to step out of your own head and look inside from the first person. It can be a window into developing awareness of your bad thought patterns, cycles and triggers.
Google “stop sign imagery”. Can be a super useful technique for the short term.
And physical exercise. The answer to “I feel triggered, hurt, upset, overwhelmed” - should always be “I’m going for a 30 min run.”
It breaks the rumination, overthinking, stress cycle.
Recognize the feelings Allow them to exist Investigate how it makes you feel Nurture - be kind to yourself
If the triggers are causing more panic related symptoms, then I found that grounding exercises worked well for me. Focus on part of your body and then follow with your mind how it is connected to other parts. Feel the reality that you are you and that you are here.
Hope that helps.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
On the subject of triggers. I think this falls right into DBing. It is okay to be triggered. It isn't okay to let the triggering dictate your actions. This is where the detachment of action and word from our underlying feelings comes from. Feel the feels. Understand that what was done or said triggered negative emotions. But do not outwardly show it or let it determine your course of action.
In general, I would introduce the relative to the concept of emotional detachment. As R2C says, it is okay to go somewhere privately and yell, cry, scream, sob etc. But in the moment, controlling all of that is a key. Especially if someone is trying to purposely trigger us.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
SO, after a few years here, I finally found another book, besides DB that hit the nail on the head.. No More Mr Nice Guy, by Dr Glover. This book, which I am half way through as I write, is incredible. It hits home hard. It describes me to a "T". I cant go into details just yet, but if you can find it in yourself to get this book, you may find out why you are Mr Nice guy. Really not what you think it is. I am not a writer, and I will need to read this 2 to 3 times, to truly grasp it. But so far, it is an awakening for me. It goes into great deal how your relationship with Mom n Dad , society, and world events have shaped men in the last century.. Darn good book..
SO, after a few years here, I finally found another book, besides DB that hit the nail on the head.. No More Mr Nice Guy, by Dr Glover. This book, which I am half way through as I write, is incredible. It hits home hard. It describes me to a "T". I cant go into details just yet, but if you can find it in yourself to get this book, you may find out why you are Mr Nice guy. Really not what you think it is. I am not a writer, and I will need to read this 2 to 3 times, to truly grasp it. But so far, it is an awakening for me. It goes into great deal how your relationship with Mom n Dad , society, and world events have shaped men in the last century.. Darn good book..
A lot of us make that book recommendation to LBHs. It is a great book. Most of us here suffered from NGS to some level or another. Recognizing that is a key. Yes the book is a great one and I am thankful to the mods for letting us make the recommendation even though it isn't a MWD book.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
How about putting this book in the recommended reading material that is at the top of the Newcomers' forum? It is stickied at the top. Attempts have been made to consolidate all of the recommended reading material there for one stop selections.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Very few books hit the nail on the head. Divorce busting is simply one book that should be required reading prior to marriage, or any serious relationship.. Dr Glovers book is fantastic, and I put it in the newcomers recommended reads section.
