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Andrew, any specific threads on dating? You have allot of threads..


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So Mach after a couple dates you are seeing that and ready to generalize that most women that are single need a man to help them forward? Quite frankly I see the opposite and have dated women who are very independent. Interesting how we see thing’s completely different.

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Originally Posted by Mach40
Andrew, any specific threads on dating? You have allot of threads..
LOL - yes I do. To summarize and save you some reading, I dated a couple of women who were very much less favoured economically than me. Things moved very fast in both cases, and all the people around me (and eventually me) realized that I was being taken advantage of.

In the first case, the woman called it off due in part to the fact that my house was too big and had too many stairs and I refused to sell it and buy a lake-front property. She also had a lot of unresolved issues including a ex-husband that she eventually went back to. I suspect she was having her own version of a MLC and I was rock bottom crazy He'd had multiple affairs before they split and I was assured that it was completely over. They'd been apart for multiple years but kept in touch.

In the second case I had to call it off when the woman turned out to be hoarder who expected me to take care of everything for her and her extended family. One episode that stands out was when I ended up in the hospital because of angina pains (turned out it was stress related) and she emptied the bank account buying stuff at Costco while she waited for me to get out of surgery. Oh and my house was far far too small because she couldn't have a separate office and craft room for herself and there wasn't enough room for her stuff. After we split she moved into her parent's small bungalow which she inherited just before I called it quits.

Now, I'm not saying that any disparity in economic capability is an immediate no-go. But rather the lack of reciprocity. I was married for 26 years to a woman who worked as a retail clerk. There was never a question of who contributed more to the family. We each did our part.

Going forward I can't see myself again being in a situation where finances would be combined. I'm 58 and don't want to risk my future again. And as time goes on and I spend more and more time living alone I find that I appreciate it. I used to think that I could get along with anyone and that turned out to be wrong. My friend "C" who I've been seeing a bit of lately has assured me that in her opinion that I must be hard to live with.


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D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
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Originally Posted by LH19
So Mach after a couple dates you are seeing that and ready to generalize that most women that are single need a man to help them forward? Quite frankly I see the opposite and have dated women who are very independent. Interesting how we see thing’s completely different.
Stop reading between the lines. Lifes experience tells me allot about women too.
I have been on dating forums for a while, and when you read hundreds, and hundreds of them you start to see trends.. Trend analysis is a neat thing I did for many years in the service, on people and foreign military.
There are independent women, no doubt, and society has embraced that.
But when you see, empty nest, kids in college, recently divorced it sends a message as to what is happening in the marriage world. Then, if you read them further, many are looking for a person to help out.. Don't get all feminist on me and say women are all independent. Not all are. And most that go on dating sites, I would say are in need of a partner to support their life.
I am a feminist, and by definition I agree with it. But not all have been able to achieve true independence.. Neither have all men..
I may have generalized, its because its what I see. My opinion.


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Originally Posted by AndrewP
Originally Posted by Mach40
Andrew, any specific threads on dating? You have allot of threads..
LOL - yes I do. To summarize and save you some reading, I dated a couple of women who were very much less favoured economically than me. Things moved very fast in both cases, and all the people around me (and eventually me) realized that I was being taken advantage of.

In the first case, the woman called it off due in part to the fact that my house was too big and had too many stairs and I refused to sell it and buy a lake-front property. She also had a lot of unresolved issues including a ex-husband that she eventually went back to. I suspect she was having her own version of a MLC and I was rock bottom crazy He'd had multiple affairs before they split and I was assured that it was completely over. They'd been apart for multiple years but kept in touch.

In the second case I had to call it off when the woman turned out to be hoarder who expected me to take care of everything for her and her extended family. One episode that stands out was when I ended up in the hospital because of angina pains (turned out it was stress related) and she emptied the bank account buying stuff at Costco while she waited for me to get out of surgery. Oh and my house was far far too small because she couldn't have a separate office and craft room for herself and there wasn't enough room for her stuff. After we split she moved into her parent's small bungalow which she inherited just before I called it quits.

Now, I'm not saying that any disparity in economic capability is an immediate no-go. But rather the lack of reciprocity. I was married for 26 years to a woman who worked as a retail clerk. There was never a question of who contributed more to the family. We each did our part.

Going forward I can't see myself again being in a situation where finances would be combined. I'm 58 and don't want to risk my future again. And as time goes on and I spend more and more time living alone I find that I appreciate it. I used to think that I could get along with anyone and that turned out to be wrong. My friend "C" who I've been seeing a bit of lately has assured me that in her opinion that I must be hard to live with.
I am starting to see more and more writings, and videos of people saying being single is the best thing that ever happened.
And, I am 55, I like the freedoms too.. Yes, its a little boring at times. But now, as I am seeing the light, I am going to enjoy dating, without commitment. She is going to have to want to move a mountain to get to me..
I have a co worker that just took on a girlfriend, right after divorce. She is sucking him dry, and everyone is telling him to stop.. Its disturbing what she is doing to him financially..


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What I find more disturbing than the woman sucking your friend financially dry is the fact that a grown man in his 50’s is allowing that. Especially after a divorce! Can he not be without a woman? He needs to get to the bottom of his issues. What she is doing is sh!tty for sure, but why is he allowing it ?

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Well it’s not reading between the lines when you actually come out and say it. I would stay away from women who put in their profiles that they are looking for a man to take care of them. I think I mentioned this to you before, you don’t want a woman who will move a mountain for you. You want a woman who reciprocates.

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
What I find more disturbing than the woman sucking your friend financially dry is the fact that a grown man in his 50’s is allowing that. Especially after a divorce! Can he not be without a woman? He needs to get to the bottom of his issues. What she is doing is sh!tty for sure, but why is he allowing it ?
His older brother, who works with us/him has been giver her an earful as well as his brother..
I would say he has severe White Knight Syndrome... Neglect would be my first reasoning. Dad, unknown, Mom had several husbands. He has 4 brothers from different fathers. Mom died a couple years ago, and neither even bothered to go to the funeral. Even with bereavement pay, they asked to use it later in the year.


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Maybe it is my raising, but I learned at a very young age how to entertain myself so that I was NEVER bored. I was raised on a farm and if one of my parents heard you say you were bored, they could find a farm chore (usually a hard one like building fence) and put you to work. I say this today that I understand what you mean that being alone can be boring at times. I urge you, though, to try and change that mind set and see it as an opportunity so that you don’t get sucked into feeling like you HAVE to date to combat boredom. You do seem to have some good GAL: church, house remodeling, spending time with family. Keep going with those and maybe even explore other things that might bring you joy.


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I get bored easily due to lifestyle/Work. I was used to being under the ocean on a boat for, not always obviously, for 24 years. Travel, out to sea, shore duty working abroad. Always was busy.
New career, same thing, always traveling, working 60 hr work weeks.
Well, times are allot slower, and with no family in the house on top of it, lately its been super boring.
So, I have been doing what I can to keep busy.
Just to give you an idea. I went to AK, then SC, back to TX, then back to SC in a 3 month period..
Starting in January, its CA, Italy, then AK encompassing 6 months time.


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