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bttrfly #2937534 09/13/22 09:12 PM
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
You two at it again? When are y’all gonna get a room and work this thang out you got goin on ???

Never. I don’t do egotistical

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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Or perhaps I just haven't been that into the women I have been dating.
Ding Ding Ding we have a winner.
Originally Posted by OnlyBent
The question is what do I want with the Melb girl. I'd love to try LDR to see if its a thing with her or not. Is this a 'wrong' move, who knows?
Only you know the answer to that Bent.
Originally Posted by OnlyBent
If this current thing doesn't work out, it doesn't preclude me getting in touch again when I'm next in Melbourne.
Exactly than hangout, have fun and hook up.
Originally Posted by OnlyBent
LH don't do me like that, I'm 40 for a few more months still. And don't worry the many options have been explored, I definitely have put the SSM behind me.
Sorry buddy. But yeah a SSM is complete BS.
Originally Posted by Ginger
Hm LH. He actually isn’t wired all that differently. It is hard to focus on someone you have interest in with someone else in the background, especially if you have some real feelings for the other person and you can’t fundamentally be together.
Well if you read what I actually wrote instead of constantly personally attacking me you would see that I said that when/if he develops feelings for the new girl he could sunset Melbourne. 4 dates is a little too early for me for feelings but we have seen people here in relationships after 2 dates so what do I know.

Bent you have options and when you have options you don't have to settle for anything.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
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I’m pretty sure I’m the one getting personally attacked. I’m done here .

Life sounds great OB. Keep doing you.

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OB,
Originally Posted by OnlyBent
I was actually down in Adelaide a few weekends back for my annual trip. Adelaide is such a great long weekend destination, three world class winery regions within an hours drive. The Crows were pretty ordinary this year but so were Port Adelaide which should give them some comfort. You can tell them I'm a Sydney fan, we're about to play in a preliminary final this weekend and I can't use my tickets because I'll be flying to the US.

When are you coming to visit here BL?
I'd love to visit Australia at some point. The travel time is a bit daunting though. How do you manage? Hopefully business class for work. I flew direct to/from Johannesburg once and that was a long time to be on a plane!

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Soccer coaching is done for the year now, but it was great. Pretty hard at times wrangling 12 six year olds but pretty fun at the same time.
It is fun, for sure, and there's nothing like developing a bond with your son. Hope you keep it up in future seasons. We had practice tonight and halfway through came an unexpected downpour. The boys actually loved it and were going crazy LOL. Good times.

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Was in Melbourne the week before last and pretty much spent most of the week with the girl down there which was great.
Was the purpose of the trip for the two of you to spend time together, or were you going anyway and decided to meet?

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
We had a pretty great time but her intentions to eventually move to Sydney are unchanged so I told her to let me know if she changes her mind but I don't want to keep doing what we've been doing
Does sounds like some cycling of the same. Too bad she's not closer. My only advice is just make sure if it's not going anywhere not to let it prevent other potential relationships from flourishing.

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
because I met a pretty great girl up here who lives nearby, we're going on date 4 on Friday.
What's this women's deal?

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
The peace between XW and I has been a little disturbed a few weeks back.
I experienced similar this week. ExW was not happy about soccer scheduling and let me have it over email. I've heard horror stories of disgruntled parents complaining to coaches but this has the bonus of being my ExW! She was using capital letters for blaming me son couldn't play and plans changed when she was the one who wanted to take him out of town and miss in the first place. I'm coaching his teams for third year now to stay close to him, but don't get any credit. I responded to the first email with "I understand..." and explaining the situation, but got another email back with cap locks, so I didn't respond; no need to argue. The reason I bring it up is your ExW lashing out on health insurance and flexibility due to no "happy birthday"...even though you took S6 to get her a present! reminds me of the same. I showed my parents to get their take and they sjust said she's always going to blame me for everything and be mad at me.

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Doesn't seem like the behaviour of a happy person, but who knows....or cares.
Yeah...who knows for sure. But it seems like you're making yourself a great life so who cares for sure!


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
BL42 #2938060 10/03/22 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by BL42
The travel time is a bit daunting though. How do you manage? Hopefully business class for work.

Yeah its tough, I've been back a work and still struggling to catch up on sleep, single parenting makes it difficult too but have just had a great long weekend with S6, if not a bit exhausting. Business class for work, not sure I'd go if it wasn't. Gee the Ravens v Dolphins game I went to was a cracker.

Originally Posted by BL42
Was the purpose of the trip for the two of you to spend time together, or were you going anyway and decided to meet?

It was a work trip and we were only supposed to have lunch but ended up spending half the week together. We talked whilst I was in the US, and I'm heading down in two weeks to go to a concert with her and her friends. No expectations, just a good time.

Originally Posted by BL42
What's this women's deal?

Funnily enough, opposite to the Melbourne girl....lives a few streets away and knows what she wants. She's 33 and just a great gal. Seeing her this week, so will see what comes of that as well.

When will we hear more about BL's dating adventures?


Me: 41 W:42
T: 14 M: 11
S: 6

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
When will we hear more about BL's dating adventures?
Nothing much to report. I deleted the OLD apps several months ago, and haven't met anyone new in person yet. There have been a few women DM'ing me on SM when I post videos of my kids who I can tell are interested, but haven't made any moves at this point. Not sure why...probably a combination of little time between work and kids, not super attracted, and perhaps gun-shy about the whole prospect of a relationship at this point.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
BL42 #2938123 10/04/22 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by BL42
Not sure why...probably a combination of little time between

Originally Posted by BL42
work and kids
Really? Don't you have 50/50 custody?
Originally Posted by BL42
not super attracted
Winner winner chicken dinner lol.
Originally Posted by BL42
and perhaps gun-shy about the whole prospect of a relationship at this point.
Let's not put the cart before the horse BL. You need to learn to interact with women

Ask the least unattractive one out. Getting the first one out of the way is big BL.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2938129 10/04/22 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by BL42
work and kids
Really? Don't you have 50/50 custody?
Legally, yes - every other week with off-week dinners. However, in practice I spend much more time with the kids than her based on me coaching S7's sports the last three years (which I purposefully chose to do as a way to stay active in his life, so not complaining) and based on my schedule flexible 4-day work schedule vs. my wife's 5 day 9 to 5 job I see one or both of them after school almost every single weekday during HER weeks, and sometimes on her weekends for games. Not sure people here believe me on that, that or fully grasp it? I spend at least a couple hours with them 12 out of 14 days in a two week period, whereas she sees them pretty much only on her weeks. Again, not complaining - I want to stay as involved/active in my kids' lives as possible considering the D - just explaining.

Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by BL42
not super attracted
Winner winner chicken dinner lol.
Haha, ok...a big factor.

Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by BL42
and perhaps gun-shy about the whole prospect of a relationship at this point.
Let's not put the cart before the horse BL. You need to learn to interact with women

Ask the least unattractive one out. Getting the first one out of the way is big BL.
Honestly? I see them as nice girls probably looking for a relationship and don't want to take advantage of the situation to get over my ex and have casual sex and then ditch them. Maybe it's my own hang ups.

There are 4 prospects. One messages me and flirts a little at school pickup and I coached her son. I thought she was married, but maybe not, but if she is definitely will not go there. The other's is a simliar situation to mine one kid who's spouse cheated but her family knows mine very well and my mom and sister have been mentioning she's back in town and might want to hang out LOL so it's like if it didn't work out is that a hassle? The third works in S7's school and I just see as someone looking for a relationship not a casual thing and don't want to hurt her feelings if it doesn't work out, or cause small town rumors around my son's school. I was joking with a cute friend of hers at a bar the other weekend and she jumped right in and made her presence known LOL. The last one had a couple dates with a buddy of mine but nothing happened and is messaging me.

But I haven't made any moves. Again, probably my own mental game and putting the cart before the horse, I admit, but something's holding me back. Maybe it's because I'm not ready. None of them are ugly and all four are cute enough, but I agree if a drop dead gorgeous woman with none of the hang ups I mentioned was interested I probably would go for it.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
BL42 #2938130 10/04/22 04:02 PM
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Originally Posted by BL42
There are 4 prospects. One messages me and flirts a little at school pickup and I coached her son. I thought she was married, but maybe not, but if she is definitely will not go there.
Should be easy to find out. Could very well be a monkey brancher.
Originally Posted by BL42
The other's is a simliar situation to mine one kid who's spouse cheated but her family knows mine very well and my mom and sister have been mentioning she's back in town and might want to hang out LOL so it's like if it didn't work out is that a hassle?
No! It just didn't work out.
Originally Posted by BL42
The third works in S7's school and I just see as someone looking for a relationship not a casual thing and don't want to hurt her feelings if it doesn't work out, or cause small town rumors around my son's school. I was joking with a cute friend of hers at a bar the other weekend and she jumped right in and made her presence known LOL.
Seriously?
Originally Posted by BL42
The last one had a couple dates with a buddy of mine but nothing happened and is messaging me.
Ask her out!
Originally Posted by BL42
But I haven't made any moves. Again, probably my own mental game and putting the cart before the horse, I admit, but something's holding me back. Maybe it's because I'm not ready.
Bro. You have been divorced for a year and a half. # years since BD. You are ready!
Originally Posted by BL42
None of them are ugly and all four are cute enough, but I agree if a drop dead gorgeous woman with none of the hang ups I mentioned was interested I probably would go for it.
You see here is the problem with this theory. A drop dead gorgeous woman gets hit on 10 times a day. If you are going to make a move your game has to be tight. Do you want to see my Star Wars collection is not going to cut it. You need some experience under your belt.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
Joined: Feb 2015
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You are right to be very very careful of dating your kid’s classmates parents. Especially as a “learning process” with the “least attractive” to “get it out of the way” if these are classmates parents of your kids

It’s very possible you just aren’t ready yet. And that’s ok.

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