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Again, all I said was , if his strong feelings for the long distance girl is getting in the way of developing anything meaningful with those he’s dating now, he should end it. If it’s not affecting it at all, go for it .

Ginger1 #2937521 09/13/22 05:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Originally Posted by LH19
Ok so for all the loneliness and misery on this board you want Bent to end a beautiful thing he has with another adult because right now she doesn't want to move close to him? Makes a lot of sense to me.

Did you miss the part where he is going on a 4th date with a local girl he likes?
No it's a beautiful thing and if DOWN THE ROAD he develops strong feelings for this girl he ends it with the other girl.


M:51 W:46
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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
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Whatever, lh .

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It's called dating.


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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2937525 09/13/22 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
It's called dating.

Thanks Mr, know it all. You get one girlfriend and are now the master and guru.

Whatever . I don’t care. OB just needs to do whatever is right for him. He has no issues getting women and whatever he feels is right for him is what he will do

Ginger1 #2937526 09/13/22 07:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Thanks Mr, know it all. You get one girlfriend and are now the master and guru.
LOL. I have only been promoting the same thing for the last 4 years.
Whatever . I don’t care. OB just needs to do whatever is right for him. He has no issues getting women and whatever he feels is right for him is what he will do[/quote]
I couldn't agree more. He keeps seeing her for a reason so I suspect he will keep doing it until it doesn't work for him anymore.

You don't like it because you can't stand the thought of a guy dating you while he is seeing another girl in a different city he has strong feelings about. That terrifies you so you project it onto Bent.


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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
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^^^^ I really think you have lost it Towards me LH. No . I don’t hate the idea of someone dating someone else while we are just dating. I have done it myself. I don’t know where you come up with this stuff. You think I want instant connection and commitment on the first date and that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

But you can believe what you want about me. OB is not me and OB is not you. He may approach things differently than you. And approach things differently than me. Now he has both perspectives and he can decide what works for him. This has nothing to do with or you.

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You two at it again? When are y’all gonna get a room and work this thang out you got goin on ???


M 20+ T25+
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BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"You know who you were before & during your marriage. Find out who you are now. What are your core values? What do you really want? Then, live it!"
LH19 #2937532 09/13/22 09:02 PM
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I haven't asked her to move to clarify, my intention was to LDR before deciding if it worked before deciding on a move. After being there the week before last, it kinda felt like we had started LDRing by stealth, but like LH said, she has said she won't move so I believe that.

I have dated in between seeing her and I have felt that it holds me back, or perhaps I just haven't been that into the women I have been dating. The current 4th date girl I am into so far, so it felt like the right thing for me to take a clean break from the Melb girl. I'd find it difficult to be fully available whilst still in touch with the other girl, again like I said after last time it feels more relationshippy than it has before.

The question is what do I want with the Melb girl. I'd love to try LDR to see if its a thing with her or not. Is this a 'wrong' move, who knows?

In the meantime I'm happy to date someone who is more available than she is and see what happens. If this current thing doesn't work out, it doesn't preclude me getting in touch again when I'm next in Melbourne.

Originally Posted by LH19
Bent at 41 and coming out of a sexless marriage I would advise you to explore the many options for you out there in the land down under.

LH don't do me like that, I'm 40 for a few more months still. And don't worry the many options have been explored, I definitely have put the SSM behind me.


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Sounds good, OB. I felt like this what you were feeling and thinking.

Hm LH. He actually isn’t wired all that differently. It is hard to focus on someone you have interest in with someone else in the background, especially if you have some real feelings for the other person and you can’t fundamentally be together.

You are a man with your own mind, OB you are doing nothing wrong . You got your action and had your play time and it sounds like you might want something real .

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