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Originally Posted by Drew
Originally Posted by bttrfly
But just listen to Mach because he's far less wordy than I am and basically he said the same thing.

Well I'd hate to think what that would make me!!!

That's like 6 posts for you...^^^

: )

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G - I’m glad you’re enjoying him. Dating shouldn’t be so serious!

I’m still wondering about the answer to my question, though - was it his idea to draw the line at “friends who kiss”, or was that you pre-emptively trying to be the “low maintenance girl”? I just don’t want it to be the second because you deserve more.

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If it helps

I followed all the rules with my first husband and was miserable and he left me and financially screwed me over.

I took pretty big risks and made moves that would never have been advised and I’m currently married to someone I’m very happy and stilll excited to be with.

I think there’s the risk of hurt with anyone and in any situation. Base it on how you are
Being treated and how he makes you feel and don’t worry about rules and time lines.


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I am really just trying to enjoy it for what it is in the moment . I keep hearing in the back of head though “this can only end one way”
But maybe I don’t think about the middle or the end. Just the now.

Years of interference putting my dating life out there setting myself up for failure. This can’t work because of this or that , red flag green flag, yellow flag, whatever. It swims in my head and I have lost trust in myself . If I want a long term R don’t do this or that. Not the right guy. You know how this is going to end and blah blah blah.

It’s killed the joy for me I guess. Killed the fun and now I’m just as clueless as when I started.

So for now. Have a good time and don’t sign an ending to the story.

And KML, yea, I said that. I preemptively tried to make sure it stays where it needs to stay for him, because the “stats” say he needs that and it couldn’t work otherwise. A means of protecting myself I guess. A way of not even thinking of me.

I have decided I’m just going to live in the moment . He can figure his size out and I can figure mine out . For now, just one more date Thursday and he’s gone for 2 weeks.

And as for me? I’m just going to keep on going about my days

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
And KML, yea, I said that. I preemptively tried to make sure it stays where it needs to stay for him, because the “stats” say he needs that and it couldn’t work otherwise.
I don't think its a "stats" thing at all.

You had your rules because you are very wise. Like a one eyed owl in a tree.

You have broken them and now have to justify it.

We have seen this a million times on the board.

I am sure your EXH's current W tried to justify how she would be different. She was wrong....

Only time will tell....if you will meet a similar fate

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Date got cancelled for tomorrow night 😢 . I won’t see him for another 2 weeks because he leaves for vacation ( in the state, DTS as us Jerseyans like to say).

He continues to be communicative. Called me to apologize he couldn’t make it. Stays in touch and is very sweet.

It’s a tough one . As a person. No red flags so far. Completely green. And I’m of overlooking anything in that area. The biggest barrier is getting out of a marriage. If you took that away, he’s seriously great. My biggest problem is trying to tell myself to stop telling myself this is going to fail eventually. I keep writing off my fate. I find myself going to sabotage it before I go get hurt. I stop myself though. I’d be full of regret if I tried to ruin it before I get hurt.

We had a nice weekend at my dad and his wife’s. She had fun with her friend and I got more sun than I have in years. I’m super freakin tan. I got an extra day off today because I agreed to work Sunday . I spent 3 hours on my yard. Grocery shopped, meal prepped, cleaned, and for my birthday kicked At the gym. All in all a solid day.

d has been acting completely normal. She’s enjoying her time At her dads. She’s fine being there. All I can do is stay hyper alert and keep communication open. She’s being a teen cheer coach for the town this year. She starts next Monday. I remember when she was was so little started here and is she’s teaching those kids. It’s crazy. I’m happy she will be busy in subway 2-3 nights a week and then back to games during football season. It goes towards her required volunteer hours.
Recently, the boys and girls club she pretty much grew up at was in the news. Like the The big news stations. 100 kids got dropped off there at night. Had an illegal party and destroyed everything . She says to me “ what kind of parents do theS kids have that they would be raised to think this OK?!?” I mean, we must be doing something right .mostly me. Hahahaha!

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What was the reason he gave to cancel the date?

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Originally Posted by LH19
What was the reason he gave to cancel the date?

He is getting new flooring in his new place for his bedroom. Was supposed to get it Tuesday, but it wasn’t in stock until today. His brother Is free to help him tonight after they both work. The installers are coming tomorrow .

I believe him. He’s been sending me progress pics of everything.

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Hey my friend. Sorry little G (who isnt so little anymore) is having to deal with this with her father. Not surprised at him at all, sadly. Follow her lead. Take it slow. Have her talk to someone neutral.

As far as you are concerned. GET OUTTA YOUR HEAD!

He could have issues or not. I know people years out of a marriage that still have them.

You have been at this long enough to know deal. You are going in with your eyes wide open.

Just enjoy it. Could you get hurt? Maybe. Could he possibly be a great match? Also, maybe. Time will tell.

Life is short. Just enjoy. Watch your heart some..not too much that you dont let him in. Just be you. Dont get hung up on him too early. Take it slow...but have some fun!!!

I am trying out some new thoughts in trying to get unstuck...yet again. I am telling myself..what's the worse that could happen? I get hurt. I fail. I lost out. None of which is life threatening.

Give little G a hug for me. Love you.

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Originally Posted by uRworthy
Just enjoy it. Could you get hurt? Maybe. Could he possibly be a great match? Also, maybe. Time will tell.

Life is short. Just enjoy. Watch your heart some..not too much that you dont let him in. Just be you. Dont get hung up on him too early. Take it slow...but have some fun!!!

Watch The Book Club. Wait for the scene at the end where Diane is talking to her daughters about her new beau. Listen to what she says. It's the coolest attitude towards dating one can have, imho.

(it's on amazon prime)


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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